讀后續(xù)寫--心理描寫： 歸還手機--2022屆高考英語專訓.docx

1、讀后續(xù)寫一（南通一模續(xù)寫）心理描寫：歸還手機題目：閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。One afternoon after school, Mary and her brother, Keith, were eating at a cafe near their home. That afternoon, they had to share their table with another person. That person was a young lady in her twenties. A代er eating, she went to the

2、restroom. Without realizing, she had left her hand phone on the table. Five minutes later, she came out and walked out of the cafe without looking back.Mary saw the hand phone on the table. She quickly told Keith, "Keith, the girl left behind her hand phone.HKeith looked at the hand phone. It t

3、ook his breath away. It was one of the latest models on the market. Keith had always wanted a hand phone. But his parents had told him, "You donrt need one. You can always use the house phone.HHe stared at it for some minutes. Then he said slowly, pausing on every word, "I want to take the

4、 hand phone."Mary could not believe her ears. She merely stared at her brother. "You can't! What if the owner comes to look for it?"Having made the decision, Keith quickly grabbed the hand phone and put it in his schoolbag. Then, he took Mary's hand and led her out of the cafe

5、 quickly.Once back home, Keith locked his house door with trembling hands. Inside his room, he took out the piece of beauty. Oh, he liked it so much. Now he had his own hand phone. Soon, he was polishing it happily.But Mary told him, "Keith, you cannot keep the hand phone. What will you tell Fa

6、ther about this? He will ask you how you got the hand phone."Keith said quickly, “I will say a friend lent it to me."Mary said, "Now you are lying too." Oh dear! When had Keith turned so dishonest?Then Mary saw a house phone number on the plastic cover of the hand phone. "Th

7、is is the girl's phone number. Why don't we just call this number? We will talk to her and ask her to come and take back her hand phone.M She was trying to talk some sense into him.注意：1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右；2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。That night, Keith turned over in bed from time to time.Mary was very hap

8、py to hear that.指導：1. 文章的主題本文的主題是比較容易開出來的，即：誠實。剩下就是如何去體現(xiàn)主題。體現(xiàn)主題的句子：But Mary told him, "Keith, you cannot keep the hand phone. What will you tell Father about this? He will ask you how you got the hand phone.”Mary said, "Now you are lying too." Oh dear! When had Keith turned so dishone

9、st?2. 文章的語言本文的語言是很生動的，通過動作描寫和心里描寫展現(xiàn)了人物的特點，下面看神態(tài)描寫+語言描寫：He stared at it for some minutes. Then he said slowly, pausing on every word, Z,I want to take the hand phone."Mary could not believe her ears. She merely stared at her brother. "You can't! What if the owner comes to look for it?&q

10、uot;動作描寫：Once back home, Keith locked his house door with trembling hands. Inside his room, he took out the piece of beauty. Oh, he liked it so much. Now he had his own hand phone. Soon, he was polishing it happily.心里活動：Oh dear! When had Keith turned so dishonest?3. 物體線索Then Mary saw a house phone n

11、umber on the plastic cover of the hand phone.從以上我們可以得出：1. 心理描寫要通過自問或反問：Oh dear! When had Keith turned so dishonest?2. 內心的表達更多要通過動作：Keith locked his house door with trembling hands. Inside his room, he took out the piece of beauty.3. 內心的表達還要通過評注話語:Oh, he liked it so much. Oh dear! When had Keith turn

12、ed so dishonest?根據(jù)極簡寫作321原則推理情節(jié)：That night, Keith turned over in bed from time to time.銜接1 : Keith的思想斗爭過渡1 ：相通了。銜接2 : Keith找到Mary并告訴他的決定。Mary was very happy to hear that.銜接3 :兩人一起打電話給女主，說明情況。過渡2:歸還主題：感悟誠實的重要性。基于此，下水文如下：That night, Keith turned over in bed from time to time.He looked into the darknes

13、s and kept sighing, then covering his head with the pillow. It was difficult for him to return the new hand phone! Whenever he closed his eyes, it will appear in his mind. But how could he bear to think of the young lady heartbroken for her lost hand phone? When had he become a thief? Shame overcame

14、 him. Mary was right! The next morning, he found Mary. am going to phone the owner," he told Mary, stressing each word.Mary was very happy to hear that.They phoned the girl with her house phone number and got through. After being told about her hand phone, the girl expressed her gratitude repea

15、tedly. Even on the other end of the line, Keith could feel her excitement. Then the three met at the same cafe. Seeing the girl' s broad smile, Keith never felt more relieved. He was grateful that he resisted the evil temptation and stuck to being honest. (156 words)說明：第一段：本段主要是心里的糾結，我采用以下手段動作描寫

16、:He looked into the darkness and kept sighing, then covering his head with the pillow.心里評注：It was difficult for him to return the new hand phone!虛化夢 :Whenever he closed his eyes, it will appear in his mind.反問:But how could he bear to think of the young lady heartbroken for her lost hand phone? When

17、had he become a thief?直述:Shame overcame him.評注決定:Mary was right!其次語言描寫完全模仿原文的Keith所說：he told Mary, stressing each word.第二段：本段主要是思考如何用很簡潔的話串聯(lián)很多過程，我沒有描述電話過程，直接說打通電話后，交代 事情。因為重點在Keith看到自己的決定給她帶來的快樂以及他的慶幸。主題句的呈現(xiàn)我實際上是通過心里活動來轉述。原文答案：That night, Keith turned over in bed from time to time.He had difficulty

18、sleeping, uncertain about what he should do. Of course, he liked the new hand phone. However, he was feeling sorry for the owner. When he thought how sad the young lady would be at the loss of her hand phone, he was full of guilt and shame. The next morning, after a long and restless night, he was determin