2024屆高考英語一輪復(fù)習(xí)讀后續(xù)寫三大問題課件

2024高考一輪復(fù)習(xí)讀后續(xù)寫三大問題BalletwasawayoflifeinKelly'sfamily.HereldersisterSerenawasnowdancingatatopcollege.ThoughKelly'smomalwayswantedhertofollowinhersister'sfootstepsandKellyherselfwasgoodatballet,herloveforballethadfadedyearsbefore,andshewaseagerforanewchallenge.Onedayatschool,asKellyleftthedancestudio,shewalkedpastthegym,fascinatedbyboxers(拳擊手)traininginsidetheboxingring.Shewasdeeplyimpressedbyhowhardtheyhitandhowfasttheymoved.Infact,she'dlongbeenattractedtoboxing.Shepulledapieceofpaperfromherbackpack.OnthefamiliarOakwoodHighSchoolClubSign-upSheetwasthephrase:BOXINGCLUBTRYOUT(選拔).ThatwaswhatKellyreallywantedtodo.Sheknewhermomhadhighexpectationsforherwhenitcametoballet.Tiredoftryingtokeepupwithhersister,Kellywasreadytocarveherownpath.Thenextday,shegatheredhercourageandtoldSerenaabouthernewpassion.Atfirst,Serenadidn'tunderstandandthoughtshewasjustjoking.ButwhenshesawKellywasserious,shereplied,"YouknowMomwantsyoutobeaballetdancer,right?Besides,boxingisonlyforboys,andyou'resogoodatballet.Leanintoyourstrength,Kelly.""ButthisiswhereIwanttoputmystrength,"Kellyinsisted,"andwhatexactlydoes'onlyforboys'mean,anyway?Boxingisasportforeveryone!"Gradually,touchedbyherdeterminationandpassion,Serenabegantounderstandandsupporther.Kellycouldfeelit.Hersisterwasgoingtorespectherdecision,nomatterwhat.Butthatwasnothingcomparedtothepreparationsforthetryout,whereshewasrequiredtoshowherfootworkandpunching(擊打)abilitieswithothercandidates.Boxingdidn'tcomenaturaltoKelly,butshehadmadeuphermindtostickwithherchoice.Para1ThenKellybeganhertrainingforthetryout,keepingitasecretfromhermom.Para2ThefollowingMonday,resultsoftheboxingtryoutwereposted.問題一：把握不住續(xù)寫劇情，寫作沒有線索。尤其第二段寫不出劇情，或者只能寫一大段感悟。續(xù)寫考的是一個故事，情節(jié)是第一需要抓住的重點。再華麗的句子那叫錦上添花。拿到一篇范文，第一反應(yīng)不應(yīng)該是背誦華麗的辭藻，而是先分析他的情節(jié)是怎么一步一步發(fā)展來的，他的邏輯銜接是怎么樣的（也就是行文思路）。基本方法：續(xù)寫第一段構(gòu)思情節(jié)的起承轉(zhuǎn)合:第一句：通過將自己定位成某個人，根據(jù)這個心情去推理接下來的劇情(起)第二句：另一個角色對于這個反應(yīng)做出的回應(yīng)(承)第三句：往第二段劇情開始靠，進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)場(或者轉(zhuǎn)折)①通過邏輯，轉(zhuǎn)換到下一個場景(However、somethingchanged等等)②對上文的一個總體性評價(等于完結(jié)了一件事。就可以講下一件事了)③繼續(xù)寫另一個人的反應(yīng)以上面例題為例，第一段可以怎么寫？第一句：通過將自己定位成某個人，根據(jù)這個心情去推理接下來的劇情(起)第二句：另一個角色對于這個反應(yīng)做出的回應(yīng)(承)第三句：往第二段劇情開始靠，進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)場(或者轉(zhuǎn)折)第四句：往第二段劇情開始靠，進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)場(或者轉(zhuǎn)折)下定決心通過選拔（心情），Kelly揮汗如雨在訓(xùn)練拳擊（也許會受傷）姐姐Serena看到后，受打動（心情）一直在幫助支持妹妹（請教練，陪伴）被姐姐鼓勵著（心情），Kelly練得怎么樣？（對上文一個小總結(jié)）（通過邏輯，轉(zhuǎn)換到下一個場景轉(zhuǎn)場），描寫選拔當(dāng)天表現(xiàn)怎樣問題二：第二段的升華，拿不準(zhǔn)，升不對，或者硬背名人名言。①這篇文章的升華可以是什么？Tiredoftryingtokeepupwithhersister,Kellywasreadytocarveherownpath.YouknowMomwantsyoutobeaballetdancer,right?Besides,boxingisonlyforboys,andyou'resogoodatballet.Leanintoyourstrength,Kelly."1.堅持自己的夢想2.打破偏見和質(zhì)疑②不同的升華，第一段的情節(jié)會是一樣的嗎?當(dāng)然不是，情節(jié)是為主題服務(wù)的。如果是升華1，我們可能會寫如果是升華2，我們也能會寫她揮汗如雨在訓(xùn)練拳擊，受到挫折（受傷等）也不退縮她走進(jìn)訓(xùn)練場，發(fā)現(xiàn)只有她一個女孩，其他選擇選手的嘲笑和輕視等如果挑選升華2，第一段的情節(jié)會調(diào)整成？第一句：想證明shecouldexcelinasportthatwasnottraditionallyassociatedwithgirls(心情)，她于是非常努力第二句：訓(xùn)練場的男孩，看不起一個新手姑娘（心情），嘲笑她第三句：盡管被輕視（心情），Kelly練得怎么樣？（對上文一個小總結(jié)）第四句：轉(zhuǎn)場，描寫選拔當(dāng)天表現(xiàn)怎樣綜合問題一和問題二，讀后續(xù)寫文章的合理劇情怎么找？1.讀原文，確定怎么升華（文章主題），從而可推出與主題相關(guān)的情節(jié)2.根據(jù)起承轉(zhuǎn)合基本方法，構(gòu)思第一段完整的情節(jié)3.第二段前半部分情節(jié)（升華之前）可以重復(fù)起承轉(zhuǎn)合基本方法。Para2ThefollowingMonday,resultsoftheboxingtryoutwereposted.第一句：很緊張忐忑，Kelly看到自己的名字在名單上。太開心了，就蹦了起來跳了起來第二句：姐姐也看到了，激動地?fù)肀elly，說…第三句：媽媽得知此事后，會….第四局：升華

Para2:1.Extremelynervousandexpectant,Kellycautiouslyscannedthesheet,eventuallycatchingsightofhernameattopofthelist.Withspringingtoherfeetimmediately,thediligentgirlletoutaloudscream.2.Havingspottedthescenebyherside,Serenahuggedhertightlywiththeproudsparkleradiatingintheeyes.“Nowlet'sgototellourmumallthestory.”sheadded.3.Aftergettinghome,thoughhermomwasinitiallyhesitantabouthernewpursuit,shepreferredtofeelproudtoseeherdaughtergrowupwithfulfillmentandhappiness.4.Actually,forKelly,therealrewardwasnotaposition/placeasaboxer(加入試訓(xùn)隊)butanopportunitytoprovetoeveryonethatshecouldcarveherownpathwithefforts，loveandsupport.問題三：續(xù)寫動作描寫，心理描寫到底該怎么寫，怎么寫長，怎么寫具體。首先明白一個立場，心理描寫的具體一定是建立在能夠促進(jìn)突出主線劇情的前提下的，是否能為主線服務(wù)。比如，下面三句心理描寫，哪一個最好？①Seizedbyasurgeofsadness,shecouldn’thelpcryingbitterly②Uponhearingthebadnews,shefeltseizedbyasurgeofsadnessandcouldn’thelpcryingbitterly.③Uponhearingthebadnews,althoughtearswasrollingdownhercheeks,shestillrushedto....每篇文章150詞，每段7，80詞左右，你要花將近20個詞，寫一個心情或環(huán)境的描寫，那你必定會壓縮寫故事情節(jié)的句子。①Hestoodinsilence,tearsofgrievancespringingupinhischeeks.②Withtearsofgrievancespringingupinhischeeks，hestoodinsilence,resolvingtodo....whichmade.....（心情只是主人公做某一各動作的原因，是動作的陪襯）所以，好的心情描寫應(yīng)該是心情+心情產(chǎn)生的動作+主線劇情那動作描寫呢？一個字，拆！把一個動作拆成一個動作鏈(A，BandC)。比如一個上出租車的動作hegotintothecar拆成：攔下車，上車，告訴司機(jī)目的地。Hehailedataxi,gotintoitandtoldthedriverheraddress.再比如，hethrewthemeatatthewolf寫成hepulledoutthemeat,aimedatthewolfandthrewitstraighttothefierceanimal.或者用上havingdone句型，Havingpulledoutthemeat,heaimedatthewolfandthrewitstraighttothefierceanimal.這是單一動作描寫，那如何構(gòu)成動作面？可以進(jìn)一步加上肢體和面部的細(xì)節(jié)描寫?；蛘邔懗鲂睦?心情的原因+完整的動作鏈。1.Althoughtensionsweptoverme,afreshman,Itriedmybesttostaycalmandhandedoutplatesoffoodtothoseinneed,withmyhandstrembling.2.Althoughtensionsweptoverme(情緒)whowasafreshman，Itriedmybest(動作1)tostaycalmandhandoutplatesoffoodtothoseinneed(動作2),myhandsshaking.(肢體細(xì)節(jié))注意：并不是高級詞匯的堆疊才能拿高分，但是表達(dá)有效且具體，劇情流暢連貫自然，邏輯自洽，且扣題，句式不要太單一。干貨小技巧：①高三要用到的高級詞匯或表達(dá)替換say,believe,think--------figure,holdtheviewthat,assumethat,Iamconvincedthatimprove------promote，enhance,strengthennevergiveup--------sticktoit,insistondoing，persistin,adheretoshould---------besupposedtodo，Itiswise/sensible/makessensetodo，nothingcouldbebetterthan.It'sworthwhiletodo，deservedoing,finditrewardingandenjoyabletodo...Like--------haveapassionfor,befondof,fallinlovewith，haveanaffectionforCome------approach,aroundthecorner,up-comingMake------enable,allowThank------appreciate,begratefulto,conveymyheartfeltthanktosb,Help-------dosb.afavor,go/cometoone'said,withtheassistanceof，givesb.anaidUse-----gainaccessto,beaccessibletomoreandmorepopular---increasinglypopularbig----enormous，tremendousvery-----extremely,remarkably,overwhelmingly,pretty,perfectlyfamous-----accomplished,haveahighreputation，distinguishedgood-----amazing,unbelievable,incrediblebad----disgusting,awful,terribleimportant----significant,vital,essential,fundamental,crucialallkindsof-----avarietyof,various，diverseabout------concerning,relevant,related②一.避免主語重復(fù)1.主語同義替換Jack----Theadjboy----He2.主語并不一定是人或者詞匯(主語從句)Iwanttodosomething------WhatIwanttodoisdoingHelikesplayingbasketball------WhathelikesisplayingHelpingmyparentswithsomehouseworkenhancestherelationship(加強(qiáng)關(guān)系)betweenmyfamilymembers.Whatenhancestherelationship(加強(qiáng)關(guān)系)betweenmyfamilymembersishelpingmyparentswithsomehousework二.將句子寫長1.加各種定語從句Jacklikesplayingbasketball主語位置加定語JackwhoisahandsomeboylikesplayingbasketballJackwhoisahandsomeboylikesplayingbasketball,whichrelaxeshimverymuch2.加同位語Jack,ahandsomeboy,likesplayingbasketball4.加非謂語動詞Idecidetohelpmyparentswithsomehouseworktorelease/ease/lessen/reducetheirpressure.Idecidetohelpmyparentswithsomehouseworktorelease/ease/lessen/reducetheirpressure，whichIthinkisofbenefittoenhancetherelationshipbetweenmyfamily③讀后續(xù)寫最常見錯誤表達(dá)。以下是錯誤寫法:1.Hearingthenews,awaveoffrustrationrushedoverme.2.Ashamedandguilty,tearswerestreamingdownmycheeks.3.Tomysurprised,mymomdidn'tblameme.4.Iwa