讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)師生情類(lèi)-誤拿手表老師包容講義-高考英語(yǔ)作文復(fù)習(xí)專(zhuān)項(xiàng)

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。Afteranexhaustingday,Jackwanderedinthestreet,smilingwhilethinkingofhisstudents.Jackwasarespectableandconsiderateteacherwhilehisstudentstookgoodcareofhimtoo.Suddenly,afamiliarfigureflashedintoJack’seyes.ItwasMark,hisjuniorhighschoolteacher.Withthrill,Jackdashedforward,greetingenthusiastically,“Mark,howareyou?”Takingouthispresbyopia(老花鏡),Markstudiedthepassionateyoungmaninfrontofhim,hesitatedforamoment,andgotconfused.,“Sorry?Havewemetbefore?”Notdisappointedatall,Jackintroducedhimselfindelight,“Sorry,Mark.I’mJackSmith,fromClass2,Grade8,graduatingfromKevinJuniorHighSchoolin2001.NowI’mateacher.”Hearingthewords,Markwaspuzzledbutalsodelighted,askingaseriesofquestions.“Whycan’tIrememberyou?Areyouateachernow?”Inspiteofpooreyesight,Markdidhavesuchabrilliantmemorythathecouldevenrememberalmostallhisstudents.“Well,infact,youonlytookchargeofourclassforonlyoneday,andsomethinghappenedthatday.Ibecameateacherbecauseofyourinspiration.”TheoldMark,curious,keptraisingquestionssuchaswhentheymet,howhehadinspiredhimtobeateacher,andsoon.“Oneday,afriendofminecameinwithanicenewwatch.IwassocrazyaboutitthatIdecidedtotakeitandIdid.Afterashortwhile,myfriendfounditdisappearandimmediatelyreportedtotheteacher,you,whohappenedtobeinchargeofourclassforthatdaybecauseourteacherwasill.”AmixtureofemotionsfloatedinJack’seyesonrecallingtheshamefulhistory.Thatday,Markcameandtoldthewholeclassthatsomeoneintheclasscouldnotfindhiswatchandwhoevertookitpleasereturnit.Jackwastoofrightenedtohanditin.注意:1.

續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右2.

請(qǐng)按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。Then,Markclosedthedoorandtoldallstudentstogetup.____________ButMarkkeptsearchingeveryone’spockets.___________________________題型解讀動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)主要是通過(guò)對(duì)人物的動(dòng)作、行為和活動(dòng)的描寫(xiě)來(lái)展示人物的性格、品質(zhì)身份、地位、處境和狀態(tài)等。好的動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)可以使人物形象栩栩如生、活靈活現(xiàn)，個(gè)性特征更加鮮明。讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)的體裁是以人物為中心的敘事性記敘文，需要大篇幅的動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)，因此做好人物的動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)顯得尤為重要。四個(gè)應(yīng)對(duì)策略1.要準(zhǔn)確。要使用精準(zhǔn)化動(dòng)作類(lèi)詞匯對(duì)動(dòng)作進(jìn)行細(xì)致描寫(xiě)，用一系列小動(dòng)作而不用大動(dòng)作或者用含義比較明確的動(dòng)詞而不用抽象或虛化的動(dòng)詞來(lái)描述，以使描寫(xiě)更加具體生動(dòng)。試比較下面兩句:(1)Thelittleboysaidsorrytohismother.(2)Thelittleboyhunghisheadandmurmuredanapologytohismother.【分析】句(1)中saidsorryto不帶任何感情色彩，而句(2)中使用了具體化的表示“說(shuō)”的動(dòng)詞murmured，從而使一個(gè)不愿意道歉又不得不道歉的小男孩的形象栩栩如生地復(fù)現(xiàn)在讀者腦海中。有過(guò)程。記敘文中在描寫(xiě)人物個(gè)性的動(dòng)作時(shí)，如果我們蜻蜒點(diǎn)水、一筆帶過(guò)，就很難突出人物形象，也很難給人以深刻的印象。而應(yīng)按照順序描寫(xiě)一連串動(dòng)作過(guò)程，既要把人物做事情的過(guò)程寫(xiě)清楚又要把人物活動(dòng)的步驟寫(xiě)具體，這樣才能夠使得人物形象鮮明，文章層次清楚。試比較下面兩句(1)Shewenttocatchthebutterfly.(2)Shecreptalongthepath,bentoverswiftlyandcuppedherhandsaroundthebutterflygently.【分析】句(1)在描寫(xiě)主人公捕捉蝴蝶的動(dòng)作時(shí)，沒(méi)有細(xì)節(jié)的動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)，因此顯得很平淡而句(2)運(yùn)用了creep，bend，cup三個(gè)連貫的動(dòng)詞生動(dòng)具體地描述了主人公小心翼翼捕捉蝴蝶的微妙過(guò)程，具有極強(qiáng)的畫(huà)面感。因此，在續(xù)寫(xiě)過(guò)程中，在必要的地方恰當(dāng)使用一連串的動(dòng)詞來(lái)表示過(guò)程，能為文章增添不少色彩。3.借修辭。當(dāng)?shù)男揶o手法(比喻、擬人·夸張等)來(lái)幫助描寫(xiě)動(dòng)作，讓動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)變得更有表現(xiàn)力。比較以下幾組句子(1)Theoldman'sfacewrinkled.(2)Theoldman'sfacewaslikeawitheredapple.(比喻)Mystomachwasachingfornoteatingontime.Mystomachwaspunishingmefornoteatingontime.(擬人)(1)Whensheheardthebadnews,shecried.(2)Whensheheardthebadnews,ariveroftearspouredout.(夸張)【分析】上面每組中的(2)句分別使用了比喻、擬人、夸張的修辭手法，使得動(dòng)作的描述更加生動(dòng)形象，更加吸引眼球。富節(jié)奏。動(dòng)詞按其意義可分為靜態(tài)動(dòng)詞和動(dòng)態(tài)動(dòng)詞。動(dòng)態(tài)動(dòng)詞可以生動(dòng)展現(xiàn)人或事物的運(yùn)動(dòng)狀態(tài)，讓原本靜止的畫(huà)面像放電影一樣，吸引讀者投人故事中感受人物的情緒和內(nèi)心，使用富有節(jié)奏變化的動(dòng)詞可以推動(dòng)波瀾起伏的故事情節(jié)從而更加直觀地表現(xiàn)主題。比較以下幾組句子Unpackingthebox,therewasadelicatenecklaceinside.打開(kāi)盒子，里面有一條精美的項(xiàng)鏈.(2)Iunpackedthebox,adelicatewatchinsidewasinsightandmyjawdropped.f尹盒子，看到里面有一條精美的項(xiàng)鏈，我的下巴都掉下來(lái)了。【分析】句(1)中was是靜態(tài)動(dòng)詞，無(wú)法凸顯“驚喜”生日派對(duì)的主題，而句(2)中的dropped就是動(dòng)態(tài)動(dòng)詞，形容非常吃驚的狀況。(1)Thereisabrokencarontheroad.路上有一輛破車(chē)。(2)Thecarwentoutofcontrolandcrashedintoawall這輛車(chē)失控了，撞到了墻上?！痉治觥總€(gè)句(1)中的is是一個(gè)靜態(tài)動(dòng)詞而句(2)改用crashinto之后，能夠凸顯出事故發(fā)生的過(guò)程，讓讀者感受到事故的嚴(yán)重性，加深主題意義.文本分析：五要素：WhenAfteranexhaustingday,inClass2,Grade8in2001，OnedayWhereinthestreet,intheclassroomWhoJack,MarkWhatJackcameacrossMarkyearslaterbutMarkseemednottorememberWhyHetookchargeofJack'sclassforonlyoneday挖掘原文中的人物情感：1.Afteranexhaustingday,Jackwanderedh.street.smilingwhilethinkingofhisstudents.Jackwasrespectableandconsiderateteacherwhilehisstudentstookgoodcareofhim,too.可以作為續(xù)寫(xiě)伏筆，暗指Mark也會(huì)成為一位體貼受學(xué)生愛(ài)戴的老師。伏筆指將上文看似無(wú)關(guān)緊要的人物或事件作為在續(xù)寫(xiě)下文時(shí)可能出現(xiàn)的人物或事件的預(yù)先提示或暗示，目的效果。的達(dá)到“前有伏筆，后有照應(yīng)了。2.“Well,infact,youonlytookchargeofourclassforonlyoneday,andsomethinghappenedthatday.Ibecameateacherbecauseofyourinspiration.”TheoldMark,curious,keptraisingquestionssuchaswhentheymet,howhehadinspiredhimtobeateacher,andsoon.暗示下文Mark一定做了讓Jack深深觸動(dòng)的事情，觸動(dòng)Jack也決心作“Well,infact,y一名體貼受學(xué)生愛(ài)戴的老師。鋪墊指故事高潮的前奏，如環(huán)境描寫(xiě)、對(duì)話描述等，推動(dòng)主要人物主要內(nèi)容的展示，幫助制造懸念和矛盾沖突。Hearingthewords,Markwaspuzzledbutalsodelighted,askingaseriesofquestions.“Whycan'tIrememberyou?showingJack'sloveandrespecttohisteacher.故事感情線索：thrill,enthusiasticallydelightedNotdisappointed;brilliant;puzzledbutalsodelighteddisappointed,nervous,anxious,scared故事情節(jié)線索：JackcameacrossMark.Markdidn'trememberJackatall.JacksaidthathebecameateacherbecauseofMike'sinspirationJackrecalledMarkhowheinspiredhim.分析續(xù)寫(xiě)段首，確定續(xù)寫(xiě)方向根據(jù)段首句1(Then,Markclosedthedoorandtoldallstudentstogetup.然后，馬克關(guān)上門(mén)，讓所有的學(xué)生起來(lái)。)及時(shí)間線索詞Then可設(shè)問(wèn)如下:1)Whichwordsorphrasesshouldbefocusedon?(closedthedoor,getup)2HowdidMarksearchforthewatch?3)Whatwereallstudentsfeelingandreaction?4)WhatwasJack'sfeelingandreaction?根據(jù)段首句2(ButMarkkeptsearchingeveryone'spockets.但是馬克一直在搜查每個(gè)人的口袋。)，并結(jié)合上段內(nèi)容可知，本段要續(xù)寫(xiě)的應(yīng)該是老師完成搜查并宣布了結(jié)果，可設(shè)想以下問(wèn)題:Whichwordsorphrasesshouldbefocusedon?(keptsearching,pockets.DidMarkfindthelostwatch?WhatdidMarkdoafterfindingoutthewatch?WhatdidJackdofinally?借助文本資源，創(chuàng)設(shè)續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)根據(jù)已知人物、事件及續(xù)寫(xiě)段落首句預(yù)測(cè)故事總體的發(fā)展Paragraph1:[開(kāi)端]馬克讓所有的學(xué)生起來(lái)。[故事發(fā)展]→不情愿地站了起來(lái)。「高潮]杰克感到絕望和恐慌!馬克似乎看透了杰克一馬克什么也沒(méi)說(shuō)，讓他安靜地坐下來(lái)。Paragraph2:[結(jié)局]完成了他的檢查→杰克感到很羞愧他決定把手表還給馬克→馬克稱(chēng)贊他勇敢承認(rèn)錯(cuò)誤→杰克下定決心成為像Mark一樣受人尊敬、體貼的老師【感悟]教書(shū)是一項(xiàng)很有意義的工作。參考范文：Then,Markclosedthedoorandtoldallstudentstogetup.They,includingJack,wereveryconfusedandreluctantlystoodup.Markstoodontheplatformandsaidseriously,"Sincenoonehandedmethewatch,I'vedecidedtocheckyourpocketsonebyone."YoucanwaitformetocheckbeforesittingdownAfterhearingthesewords,Jack'semotionswereveryplicated.Nowthewatchisinhispocket!SeeingMarkreachingouttoeveryone'spockets,despairandpanicsweptthroughJacklikefiercewaves.Hewastooscaredtolookattheteacher,butMarkseemedtoseethroughhim.ToJack'ssurprise,Markdidn'tsayanythingandaskedhimtositdownquietly.Jackthoughtthesearchendedhere.ButMarkkeptsearchingeveryone'spockets.Aftera