【讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)】2021年11月高三9加1聯(lián)盟期中讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)講評(píng)：Egg Drop Soup 名師教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)-宋浩穎、李曉燕

年11月高三9+1聯(lián)盟讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)EggDropSoup教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)作者：浙江省慈溪中學(xué)宋浩穎李曉燕本文屬于“人與社會(huì)”主題-“社會(huì)服務(wù)與人際溝通”主題語(yǔ)境下的“良好的人際關(guān)系與社會(huì)交往”。同時(shí)也反映了作者生活與學(xué)習(xí)，做人與做事的情況。本文趣味性強(qiáng)，語(yǔ)言活潑生動(dòng)，與2021年1月的高考續(xù)寫(xiě)作文“頭被卡在南瓜里”的風(fēng)格比較相似。本課件針對(duì)續(xù)寫(xiě)給出的文本，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生進(jìn)行精讀，并指出合理的續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)和統(tǒng)一的語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格建立在精準(zhǔn)閱讀理解原文的基礎(chǔ)上。首先指導(dǎo)學(xué)生分析故事的要素，為合理創(chuàng)設(shè)續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)鋪路。語(yǔ)言方面，結(jié)合情節(jié)推斷部分的分析分別從

“比賽”和“緊張感”兩方面給出了從動(dòng)作到情感的相關(guān)素材，供同學(xué)們參考使用，并進(jìn)行有意識(shí)地積累。

希望通過(guò)本次作文講評(píng)，學(xué)生能進(jìn)一步熟悉故事的各要素，能基于主題和段首句合理推斷情節(jié)，能加強(qiáng)素材分類(lèi)積累意識(shí)并進(jìn)行模仿和遷移，提高語(yǔ)言綜合運(yùn)用能力。本節(jié)課主要分為四個(gè)環(huán)節(jié)：1）語(yǔ)篇解讀：深入解讀語(yǔ)篇，分析故事背景及人物性格，為續(xù)寫(xiě)做好鋪墊。2）情節(jié)預(yù)測(cè)：通過(guò)關(guān)鍵詞和給出的首句預(yù)測(cè)故事發(fā)展，合理設(shè)置情節(jié)。3）話(huà)題語(yǔ)言積累：學(xué)習(xí)比賽相關(guān)語(yǔ)言表達(dá)，賞析積累語(yǔ)料。4）范文及高分作文欣賞：賞析范文和高分作文，品味語(yǔ)言的運(yùn)用和情節(jié)的構(gòu)思。教學(xué)步驟：1）深入解讀語(yǔ)篇，Activity1:readthetextandfindoutthebasicinformationofthestory.找出故事基本信息(who,when,where,what)Activity2:analyzethedifferentstagesofthestory.分析故事不同發(fā)展階段，使學(xué)生了解故事走向，為續(xù)寫(xiě)文本情節(jié)設(shè)置做好鋪墊。Activity3:analyzethetraitsofthemaincharacters.引導(dǎo)學(xué)生通過(guò)動(dòng)作、語(yǔ)言等分析主要角色的性格特質(zhì)，為續(xù)寫(xiě)文本的人物描寫(xiě)做好鋪墊Activity4:analyzehowthemaincharactersfeelindifferentstages.分析主要角色在不同故事發(fā)展階段的情感變化，為續(xù)寫(xiě)段落中兩人的情感做好鋪墊。Activity5:appreciatethelanguageofthetext.本篇續(xù)寫(xiě)文本基本保留了原文文本，語(yǔ)言生動(dòng)活潑，非常地道，學(xué)生可以從原文中學(xué)習(xí)如何使用動(dòng)詞使文字更加生動(dòng)，以及如何使用明喻的修辭手法使語(yǔ)言更加豐富。引導(dǎo)學(xué)生關(guān)注原文修辭和語(yǔ)言，啟發(fā)學(xué)生盡可能做到文氣連貫。Activity6:analyzethethemeofthestory.引導(dǎo)學(xué)生建立主題意識(shí)，關(guān)注原文文本給出的線(xiàn)索與伏筆，確立本篇故事主題為友誼。2）情節(jié)預(yù)測(cè) Activity1:dividethekeywordsintodifferentgroups 引導(dǎo)學(xué)生進(jìn)行關(guān)鍵詞分類(lèi)，并通過(guò)關(guān)鍵詞預(yù)測(cè)故事走向，確定故事主題。 Activity2:readthebeginningsentencesofthe2paragraphsandthinkaboutquestionstoask. 仔細(xì)閱讀給出的兩個(gè)首句，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生針對(duì)給出的句子提問(wèn)，思考每段的主要情節(jié)設(shè)置和寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容。3）話(huà)題語(yǔ)言積累 Activity1:howtodescribeagame? Activity2:howtodescribenervousness? 本篇續(xù)寫(xiě)主要涉及話(huà)題為比賽，此處呈現(xiàn)比賽相關(guān)的描寫(xiě)（比賽開(kāi)始，競(jìng)爭(zhēng)激烈，觀(guān)眾反應(yīng)等），并結(jié)合eggdropchallenge比賽呈現(xiàn)參賽者出現(xiàn)的緊張情緒表達(dá)。4）范文及高分作文賞析Activity1:readandappreciatedifferentversions.呈現(xiàn)范文以及多篇高分作文，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生分析文本的結(jié)構(gòu)與語(yǔ)言表達(dá)，啟發(fā)學(xué)生思維。原文本“OK,everybody.It'sthattimeofyear,”saidmyscienceteacher,Mr.Beal.“ThisFridaywe'llhavetheannualEggDropChallenge.”Acoupleofmyclassmatesgroaned,butnoonewasatallsurprised.Mr.Beal'sfifth-gradeEggDropChallengewasaninstitutionatmyschool.ThegoaloftheChallengewassimple-youhadtobuildaprotectivecontainertokeepaneggfrombreakingwhendroppedoverthestadiumwall.“BringyourcontainerstoclassonFriday,”Mr.Bealsaid.“Bytheway,thisyearwe'regoingtotrysomethingdifferent.Youcanworkaloneorwithapartner.”Mybestfriend,Cassie,andIgrinnedateachother.Wealwaysworkedonprojectstogether.She'sbrainy;I'mcreative.We'retheperfectcombination,likepeanutbutterandmarshmallowcream.(Whichhappenstobemyfavoritekindofsandwich.)ImademyfavoritesandwichthatafternoonwhilewaitingforCassietocomeoverandworkonthecontainer.Spreadingthefluffymarshmallowcreamgavemeanidea.“Ihaveabrilliantdesignforoureggcontainer!”IsaidwhenCassiearrived.“What?”Cassieaskedeagerly.“Wecancushionitwithsomemarshmallowcream.”“Huh?”“Youknow,toabsorbtheshockoftheimpact,”Iexplained.“You'vegottobekidding,Laura.”“Youhaveabetteridea?”Cassiepointedtoasketchinhernotebook.“Actually,Ido.Weputtheegginabasketwithparachuteattached.Itwillsimplyfloattosafety.”“It'stooeasyforsomethingtogowrong.Itwillneverwork!”Isaid.“Andmarshmallowcreamwill?”Cassierolledhereyes.“Theparachuteisbetterthanthatstupididea.”Icouldn'tbelieveit.Ofcoursewe’dhadourlittlefightsinthepast,butthiswasdifferent.She'dnevercalledanyofmyideas“stupid”before.“Oh,yeah?”Isaid.“Yeah!”“ThenI'llbuildmineandyoubuildyours,andwe'lljustseewhoseisbetter.”“Fine!”Cassieshovedhernotebookintoherbackpackandstormedout.Andjustlikethat,ourfriendshipwassmashed.Likeaneggdroppedfromthetopofastadiumwithoutmarshmallowcreamtoprotectit.WhenFridayfinallyrolledaround,IhadtoadmitthatCassie'sEggForceOnelookedprettygood.Shehadusedahandkerchieftocreateasmallparachute.ItwastiedtoabasketthatheldStyrofoampackingpeanutsand,inthecenterofitall,heregg.MyEgg-cellentEggCreamdidn'tlookquitesoscientific.Ihadlinedthesidesandbottomofasmallboxwithricecakes.ThenI’daddedalayerofmarshmallowcream,theegg,andalayerofJell-O.Thisishowthecompetitionworked:Allthestudentsinmyclasscarriedtheireggcontainersupthreestadiumstepsanddroppedthemoverthesidewall.Ifyoureggbroke,youwereout.Iftheeggsurvived,youhadtowalkupthreemorestepsanddropitagain.Thiswentonuntilthelasteggbroke.Bythefourthlaunch,onlyCassieandIwereleft.“OK,”Mr.Bealyelled.“Let’emgoonthecountofthree.”“Goodluck,Laura,”Cassiesaid,turningtome.“You'regoingtoneedit.”Ididn'trespond.Ifiguredwinningwouldbesweeterrevenge.Theclasscalled,“One,two,three!”Iletgoofmybox.“Ew,”Iheardsomeonesayafteraminute.Hadmyeggbroken?Iraceddownthesteps,tryingtogettothebottombeforeCassiedid.Thesidewalkwasalreadydottedwitheggshellsfrompreviousfaileddrops.IfinallyfoundmybravelittleEgg-cellentEggCream.Ididn'tevenhavetoopentheboxtoseetheresults.YolkandeggwhitemixedwithyellowJell-Oseepedfromthecorner.“Thatlookslikeeggdropsoup,Laura,”Cassiesaid.ShewasholdingherEggForceOne.Myheartraced.Hadshewon?Ilookedatherbasket.Empty.“Myeggbouncedout,”sheexplained,pointingtoabrokenshellinthegrass.“Iguessthepilothadanegg-jectorseat,”Ioffered.Cassielookedatme,andherglaresoftened.Icouldseeitinthecornersofhereyes.Shewastryingnottosmile.Igrinned.Shegiggled.“Egg-jectorseat,”shesaid.“Eggdropsoup,”Isa