荊軻刺秦王(搞笑英語小話劇,英語及翻譯)

1、荊珂刺秦王旁白 ：Long long ago, there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “ Yingzheng ” . But finally hfeailed. Do you want to know what happened at

2、 that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.很久以前， 有一個瘋狂的國家， 在這個瘋狂的國家有一些瘋狂的人， 試圖用瘋狂 的方式展示瘋狂的歷史。 荊軻是最有名的劍客并被派去殺清王， 嬴政。但最后他 失敗了。你想知道當(dāng)時發(fā)生了什么事？好吧，下面將會告訴你真相。Action I太子丹 ： Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? （ 畫外音： It 's you, Prince Dan!） Thank u mirror! I'm Pr

3、ince Dan, the magic mirror saidI am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do?Where is my minister? 鏡子，鏡子，告訴我，這個世界上最漂亮的人是誰？ （畫外音：是你，太子丹！ ） 謝謝你的鏡子！ 我是太子丹， 魔鏡說我是世界上最有吸引力的男人。 但嬴政是一 個嫉妒的家伙，

4、 我覺得如果鏡子告訴他真相他會殺了我。 我很害怕。 我該怎么辦 呢？我大臣在哪里？ 阿三: Honey, I am coming.親愛的，我來了。太子丹： I 've told you again and again that you should call me“my mostbeautiful 、graceful 、 handsome 、 charming 、cute 、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!我告訴過你一次又一次，你應(yīng)該叫我“我最美麗的、優(yōu)雅、英俊、迷人、可愛、 聰明和最親愛的太子丹”！ 阿三： Sure, honey! I have a go

5、od idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng 當(dāng)然，親愛的！我有一個好主意。我們可以找一個英雄去殺嬴政 太子： Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent! Good idea! But who is the right candidate? 歐耶！二十一世紀(jì)最需要的是什么，人才！好主意！但誰是合適的人選？ 阿三： After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMo

6、Chou, the other is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.經(jīng)過篩選后我手上有兩個有前途的人。 一是李莫愁小姐， 另一個是荊軻先生。 明 天他們將 PK 為世界頭號殺手。太子： Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 好的，給我盡快得主，好嗎？阿三： Yes.Action II荊軻： Are you Li mochou?李莫愁： Yes.荊軻： OK. I 'm Jingke, you know, I will let

7、you know I am the king of the killers world.好的。我是荊軻，你知道，我會讓你知道我是世界頭號殺手之王。 李莫愁： Are you challenging me?你想挑戰(zhàn)我嗎？荊軻： Off course! 李莫愁： Come on!李莫愁： What happened? Why aren 't you hurt? 發(fā)生了什么？你為什么不疼？荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? 贏一個人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？李莫愁： Momma al

8、ways said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.媽媽常說： “生活就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永遠(yuǎn)不知道你會得到什么。 “我明 白了，媽媽是對的。太子丹： How are you? 荊柯： Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹： Oh my God! Could you give me an innovati ve answer to “How are you”?哦

9、，天哪！你能給我一個創(chuàng)新的回答“你好嗎？”？ 荊柯： Sure!太子丹： How are you?荊柯： Fine, thank you, and your wife? 荊柯： Hey, man, I 'm kidding!太子丹： Oh, I 'm kidding tooM! ay I have your name card, please? 哦，我也是在開玩笑呢！我可以要一張你的名片嗎？ 阿三： Hero ，we need your help.荊柯： I am busy now! 太子丹： You can get a lot of money. 荊柯： I am very

10、busy now!阿三： IC, ID, IQ card?IC、ID、IQ 卡？荊柯： I am very very busy now!阿三: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.看！她是世界上最漂亮的女孩。如果你說好的，她就是你的。荊柯： I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!我不得不說她是一個非常性感美麗的女孩，但中醫(yī)是我唯一的愛！ 阿三： What?

11、 What's the TCM?荊柯： Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of themcan give you the answer.嘿，兄弟！你這么聰明，但為什么你不知道中醫(yī)？任何人都可以給你答案。 阿三： Excuse me? What's the TCM?觀眾甲： TCM - Traditional Chinese MM. 傳統(tǒng)的中國美眉太子丹： I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lip

12、ton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.我必須告訴你的王牌。 女士們，先生們， 這是立頓減肥茶。 這是一個全新的聯(lián)合 利華中國產(chǎn)品。荊柯： Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn ' t reduce my weight. 減肥茶！ 我夢想它數(shù)千次。 我的妻子總是威脅說要離開我， 如果我不能減輕我的 體重。阿三： You want

13、? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I' m very glad, you stillhave to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你想得倒好？假如你想要！ 你為什么保持沉默？你為什么看著我？雖然你很有誠 意，我很高興，你還是要說出來。你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要？ 荊柯： Just tell me what should I

14、 do? I will do anything for you. 告訴我，我應(yīng)該做什么？我會為你做任何事。Action III 阿三： Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 英雄，我們已經(jīng)達(dá)到了沂水河。荊珂： Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 就停在這里。再見，我的朋友 太子丹： I will miss you, baby.荊珂： Darling, I love you.妻子： I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this wh

15、ole world! 我愛你。對我而言，你比這個世界上的任何東西都更有意義。荊珂：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.我更愛你。哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你。妻子： Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. 怎么樣。作為一個男人，就去做！我會一直在這里等你。荊珂： Sweetheart! You must do me this honor

16、. promise me you will survive. that you will never give up. no matter what happens. no matter how hopeless. promise me now, and never let go of that promise 親愛的！你一定要幫我這個忙 ,答應(yīng)我你會活下去 ,你絕不會放棄 ,不管發(fā)生什 么事, 無論多么的絕望 , 現(xiàn)在就答應(yīng)我，永遠(yuǎn)不要忘記你的承諾 妻子： "I promise." 荊軻： "Never let go. “永不放棄妻子： "I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."妻子：It ' s a good day to die. Never come back. Never Never這是一個去死的好日子。再也回不來了。不 從未妻子： Thank y