高考英語 書面表達(dá)系列及參考范文（32）.doc

2014高考英語書面表達(dá)系列系列（32）及參考范文作文（*） 今年5月31日是第21個世界無煙日，英文21世紀(jì)報(bào)計(jì)劃舉辦一次征艾比賽，主題是青少年吸煙問題。請根據(jù)以下提示寫一篇短文參賽： 1絕大部分青少年吸煙者認(rèn)為暖姻藍(lán)禧粳酷，氆禾套馬上對身體產(chǎn)生危害，只要在危害到來之前戒掉就是了。 2請你駁斥這種觀點(diǎn)，應(yīng)包含以下信息：吸煙浪費(fèi)金錢，渾身氣味，牙齒骯臟，上癮會致癌，患心、肺疾?。幻皢拭U(xiǎn)追求時(shí)髦沒有益處；戒煙要抓緊時(shí)間。 3提出一些幫助人們戒煙的建議(至少60詞)。 注意：詞數(shù)120150，文章標(biāo)題已繪出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。smoking is not cool and quit now _【參考范文】one possible version：smoking is not cool and quit now most young smokers say smoking is cool and doesnt hurt us fight nowpeople can just stop before it gets dangerous but in my opinion，smoking is not cool at allin addition to the waste of money，smoking makes you smell bad and makes your teeth dirtybeing addicted to cigarettes will poison your bedy with cancer causing byproductsdying of lung and heart disease or cancer wont promote your popularitydont quit until its too late-smoking begins to damage your body the moment you start to quit you should first set a date and quit completely on that daythen find out the times you are most likely to smoke and make a plan about what youll do instead of smoking at those timesfor example，take a walk when feeling stressedtake exercise to resist the desire to smokelet your friends give you a help reminding you if necessary*結(jié)束 a good face is a letter of recommendation some people say beauty is just a skin deep. i dont quite agree with them. good appearance often makes a big difference in social communication, competition， finding jobs and so on. not only can good appearance help you become more confident， but also it helps you be impressed. if you want to get a good job，the first sight is important. physical beauty is probable to draw much attention. however，we have to face this problem. we have no right to choose our appearance. when necessary，we can make up ourselves. if you think doing this is a good way to improve your confidence，just do what you really want to regardless others opinion. it is worth all the money and time. facing a variety of social pressures，we young people should build confidence. confidence is the key to success. in a word，you may not be the most beautiful one，but you can be the most attractive one；you may not the best one，but you can be the most confident one. show yourself and chances will kiss you in time. 【點(diǎn)評】 愛美之心人皆有之。我們追求美，創(chuàng)造美，一副好臉孔就是一封介紹信，作者圍繞這一主題進(jìn)行闡述。在現(xiàn)代社會里，美麗的外表在社交、競爭、求職等方面有著不可低估的作用。作者立意大膽，構(gòu)思巧妙，很有個性。文章敘述清楚，層次分明，過渡自然。在語言表達(dá)上，運(yùn)用倒裝句、排比句等句式，增強(qiáng)了文章的感染力。 文中語言錯誤有兩處： probable改為likely。probable不能用某人或某物作主語，常用it作形式主語，構(gòu)成it is probable for sb. to do sth.結(jié)構(gòu)。 regardless之后加of。regardless of是復(fù)合介詞，意為“不理會、不顧”。*結(jié)束 一、導(dǎo)語 what does beauty really mean？ everybody has own definition. the standard of beauty changes with different society， culture and nations. some hold the point that the beautiful appearance is of great importance， which is visible to all. others have the idea that the spiritual beauty is the loveliest one, which lasts long. however different it might be， their opinions are all acceptable. 什么是美呢？每個人都有自己的定義。美的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)因社會、文化和國度不同而產(chǎn)生差異。有的人認(rèn)為相貌上的美是最重要、最直觀的美，有的人則認(rèn)為心靈上的美才是最可愛、最長久的美。無論哪種美，這些對美的定義都是有道理的。 二、創(chuàng)設(shè)情境 以“what is beauty in your mind”為主題，發(fā)表自己的看法，題目自擬。要求：1. 行文流暢，觀點(diǎn)鮮明；2. 內(nèi)容豐富，層次分明；3. 詞數(shù)150左右。 三、學(xué)生習(xí)作 beauty will buy no beef everyone admires beauty. nowadays some people tend to think that they own beauty if they have a good looking. they are not satisfied with their appearance. they spend much money taking a kind of operation. can beauty really be man-made？if so， everybody can get beauty. as a result，there is no beauty at all. the appearance is given by our parents and is unique in the world. everyone should value it. id rather prefer nature as the standard of beauty. just accept yourself, accept everything the god gives to you，and create the beautiful life belong to you. many heroes dont have beautiful surface. however，their beautiful images often come to our minds. their beauty comes from their contributions to the society. dont be eager to judge whether a person is beautiful or not without a thorough understanding of him. a beautiful person is not the one with a good looking，but with a broad and kind heart. good looking is pleasant while spiritual beauty is more important. as an old saying goes，“virtue is fairer than beauty.”if you have a kind heart，you own real beauty. 【點(diǎn)評】 本文以諺語“漂亮不能當(dāng)飯吃”為題，直截了當(dāng)?shù)亓脸隽俗约旱挠^點(diǎn)。全文以“美德勝于美貌”為主線，闡述了“追求外形的美而放棄了內(nèi)在的美不是真正的美”。文章觀點(diǎn)鮮明，結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，用詞恰當(dāng)，作者能運(yùn)用諺語來強(qiáng)化自己的觀點(diǎn)，有較強(qiáng)的英語語言組織能力和表達(dá)能力。 本文有兩處語言錯誤： id rather prefer應(yīng)改為 id prefer。would rather表示“寧愿”，prefer也是“寧愿”的意思，兩者不能連用在一起。 belong to 改為belonging to，在此處作定語。*結(jié)束 假如你叫王方，乘出租車時(shí)丟了手提箱。在失物招領(lǐng)處，工作人員要求你用英文寫一份書面材料。 內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)：1 上午11點(diǎn)鐘到達(dá)機(jī)場，然后帶著5件行李乘一輛黃色出租車到假日酒店（holiday inn）；2 到達(dá)酒店后，發(fā)現(xiàn)由于粗心將手提箱遺失在出租車上。不幸的是，未注意到出租車的車牌號；3 手提箱是黑色的，由塑料制成，尺寸大約為60cm40cm16cm；4 箱內(nèi)有一臺攝像機(jī)、兩條長褲、三件襯衫、幾本兒童讀物以及一個錢包。錢包內(nèi)有一張2,000美元的支票；5 你的聯(lián)系電話是 注意：1. 詞數(shù)100左右；2. 文章的開頭已為你寫好。 my name is wang fang. i arrived at the airport at 11 am. 學(xué)生作品： my name is wang fang. i arrived at the airport at 11 am. then i took a yellow taxi to the holiday inn with five luggages. when i arrived at the holiday inn, i found my suitcase had been left in the taxi because of my carelessness. unfortunately, i didnt notice the taxis licence. the suitcase is black and made of plastic. it is about 60 centimetre by 40 centimetre by 16 centimetre. in it, there is a camera, two pairs of trousers, three pieces of shirts, several books for children and a purse. in the purse, there is a check of 2,000 dollars. could the finder make relation with me? my telephone number is thank you. wang fang 點(diǎn)評： 1. 第一段第3句：luggage為不可數(shù)名詞，five luggages表達(dá)不正確，可改為five pieces of luggage。 2. 第一段第5句：licence意為執(zhí)照，不是牌照，故the taxis licence可改為the number of the taxi。 3. 第二段第2句：表示度量單位的centimetre為可數(shù)名詞，應(yīng)把三個 centimetre都改為centimetres。 4. 第二段第3句：in it過于簡短，不必在其后停頓，其后逗號應(yīng)去掉。 5. 第二段第3句：shirt是可數(shù)名詞， three pieces of shirts表達(dá)不正確，應(yīng)改為three shirts。 6. 第二段第4句：表示價(jià)值時(shí)，通常用介詞for，故of最好改為for。 7第三段第1句：make relation with me表達(dá)不正確。習(xí)作者想表達(dá)與我取得聯(lián)系，可改為get in touch with me或return the suitcase to me。 修改好的文章：my name is wang fang. i arrived at the airport at 11 am. then i took a yellow taxi to the holiday inn with five pieces of luggage. when i arrived at the holiday inn, i found my suitcase had been left in the taxi because of my carelessness. unfortunately, i didnt notice the number of the taxi. the suitcase is black and made of plastic. it is about 60 centimetres by 40 centimetres by 16 centimetres. in it there is a camera, two pairs of trousers, three shirts, several books for children and a purse. in the purse, there is a check for 2,000 dollars. could the finder get in touch with me? my telephone number is thank you. wang fang*結(jié)束書面表達(dá)的要求是切中題意,語言準(zhǔn)確,條理清楚。寫作既可以體現(xiàn)詞匯、句型、語法等的掌握情況,又可以體現(xiàn)一個人的邏輯思維。因此,寫好一篇短文是件不容易的事。高考命題逐漸向開放式的作文過渡,開放式的作文更有利于考生發(fā)揮自己的水平,其難度也相應(yīng)提高了。因此,對于開放式的作文,只要短文寫得流暢,表達(dá)得清楚,體裁正確,邏輯合理,就應(yīng)視為是一篇好作文。請參考下面一篇書面表達(dá):寫作要求:出國留學(xué)已成為一種潮流,請你就此問題談一談自己的觀點(diǎn),簡要論述留學(xué)的利與弊。詞數(shù)為100左右。范文如下:nowadays going abroad to study is very popular. even some primary school students, whose families are well off, are studying abroad, let alone university students and postgraduates. studying abroad can widen ones view and help learn about the cultures of foreign countries. of course, its a good way to learn foreign languages. but studying abroad is not suitable for everyone because of the high cost and fees. if a students family cant support him and he has to struggle in a foreign country for a living not for his studies, i think he neednt go abroad. he can study well in china and he will be able to become successful.so going abroad to study is one way, but not the only way, to ones education and success.點(diǎn)評:本文從出國熱入手,寫出了作者對出國留學(xué)的看法,有利的一面是開闊視野,學(xué)習(xí)外國的文化和語言;不利的一面是費(fèi)用太高,并非適合所有學(xué)生。作者巧妙地陳述了對留學(xué)的贊同和反對,并以結(jié)尾句點(diǎn)出了出國留學(xué)對于一個人的教育與成功并非是唯一的出路。在寫本篇作文時(shí),在表達(dá)上應(yīng)當(dāng)注意以下幾點(diǎn):1.由于高考作文一般要求寫一篇100詞左右的作文,篇幅不易太長,不能隨意發(fā)揮。題材廣泛,但不能失去控制。2.在寫作中要盡力避免使用一些生詞,如:潮流(trend)。遇到需要的詞匯而不會表達(dá)時(shí),換種說法表達(dá)即可。因此,上文的第一句nowadays going abroad for studies is very popular.就是一個很好的轉(zhuǎn)換表達(dá)。3.對于這個題目,短文中應(yīng)當(dāng)有留學(xué)的利與弊兩方面的內(nèi)容,不要只論述單方面的內(nèi)容。4.學(xué)會使用一些連接詞以及一些過渡性的詞匯,使行文自然、流暢。如范文中的nowadays, even, but, of course, if, so, i think等。5.注意文章的開頭與結(jié)尾句。第一句的作用是引出下文,而結(jié)尾句是畫龍點(diǎn)睛。*結(jié)束作文（*） 假如你是李華，你的美國朋友peter想和家人來中國定居，請你幫他在city a和city b兩座城市中做出選擇。下面的圖表是對這兩座城市在就業(yè)、安全、娛樂和氣候等方面的對比。圖標(biāo)左邊的數(shù)字表明人們對這兩座城市的喜愛程度。請根據(jù)圖表提供的信息，給peter寫一封信，提出你的建議并說明理由。 2可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使文章連貫。3信的開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。dear peter， im so glad to learn that you and your family are coming to settle down in china_ nev