高三英語(yǔ)二模讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)解析講義

深圳市二模讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)題目原文：第二節(jié)（滿分25分）閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。BalletwasawayoflifeinKelly'sfamily.HereldersisterSerenawasnowdancingatatopcollege.ThoughKelly'smomalwayswantedhertofollowinhersister'sfootstepsandKellyherselfwasgoodatballet,herloveforballethadfadedyearsbefore,andshewaseagerforanewchallenge.Onedayatschool,asKellyleftthedancestudio,shewalkedpastthegym,fascinatedbyboxers（拳擊手）traininginsidetheboxingring.Shewasdeeplyimpressedbyhowhardtheyhitandhowfasttheymoved.Infact,she'dlongbeenattractedtoboxing.Shepulledapieceofpaperfromherbackpack.OnthefamiliarOakwoodHighSchoolClubSign-upSheetwasthephrase：BOXINGCLUBTRYOUT（選拔）.ThatwaswhatKellyreallywantedtodo.Sheknewhermomhadhighexpectationsforherwhenitcametoballet.Tiredoftryingtokeepupwithhersister,Kellywasreadytocarveherownpath.Thenextday,shegatheredhercourageandtoldSerenaabouthernewpassion.Atfirst,Serenadidn'tunderstandandthoughtshewasjustjoking.ButwhenshesawKellywasserious,shereplied,"YouknowMomwantsyoutobeaballetdancer,right?Besides,boxingisonlyforboys,andyou'resogoodatballet.Leanintoyourstrength,Kelly.""ButthisiswhereIwanttoputmystrength,"Kellyinsisted,"andwhatexactlydoes'onlyforboys'mean,anyway?Boxingisasportforeveryone!"Gradually,touchedbyherdeterminationandpassion,Serenabegantounderstandandsupporther.Kellycouldfeelit.Hersisterwasgoingtorespectherdecision,nomatterwhat.Butthatwasnothingcomparedtothepreparationsforthetryout,whereshewasrequiredtoshowherfootworkandpunching（擊打）abilitieswithothercandidates.Boxingdidn'tcomenaturaltoKelly,butshehadmadeuphermindtostickwithherchoice.注意：1.續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。ThenKellybeganhertrainingforthetryout,keepingitasecretfromhermom.ThefollowingMonday,resultsoftheboxingtryoutwereposted.官方范文：ThenKellybeganhertraining,keepingitasecretfromhermom.

Everydayafterschool,Kellydashedtotheboxinggym,occupyingherselfwiththeintensetraining.Stretchinglegs,practicingherfootworkandimprovingendurancehadbecomethebittersweetroutineofherlife.Evenwhenshewasmadefunofbyboysinthegym,shebitherliptightlyandcontinuedhertraining.Finally,thetryoutcame.Extremelynervousthough,shesteppedintotheboxingring,movedfastandpunchedhardtothesurpriseofothercandidates.Afterthetryout,Kellyleftthegymconfidently,knowingshedidherbest.ThefollowingMonday,resultsoftheboxingtryoutwereposted.

Toherdelight,Kellyfoundhernameonthelist.Thrilled,shesharedthenewswithSerena,bothreadytorevealthesecrettotheirmom.Atdinnerthatday,Kellygatheredhercourageandsaidtohermom,“I'msorry,mom.I'vemadetheboxingteamandI'mreadytocarvemyownpath."Atfirst,aflickerofdisbeliefandshockcrossedhermom'sface,butafteralong,heart-to-hearttalk,shegaveKellyabearhugandwhisperedsoftly,“I'msoproudofyouforbeingyourself.”二、評(píng)分原則(采取雙評(píng)，差距5分產(chǎn)生三評(píng))1.本題總分為25分，按5個(gè)檔次進(jìn)行評(píng)分。2.評(píng)分時(shí)，主要從①內(nèi)容的合理性、②語(yǔ)言正確性豐富性、③銜接連貫性三個(gè)方面考慮，具體為：(1)續(xù)寫(xiě)內(nèi)容的合理性、完整性、原文情境的融洽程度以及是否傳遞正能量。(2)所使用詞匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)的準(zhǔn)確性、豐富性和得體性。(3)上下文的銜接和全文的連貫性。3.評(píng)分時(shí)，應(yīng)先根據(jù)作答的整體情況確定其所屬的檔次，然后以該檔次的要求來(lái)綜合衡量，確定或調(diào)整檔次，最后給分。4.評(píng)分時(shí)還應(yīng)注意：(1)詞數(shù)過(guò)多或過(guò)少(少于130；多于180)均酌情扣1-2分，詞數(shù)不超過(guò)所給答題框即可。(2)書(shū)寫(xiě)較差以致影響交際的，酌情扣分1-2分，但不能僅憑書(shū)寫(xiě)打印象分。(3)單詞拼寫(xiě)和標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是寫(xiě)作規(guī)范的重要方面，評(píng)分時(shí)應(yīng)視其對(duì)交際的影響程度予以考慮，英、美拼寫(xiě)及詞匯用法均可接受。(4)超過(guò)2段扣2分。(5)關(guān)于主題偏離的處理，建議最高不超過(guò)及格分往下評(píng)。(6)如果只續(xù)寫(xiě)了其中一段，但該部分完成質(zhì)量好、字?jǐn)?shù)達(dá)到要求，建議最高不超過(guò)12分往下評(píng)。三、評(píng)分細(xì)節(jié)1.內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)(1)文本大意：文章講述了Kelly一家對(duì)芭蕾舞的熱愛(ài)，尤其是她的媽媽和姐姐Serena。然而，Kelly對(duì)芭蕾舞的熱情已經(jīng)逐漸消退，她渴望嘗試新的挑戰(zhàn)。一天，她被學(xué)校拳擊館內(nèi)的拳擊手所吸引，決定報(bào)名參加拳擊俱樂(lè)部的選拔。盡管她的姐姐Serena起初不理解，但最終還是被Kelly的決心和激情所感動(dòng)，支持她的選擇。(2)主題立意：文章主題立意明確，內(nèi)容指向的是勇敢追求自己夢(mèng)想，勇于挑戰(zhàn)自我。Kelly不僅關(guān)注自己的興趣，而且勇于挑戰(zhàn)傳統(tǒng)觀念，展現(xiàn)了堅(jiān)定的決心和勇氣。(3)續(xù)寫(xiě)方向：根據(jù)文中的"BOXINGCLUBTRYOUT"、"Boxingdidn'tcomenaturaltoKelly"和段首兩句中的"ThenKellybeganhertrainingforthetryout,keepingitasecretfromhermom"和"ThefollowingMonday,resultsoftheboxingtryoutwereposted"，要求學(xué)生能夠把握Kelly努力訓(xùn)練、參加選拔并最終成功的過(guò)程，以及她如何面對(duì)母親的期望和支持。(4)續(xù)寫(xiě)要點(diǎn)：第一段：1.Kelly進(jìn)行拳擊訓(xùn)練；2.Kelly在訓(xùn)練中所遇到的困難和挑戰(zhàn)；3.Kelly參加選拔并展現(xiàn)出出色的表現(xiàn)；4.這段最后要提到“boxingtryout“,以與第二段首句形成有效銜接。第二段：5.選拔結(jié)果公布，Kelly成功入選；6.Kelly向母親透露秘密；7.母親最終接受并支持Kelly的選擇。(5)續(xù)寫(xiě)難度：從文章難度上看，文章主題清晰，抓住主線的難度不會(huì)太大，但仍有可能出現(xiàn)以下幾方面的問(wèn)題：1

沒(méi)能把握好Kelly在訓(xùn)練和選拔過(guò)程中所面臨的挑戰(zhàn)；2

沒(méi)有突出Kelly勇敢追求自己夢(mèng)想的決心和勇氣；2.語(yǔ)言表達(dá)(1)語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確性：句式、時(shí)態(tài)和詞匯；(2)語(yǔ)言豐富性：句式多樣，恰當(dāng)運(yùn)用復(fù)合句、非謂語(yǔ)和特殊句型等；運(yùn)用合適的詞匯進(jìn)行心理、動(dòng)作、語(yǔ)言和環(huán)境等細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)；不鼓勵(lì)為了追求所謂的高級(jí)詞匯、短語(yǔ)或句式，套用背誦積累的“高大上”的語(yǔ)言，導(dǎo)致語(yǔ)義、語(yǔ)境和邏輯的混亂；語(yǔ)言邏輯性：段間、句間邏輯銜接自然、緊密。非方范文（僅供參考）：ThenKellybeganhertrainingforthetryout,keepingitasecretfromhermom.Shespentcountlesshourspracticingherfootworkandpunches,drawingonherballetbackgroundtohelpwithherbalanceandagility.Evenwhenshewasmadefunofbyboysinthegym,shebitherliptightlyandcontinuedhertraining.Intheevenings,shewouldwatchvideosoffamousboxers,studyingtheirtechniquesandtryingtoemulatetheirmoves.Asthetryoutdayapproached,Kelly'sconfidencegrew,andsheknewthatshehadmadetherightdecisioninpursuingherpassionforboxing.ThefollowingMonday,resultsoftheboxingtryoutwereposted.Toherdelight,shefoundhernameamongthesuccessfulcandidates!Overwhelmedwithjoy,shecouldn'twaittosharethenewswithSerena,whohadbeenherrockthroughouttheentireprocess.However,sheknewthatthehardestpartwasyettocome–breakingthenewstohermom.Surprisingl