高中英語學(xué)業(yè)水平考試

本文格式為Word版，下載可任意編輯——高中英語學(xué)業(yè)水平考試英語笑話高中水平的英語笑話大全英語笑話長篇高中高中英語笑話短文

冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現(xiàn)象，越來越受到大家的關(guān)注，尤其在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志、微博、電影上特別盛行。我共享高中水平的英語笑話，夢想可以扶助大家!

高中水平的英語笑話：CatholicDog

Muldoon,thefarmer,livedaloneinthecountrysidewithhispetdogofmanyyears.Eventually,hisdogdiedofoldage.Muldoonwenttotheparishpriest.

Father,mydearolddogisdead.Couldyoubesayingamassforthepoorcreature?

FatherPatrickreplied,Muldoon,Imsorrytohearofyourdogsdeath,butwecantbeholdingservicesforananimalinthechurch.However,theresanewdenominationdowntheroad,andmaybetheywoulddosomethingfortheanimal.

Muldoonsaid,Thankyou,Father.Doyouthink$500isenoughtodonatefortheservice?

TheFatherquicklyresponded,Son!WhydidntyoutellmethedogwasCatholic?!

高中水平的英語笑話：ThePope

ThepopereceivesacallfromFrankPerdueoneday.Franksaystothepope,HolyFather,IhaveagreatproposalIdlikeyoutoconsider.IwouldliketopaytheChurchonemilliondollarsinreturnforyouragreementtochangethewordsoftheOurFatherfrom:...giveusourdailybreadtogiveusourdailyCHICKEN.

Thepopesays,Frankthatisaninterestingoffer,butnothanks.

Mr.Perduecomesbackwith,OKhowabout10millionbucks?Thepopesays,ThatreallyisquiteanofferFrank,butImsorryIcantchangetheLordsPrayerthateasily!

Finally,thechickenexecutivesays,JohnPaul,youdriveahardbargain,myfinalofferis$100Milliondollarstochangetheprayertochicken.

Thepopereplies,Wow!Frank,Illhavetomeetwithmycardinalsandbishopsandthengetbacktoyouonthisoffer.

Thenextdaythepopecallsameetingofallthecardinalsandbishops.Asthemeetingcomestoorderhesays,Guys,Ihavereceivedquiteanoffer,wehaveachancetoget$100milliondollarswithwhichwecoulddoalotofgoodinthisworld.

However,thedownsideiswemaylosetheWonderBreadaccount.

高中水平的英語笑話：MarriedCouple

Ontheirwaytoajusticeofthepeacetogetmarried,acouplehadafatalcaraccident.ThecouplefoundthemselvessittingoutsideHeavensGatewaitingonSt.Petertodoanintake.Whilewaiting,theywonderediftheycouldpossiblygetmarriedinHeaven.

St.Peterfinallyshowedupandtheyaskedhim.St.Petersaid,Idontknow,thisisthefirsttimeanyonehasasked.Letmegofindout.andheleft.

Thecouplesatandwaitedforananswer...foracoupleofmonths...andtheybegantowonderiftheyreallyshouldgetmarriedinHeaven,whatwiththeeternalaspectofitall.Whatifitdoesntwork?theywondered,Arewestucktogetherforever?

St.Peterreturnedafteryetanothermonth,lookingsomewhatbedraggled.Yes,heinformedthecouple,youcangetmarriedinHeaven.

Great,saidthecouple,butwhatifthingsdontworkout?CouldwealsogetadivorceinHeaven?

St.Peter,red-faced,slammedhisclipboardontotheground.

Whatswrong?,askedthefrightenedcouple.

COMEON!St.Petershouted,Ittookmethreemonthstofindapriestuphere!Doyouhaveanyideahowlongitwilltakemetofindalawyer?

高中水平的英語笑話：WouldYouGiveUp?

Agolferisinacompetitivematchwithafriend,whoisaheadbyacoupleofstrokes.Thegolfersaystohimself:Idgiveanythingtosinkthisnextputt.

Astrangerwalksuptohimandwhispers:Wouldyougiveupafourthofyoursexlife?

Thegolferthinksthemaniscrazyandthathisanswerwillbemeaninglessbutalsothatperhapsthisisagoodomenandwillputhimintherightframeofmindtomakethedifficultputtandsays,OK.

Andsinkstheputt.

Twoholeslaterhemumblestohimself:Boy,ifIcouldonlygetaneagleonthishole.

Thesamestrangermovestohissideandsays,Woulditbeworthanotherfourthofyoursexlife?

Thegolfershrugsandsays,Sure.Andhemakesaneagle.

Downtothefinalhole.Thegolferneedsyetanothereagletowin.Thoughhesaysnothing,thestrangermovestohissideandsays,Wouldyoubewillingtogiveuptherestofyoursexlifetowinthismatch?

Thegolfersays,Certainly.Andmakestheeagle.

Asthegolferwalkstotheclubhouse,thestrangerwalksalongsideandsays,Youknow,IvereallynotbeenfairwithyoubecauseyoudontknowwhoIam.

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