英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

1、英語幽默笑話帶翻譯1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'

2、m not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 醫(yī)生懂得多 一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院.他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫(yī)生說:"我怕他已經(jīng)死了."聽到醫(yī)生的話,這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫(yī)生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without

3、meThe bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him.   "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts.   "It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him.   "But you can't go without

4、 me. I'm the driver." the man says.   沒有我你們走不了   公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.   "喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.   "車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對(duì)他說.   "但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機(jī)!"那位男士說道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were goin

5、g home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two poli

6、cemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，醉字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀！”4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to

7、 her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better e

8、yes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生?！蹦切∧泻⒄f。 5:Dear white, something you got to know

9、.When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I'm under the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I die, I'm still black. you-white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you

10、 grow up, you become white. You're red under the sun. You're blue when you're cold. You are yellow when you're afraid. You're green when you're sick. You're gray when you die. And you, call me "color"?親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當(dāng)我出生時(shí)，我是黑色的我長(zhǎng)大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時(shí)，我是黑色的我

11、害怕時(shí)，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當(dāng)我死了，我仍是黑色的。你-白種人，當(dāng)你出生時(shí)，你是粉紅色的。你長(zhǎng)大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時(shí)，你是青色的。你害怕時(shí)，你是黃色的。你生病時(shí)，你是綠色的。當(dāng)你死時(shí)，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我有色人種？6：Where is the father?Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes,&q

12、uot; said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪

13、兒了呢？”哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄?！?：How Many Rabbits?Teacher:    Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan:   Nine, sir.Teacher:    Nine?Jonathan:   I've g

14、ot one already, sir.多少只兔子？老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？喬納森：一共有九只，先生。老師：九只？喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。8：These Are My JeansAfter going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself-especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago“Look，look” she shouted while running

15、downstairs to show her husband“I can wear my old jeans again”Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans” 那是我的褲子! 一個(gè)婦女在減肥一段時(shí)間后自我感覺特別好特別是當(dāng)她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時(shí)。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了?！彼煞蚩戳怂靡粫?huì)兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子?！?：The mean man's partyThe n

16、otorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5th floor, find the door in the middle and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is open, push it with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?"&

17、quot;Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"吝嗇鬼請(qǐng)客一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請(qǐng)一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會(huì)空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。10：All I do is pay"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is forei