高考全國(guó)I卷英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)Iattendedawritingcontest講義高三英語(yǔ)一輪復(fù)習(xí)

2023年高考全國(guó)I卷英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)Iattendedawritingcontest講義試題呈現(xiàn)：閱讀下面材料，依據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest.Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.Writingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingofthe

Titanic

byactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.〞Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewassilversmith(銀匠)

inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswereing.Mystorywouldestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny;andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,ashespedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevere’shorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloud,andsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.〞Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin,Iwouldn’tcare.留意：1．續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150個(gè)左右；2．請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Paragraph1:Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,

therecame

thenews.Paragraph2:Iwenttotheteacher’sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.原文及翻譯WhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacheraskedmetoenterawritingcontest,Isaidnowithoutthinking.Ididnotlovewriting.這里是一個(gè)經(jīng)典的壓抑性節(jié)拍開(kāi)場(chǎng)，事實(shí)上我們的情感線也從開(kāi)頭就開(kāi)頭埋下：仆人公對(duì)writing從didnotlove到fallinlove的轉(zhuǎn)變。很明顯，全文必需抓住這一個(gè)關(guān)鍵線索。MyfamilycamefromBrazil,soEnglishwasonlymysecondlanguage.WritingwassodifficultandpainfulformethatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicbyactingoutaplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.

一個(gè)幫助性表達(dá)，交代了作者的ESL背景以及一點(diǎn)小故事，事實(shí)上是為第一段的場(chǎng)景供應(yīng)了更深的負(fù)面成分。Noonelaughedharderthanhedid.

這一句當(dāng)時(shí)被我抓住了。由于我很關(guān)注情感傾向，我第一時(shí)間發(fā)覺(jué)laugh是個(gè)中性詞——或者說(shuō)是一個(gè)完全可以抑揚(yáng)處理的詞語(yǔ)。后面我們會(huì)看到這個(gè)laugh的再現(xiàn)作用。So,whydidhesuddenlyforcemetodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Ifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.〞Encouragedbyhiswords,Iagreedtogiveitatry.

這是一個(gè)預(yù)備性的節(jié)拍，其實(shí)從情節(jié)上除了過(guò)渡沒(méi)有什么用處。但在潛臺(tái)詞上，它表達(dá)了兩個(gè)事情：其一，僅僅只是encouragedbyhiswords，說(shuō)明這位老師在仆人公心里的地位是不低的，一個(gè)連交作業(yè)都要申請(qǐng)表演Titanic的同學(xué)能被勸去參與競(jìng)賽，從常理來(lái)講是極為困難的事情；其二，這位老師始終信任仆人公的潛力，這一點(diǎn)很重要，不然后文的整個(gè)基調(diào)就會(huì)消失問(wèn)題。IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.PaulReverewasasilversmith(銀匠)inBostonwhorodeahorseatnightonApril18,1775toLexingtontowarnpeoplethatBritishsoldierswereing.Mystorywouldestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantidea,butfunny,andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.

特別innovative的一個(gè)設(shè)想，其實(shí)我第一時(shí)間想到了一篇語(yǔ)文閱讀，就是?薩布素的信使?。幾乎完全相同的故事，只不過(guò)這一次仆人公打算用horse的視角。下一段正是仆人公的具體想法。Whatdidthehorsethink,asspedthroughthenight?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likerevere’shorse,Ikeptgoing.

連續(xù)的排比，氣概事實(shí)上特別強(qiáng)。一個(gè)sympathize

其實(shí)很好地說(shuō)明白仆人公自己的境地。我當(dāng)時(shí)毫不遲疑地從這里設(shè)計(jì)出了結(jié)尾。Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Iaskedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonpaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.

一連串的動(dòng)詞，正向節(jié)拍的進(jìn)一步引導(dǎo)。到這里為止其次場(chǎng)景結(jié)束，是完全經(jīng)典的一種模式。當(dāng)時(shí)我估計(jì)，依據(jù)節(jié)拍的正常開(kāi)展，接下來(lái)肯定是初稿被大量correct的情節(jié)，事實(shí)證明果真如此。WhenIhandedintheessaytomyteacher,hereadit,laughedoutloudandsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.〞Iwroteitagain,andagainandagain.

四個(gè)again很引人注目。我個(gè)人這個(gè)時(shí)候在試卷上就寫(xiě)了一個(gè)again，然后提示自己后面肯定要再找個(gè)東西again一下。WhenIfinallyfinishedit,thethoughtofwinninghadgivenwaytotheenjoymentofwriting.IfIdidn’twin.Iwouldn’tcare.

看起來(lái)很短的句子，其實(shí)是全文相當(dāng)重要的一局部。這個(gè)第三場(chǎng)景最終的心理轉(zhuǎn)變打算了接下來(lái)仆人公的喜悅肯定不會(huì)是發(fā)癲一樣的狂喜，而最多是冷靜的、很dopamine的快樂(lè)。寫(xiě)作范文及翻譯第一段我們來(lái)到了Para1：Afewweekslater,whenIalmostforgotthecontest,therecamethenews.

這個(gè)句子其實(shí)是沒(méi)有什么作用的，除了almostforgot照應(yīng)了前面的心理變化，并不存在很值得提取的局部。這一段其實(shí)就是很經(jīng)典的快樂(lè)場(chǎng)面，結(jié)合前面的一些鋪墊，我很順暢地寫(xiě)出了自己的描寫(xiě)。Withmyhearthammeringhard,Irippedtheordinaryenvelopesentbythemitteeopen,notexpectinganythingaboutaprize.

一個(gè)很好玩的事情是當(dāng)時(shí)為什么會(huì)寫(xiě)hearthammeringhard，由于我先任憑出了hearthammering，又惡作劇地準(zhǔn)備直接三個(gè)頭韻，于是有了這個(gè)hard〔笑〕。Notexpecting這一句，好似會(huì)有人說(shuō)是亮點(diǎn)，但假如前面的最終一段看到了，加上仆人公對(duì)自己并不自信，其實(shí)這是一個(gè)很自然的心理預(yù)期。However,muchtomysurprise,thereslippedoutaglisteninggoldenmedalwithabig"Top#1"andmyinitiativesonit.

我自己其實(shí)最得意的是這個(gè)#——開(kāi)玩笑的，但的確作為排行榜來(lái)說(shuō)，帶一個(gè)井號(hào)是比擬地道的現(xiàn)象。留意這個(gè)initiative，同樣是比擬典型的操作，在獎(jiǎng)牌上一般是寫(xiě)不下全名的。Believeme,youcan'timaginehowearsplittingmycrywas,thoughIdidn'tcareabouttherankbutmyworkbeingpaidoff.

這句話其實(shí)是拼拼湊湊的——為了讀者寫(xiě)出believeme的前半句，而后半句那么是我突然發(fā)覺(jué)自己并未強(qiáng)調(diào)過(guò)之前講的那個(gè)心理變化，所以加上去的。但寫(xiě)完發(fā)覺(jué)也還好，所以就放過(guò)去了。LaterintheawardpresentationthatSaturday,Icouldn'thelpcurvingmylipsintoaneartoeargrinwhileIwasonthestage,andanexpertinthejudgingpanelremarkedmynovelas"highlyinnovative""fulloftalent"orsomethinglikethat.

這里Saturday是我自己加上去的細(xì)節(jié)，為了增加一點(diǎn)真實(shí)感；expert那么是典型的側(cè)面描寫(xiě)了，由于前面都是體驗(yàn)視角，這里穿插一些場(chǎng)面，用這樣一個(gè)大句子放慢節(jié)奏，然后引出接下來(lái)的辦公室情節(jié)。ButallIwantedtodowastalkingtomyteacher.

典型的過(guò)渡，就不多說(shuō)了。其次段接下來(lái)是Paragraph2：Iwenttomyteacher'sofficeaftertheawardpresentation.

這里就是很標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的場(chǎng)景轉(zhuǎn)換點(diǎn)了，雖然依據(jù)正常的情節(jié)開(kāi)展，我是很想讓仆人公拿其次第三特殊獎(jiǎng)甚至參與獎(jiǎng)的，但考慮到改卷老師的心理承受力量，最終還是選了兩級(jí)上揚(yáng)的模式。這邊的office打算了接下來(lái)的場(chǎng)景描寫(xiě)。TherewereseveralstudentsaroundhimwhenIhandedhimthemedalwithmyslightlytremblingarms,butIhadneverheardhimlaughingharderthanhedidatthatmoment.

前半句完全是跟著office的場(chǎng)面在走，slightlytremblingarms我個(gè)人寫(xiě)完覺(jué)得其實(shí)多余了。Laughing在這里得到了重現(xiàn)——這次它是作為正向情感消失的，一個(gè)埋著的大抑揚(yáng)也就起來(lái)了，進(jìn)一步加強(qiáng)了我們收尾節(jié)拍的力度。Fornearlyaminute,theringinglaughterwithexhilarationechoedintheoffice,andIfoundmyselfinhistightembracethen.

其實(shí)重點(diǎn)在后半句，前半句算是一個(gè)快鏡頭，把這個(gè)大場(chǎng)面拉了過(guò)去，接下來(lái)就自然地拉近到仆人公身上了。"Youaretrulymystudent,bro."Hesaid,givingmeamightypatonmyshoulder."Justwriteandgoahead."

這句有點(diǎn)自戀的trulymystudent也是靈光一現(xiàn)之作，我當(dāng)時(shí)構(gòu)建的這個(gè)老師的形象就是那種很開(kāi)放自由的、亦師亦友的存在，從而后面的bro也就水到渠成了。而后半句的語(yǔ)言，完全是為了鋪墊最終結(jié)尾的照應(yīng)節(jié)拍。Tearsmingledwithbothpleasureandthankfulnessstreamingdown,IfeltIwasRevere'shorseonceagain.Ihadgottired.Ihadhaddoubts.Ihadwantedtoquit.ButImustkeepgoingandworkhard,becausemyfuturewasalwaysthere,waitingforme.

這里就完全是再現(xiàn)了，sympathize在這個(gè)地方被整個(gè)收攏，三個(gè)had其實(shí)是用來(lái)表示這是已經(jīng)過(guò)去的事情，也就是表達(dá)了仆人公的成長(zhǎng)。而always算是一個(gè)小trick，在最終一句我很想要一個(gè)音節(jié)的停頓來(lái)加強(qiáng)語(yǔ)氣，于是就消失了always，waitingforme那么是很經(jīng)典的短促收尾，提升力度用的。ChatGPT作文：WhenIalmostforgotthecontest,thenewscame.It

arrivedlikearayofsunshineonacloudyday.

Itwasaphonecall,andthevoiceontheotherenddeliveredtheincrediblemessage—Ihadwonthepetition.Asurgeofelationcoursedthroughme,dispellinganyremnantsofdoubt.

Irushed

totheawardpresentation.AnditwasnotuntilthenthatIrealized

that

thejourneyfromuncertaintytotriumphhadbeenarduous,buttheunwaveringsupportandbeliefofmyteacherhadpropelledmeforward.

IdecidedtovisitmyteachertheinstantIgottheaward.Iwenttotheteacher’sofficeaftertheawardintothefamiliarspace,

Ifoundmyteacherimmersedinpapers,aproudsmileilluminatinghisface.Weexchangedheartfeltwords,andhemendedmyperseveranceandgrowthasawriter.Leavinghisoffice,Icarriedaprofoundsenseofacplishment.Itwasatestamenttothepowerofresilienceandthetransformativeimpactofencouragement.原文觀賞：標(biāo)題：LightingtheCandle:AWildRideCarmenAgraDeedy出處：TheHornBookMagazineWhenIwasinmiddleschool,mysocialstudiesteacherencouragedmetoenterawritingcontest,sponsoredbyanorganizationinourhometown.Idemurred.Ilovedhistory.Ididnotlovewriting.IwasaCubanrefugee,andEnglishhadbeenmynemesisfromthemomentIfirstshovedachunkyNo.2pencilupanddownthedashedlinesofD’Nealianpaper.Myteacherknewmywritingwascursory.AndIknewthatIlackeddiscipline.(WhatneitherofusknewwasthatIwasalsodyslexic.)WritingwassoexcruciatingthatmyteacherhadallowedmetopresentmypaperonthesinkingoftheTitanicasanoralreport—aoneactplay,whereIplayedalltheparts.Noonewheezelaughedharderthanhe.So,whythesuddenhectoringtodosomethingatwhichIwassuretofail?Hisreply:“BecauseIloveyourstories.Andifyou’rewillingtoapplyyourself,Ithinkyouhaveagoodshotatthis.〞***Fewthingsmotivateawriterlikeabitofshamelessflattery.IchosePaulRevere’shorseasmysubject.Thestorywouldestraightfromthehorse’smouth.Notabrilliantnotion,butfunny;andunlikelytobeanyoneelse’schoice.Whatdidthehorsethink,asherippedthroughthenight,hiscoatsloughingsweat,hiseyeswidewithadrenaline?Didhegettired?Havedoubts?Didhewanttoquit?Isympathizedimmediately.Igottired.Ihaddoubts.Iwantedtoquit.But,likeRevere’sfabledhorse,Ikeptgoing.Iworkedhard.Icheckedmyspelling.Withadictionary.Ienlistedmyoldersistertocorrectmygrammar.IcheckedoutahalfdozenbooksonPaulReverefromthelibrary.Ievenreadafewofthem.WhenIhandedinthefinishedessay,myteacherreadit,laughedoutloud,andsaid,“Great.Now,writeitagain.Andnoname.Entriesareanonymous.〞Iwroteitagain.Andagainandagain.IfIdidn’twin,Ididn’tcare.Ihadpouredawobblywriter’sbloodandsweatintosomethingthatmademyteacherproud.Weekspassed.Iforgotthepetition.Thoughtsofwinning—apipedreamtobeginwith—gavewaytotheenticementsofaGeorgiaspring.Thencamethenews.Thereweretwowinnersfromeachgrade.Alanky,sweetnaturedredheadinmyclasswonsecondplace.Iwonfirstplace.ThatmayhavebeenthefirsttimeinmychattylifeI

wasstruckdumb,inanylanguage.Ourteacher

hootedwithdelight,myclassmatesstaredatmeinopendisbelief,andSecondPlaceRed

gamely

shookmyhand.Thefoll