托福作文寫作范文詳解impro

托福作文寫作范文詳解Ingeneral,peoplearelivinglongernow.Discussthecausesofthisphenomenon.Usespecificreasonsanddetailstodevelopyouressay..題目翻譯：討論人們現(xiàn)在長壽的原因。.審題關(guān)鍵詞:Livinglonger;Lifestyle.論證分析:正:Thefirstreasonisduetothemiraclesofmodernmedicine.正：Asecondreasonwhypeoplearelivinglongernowisduetotheincreasingawarenessoftheimportanceandneedtotakebettercareofthemselvesandtheirhealth.正:Thethirdreasonisthatwenowhavemorewaystoenjoythebeautyoflife.范文:Todaypeoplearelivingtobemucholderthaneverbefore.Someofthemainreasonsforthisaretheimprovedhealthcareandbetternutritionavailabletoeveryone.此段結(jié)構(gòu)本段是一個分總的結(jié)構(gòu)。首先第一句話提供了要討論的背景，引出了要討論的話題。那么接下來第二句話擺明了作者對此的觀點，即人們生活的更長是因為他們更加健康而且攝入了更多營養(yǎng)。此段功能本段是文章的首段，引出了要討論的問題和作者對此的觀點看法。MedicalcareismoreavailabletopeoplenowthaninthepastAlthoughnoteveryonecangetthebesthealthcare,everyonecangetbasicheathcareandadvice.Whenpeopleareseriouslyill,theycangotoapublichospitalandreceivetreatment.Yearsago,healthcarewasn'tavailabletoeveryone.Somepeopledidn'tlivenearadoctororahospital,andotherscouldn'tpayforthecaretheyneeded.Theymadedowithherbalmedicinesorfolkremedies.Ofcourse,someoftheseworked,butnotforthemoreseriousdiseases.Thequalityofmedicalcarehasimproved.That'salsoafactorinlongevity.Doctorsknowmorenowaboutwhatcausesdiseaseandhowtotreatthem.,Yearsago,doctorsonlyknewaboutthemostbasicdiseasesandcures.Medicinewasnotveryadvanced.Youcoulddiefromsomethingassimpleasaninfectionfromacut.Nowwehaveantibioticsandothermedicinestohelpcureinfections.此段結(jié)構(gòu)本段是一個總分的結(jié)構(gòu)。首先第一句話即點明了主旨，些了現(xiàn)在的醫(yī)療更加發(fā)達了。第二句話是一個讓步。第三句話對論點進行了假設(shè)分析。后面將現(xiàn)在的醫(yī)療情況不多年以前的醫(yī)療情況進行了對比，凸顯了現(xiàn)在醫(yī)療水平的進步。本文可以分為多個層次，每一個層次都是從開同面的今昔對比。此段功能本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，寫了支持作者立場的第一個分論點。Peoplearealsolivinglongernowbecauseofbetternutrition.We'reeatingbetterandmorehealthfullythanweusedto.Thishasreducedthenumberofpeoplewithheartdiseaseandcancer.Wetrytoeatlow-fatfoodsandeatmorevegetableandfruitswhicharenowavailableyear-round.此段結(jié)構(gòu)本段是一個總分的結(jié)構(gòu)。首先第一句話即點明了主旨。后面對主旨進行了簡要分析。結(jié)構(gòu)比較簡單，沒有分層。此段功能本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，寫了支持作者立場的第二個分論點。Improvedmedicalcareandhealthyeatinghabitshasgreatlyextendedourlifespans.Whatweneedtodonowismakesurethateveryoneintheworldhasthesebenefits.此段結(jié)構(gòu)本段是只有兩句話，第一句話承接了上文，對上文的敘述進行了總結(jié)。第二句話呼吁人們都享受到這樣的生活進步帶來的benefit此段功能本段是文章的尾段，承接上文，對上文進行了總結(jié)，開重申了論點。滿分因素剖析一、語言表達不其他滿分作文相比，本文語言略顯平淡。開過幾乎沒有語法錯誤和邏輯錯誤，語言明了，文章清晰易懂。在托福寫作中，有些同學刻意去使用一些自己從未使用過的高難詞匯，長難句型，往往出現(xiàn)很多錯誤，而且詞開達意，從而得到很低的分數(shù)。因此，那些在寫作方面沒有很多積累的同學，可以學習這篇文章的寫法。Wetrytoeatlow-fatfoodsandeatmorevegetableandfruitswhicharenowavailableyear-round.止匕句Improvedmedicalcareandhealthyeatinghabitshasgreatlyextendedourlifespans.此句中