英語(yǔ)搞笑話劇——三顧茅廬(共8頁(yè))

1、精選優(yōu)質(zhì)文檔-傾情為你奉上Three visits to the cottage主要人物：諸葛亮、諸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、劉備、關(guān)羽、張飛、旁白（同時(shí)操作電腦）旁白：Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顧茅廬） is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novelsthe Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, pol

2、itician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actorsLiubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's  thatched cottage three times  and  wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothersLiubei

3、, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. Now，lets go into the story.第一幕屋子中，諸葛亮在屋里走著，諸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，豬不亮掃地，送水（營(yíng)養(yǎng)快線）三兄弟上場(chǎng)，關(guān)羽（頭巾），劉備（墨鏡），張飛（不停打嗝）劉：飯后一支煙，賽過(guò)活神仙A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，張飛點(diǎn)煙，劉深吸一口，長(zhǎng)舒一口氣）劉：嗯？沒(méi)點(diǎn)著En? It dosent burn on.張飛：

4、湊合著吧，老師不讓抽煙Sorry，we can only has this.We cant smoke in the classroom!關(guān)羽：此番前來(lái)，定要邀請(qǐng)的臥龍先生We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang!張飛：必須的，老曹太欺負(fù)人了Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much.三人來(lái)到門(mén)前，石頭剪子布劉備：According to our custom？關(guān)羽：OK.張飛：No problem.劉備三人進(jìn)行石頭剪子布，劉備輸了，其余兩人把劉備推到前面。劉備作出一幅英勇就義的姿態(tài)，（上海灘響起）劉備作按門(mén)鈴狀，（門(mén)鈴聲響起）。諸葛亮：Bu lia

5、ng（不亮）, go to open the door.仆人：Heng!(哼)仆人板著個(gè)臉到了門(mén)口，做了一個(gè)甩頭的動(dòng)作，并呼啦呼啦頭發(fā)，然后深呼吸，放平穩(wěn)，保持微笑。然后打開(kāi)門(mén)，舉了個(gè)躬。仆人：(發(fā)音a ni ha sai yao，中文意思：你好)劉備：Can you speak English?關(guān)羽：（緊接著劉備）Can you speak Chinese?張飛：（緊接著）Can you speak Japanese?劉備：（緊接著）Spanish?關(guān)羽：（緊接著）Congolese?張飛：（緊接著）Egyptian?仆人：（緊接著）Shut up! Who are you people?劉

6、備：(擺個(gè)pose)Im Liubei.關(guān)羽：(也擺個(gè)pose)Im Guanyu.張飛：(同樣擺個(gè)pose，把關(guān)羽碰倒了)Im Sorry.劉備三人趕緊把仆人扶起來(lái)。豬不亮：你們?cè)趺磥?lái)的啊What do you three take to come here?張飛：騎馬來(lái)的啊，做騎馬狀Riding a horse ,of course.豬不亮：那你們?cè)趺打T馬來(lái)的??？So,How do you riding a horse?三人面面相覷，豬不亮關(guān)門(mén)劉備突然明白了，“money！”張飛關(guān)羽聳肩都沒(méi)帶錢(qián)，下臺(tái)第二幕三兄弟上臺(tái)，張飛關(guān)羽手提禮品關(guān)羽猥瑣的說(shuō):這次應(yīng)該可以了吧，上次也怨我們I thin

7、k well manage it this time.張飛：啥啊，如果你不是拉著我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮狀，老虎聲音）What? If you dont pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat!劉備：行了，行了，我們來(lái)干啥來(lái)了稍息。立正。（張飛關(guān)羽照做）Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!Attention!劉備：都給我機(jī)靈點(diǎn)（張飛關(guān)羽點(diǎn)頭答應(yīng)）You three! Be clever this time!屋子中（英文歌，諸葛亮和豬不亮正喝酒，豬不亮哼著英語(yǔ)歌，他兩個(gè)喝醉了）諸

8、葛亮：MYGOD！上天你為什么這么懲罰我My God! Why do you punish me?!豬不亮：老大別難過(guò)，班長(zhǎng)楊超不也沒(méi)過(guò)嗎Dont be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor doest pass the examination.諸葛亮：我的四級(jí)考試啊，開(kāi)始哭What？our monitor doest pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed···（換背景音樂(lè)，豬不亮跟著哭，門(mén)鈴響，豬不亮醉醺醺的搖搖晃晃去開(kāi)門(mén)）豬不亮：誰(shuí)啊Whos this

9、?張飛：收水費(fèi)的I come here to charge the bill of electricity（開(kāi)門(mén)，三人一臉嬉笑）劉備：我們又來(lái)了，麻煩小弟通報(bào)一下We are here again,bother to notice your boss. （豬不亮四下環(huán)顧，把禮品接過(guò)來(lái)了）（屋子里傳來(lái)悲傷的氣息，張飛和關(guān)羽抹眼淚）張飛：怎么突然一陣感傷涌上心頭（自言自語(yǔ)）I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart.關(guān)羽：請(qǐng)問(wèn)臥龍先生在家嗎，我們想見(jiàn)一下（SEE）Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk w

10、ith him ,please.豬不亮：吟詩(shī)，見(jiàn)與不見(jiàn)。（你見(jiàn)，或者不見(jiàn)我Its doesnt matter if you see me or not我就在那里I am standing right there不悲不喜With no emotion你念，或者不念我Its doesnt matter if you miss me or not情就在那里The feeling is right there不來(lái)不去And it isnt going anywhere你愛(ài)或者不愛(ài)我Its doesnt matter）（豬不亮轉(zhuǎn)身關(guān)門(mén)，站不穩(wěn)）劉：What?！張飛：是不是家里死人了，下次再來(lái)吧Im af

11、raid some-one important of him died here.Lets go. Maybe we should come next time.關(guān)羽：希望死的不是諸葛亮Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang doest die（關(guān)羽，劉備打張飛，下臺(tái)。）第三幕（諸葛亮和豬不亮玩三國(guó)殺，背景音樂(lè)，術(shù)語(yǔ)）（諸葛亮又贏了）豬不亮：老大你真NBYou are the man !諸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算過(guò)了年就去找劉備，找份工作Hum！Thats a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Beis corpo

12、ration to find a job after Spring Festival.豬不亮：你想去劉備那里？What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Beis company?諸葛亮：嗯，那里用不著英語(yǔ)En.Thats a good place in which I need not speak English.豬不亮：前幾天他來(lái)過(guò)了，讓我趕跑了But.uh, I drove him away a few days ago.門(mén)鈴響。豬不亮：說(shuō)來(lái)就來(lái)了Speak of the devil and he doth appear.（三兄弟，大跨步的走進(jìn)來(lái)，諸葛亮一見(jiàn)到很激動(dòng)）諸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（擁抱）你帶我走吧Boss! I ached for you so much, please help me!劉備：鎮(zhèn)定鎮(zhèn)定，既然兄弟這么看得起我，那咱們就一起大干一場(chǎng)吧Be calm. Since you trust me so much, lets go and do it! （出發(fā)。）諸葛亮：大哥等等，那。那，一月多少錢(qián)啊W