英語動作鏈事跳動的心臟讀后續(xù)寫課件【核心知識備課精講精研】高三英語一輪復習

動作鏈動作鏈：故事躍動的心臟01動作鏈的概念1.概念

動作描寫是情節(jié)推進的重要工具，好比故事跳動的心臟。將一個動作分解成一步步的過程，就形成了連貫的“慢鏡頭描寫”。這就是動作鏈。2.形式：

①

動作A,動作Band動作C.【案例1】AsshecrossedtheopengroundinfrontoftheMoonandStarssheheardmenshouting,andsmelledthebeer,andhurriedalittle,thinkingherhusbandwasprobablyinthebar.【案例2】Thenshestraightenedthekitchen,litthelamp,mendedthefire,lookedoutthewashingforthenextday,andputittosoak.【解析】選自SonsandLovers第一章。案例1描述女主人公Mrs.Morel在集市中經(jīng)過酗酒丈夫常去的酒吧時，連續(xù)描述了四個動作hear/smell/hurry/think，使得這一場景連貫生動；案例2描述Mrs.Morel在等待丈夫歸來時候做家務(wù)的系列動作，營造隱忍苦悶的氛圍。②分詞A(done/doing/havingdone),動作Band動作C.【案例3】Thesuncameoutthroughthechinksofthevine-leavesandmadebeautifulpatterns,likealacescarf,fallingonherandonhim.【案例4】Thewomandroppedtheclothes,lookedatMrs.Morel,thenwnetonwithherwork,sayingnothing.【解析】選自SonsandLovers第一章。案例3描述了Mrs.Morel回憶少女時代與初戀情人坐在樹蔭下時的場景，通過太陽的動作描寫，展現(xiàn)出溫馨美好的氛圍；案例4描述了鄰居在面對Mrs.Morel拋出的問題時欲言又止。02動作鏈的功能功能一：調(diào)整節(jié)奏，烘托氛圍【案例3】Thesuncameoutthroughthechinksofthevine-leavesandmadebeautifulpatterns,likealacescarf,fallingonherandonhim.【解析】通過環(huán)境描寫中陽光的變化，描述出光纖穿過樹葉間隙，灑在地上的漂亮形狀，緩和了情節(jié)的前進。其中thesuncameout/madebeautifulpatterns預示著這是主人公生命中美好的一段時光，結(jié)合比喻，烘托出女主人公和她的情人芳心暗許的的美好氛圍。功能二：凸顯聚焦，襯托性格【案例5】“Oh--myboy!”shefaltered.Herlipstrembled,herfacebroke,and,snatchingupthechild,sheburiedherfaceinhisshoulderandcriedpainfully.【解析】選自SonsandLovers第一章。前文描寫了Mrs.Morel的丈夫，趁其不備時，將她引以為傲的大兒子漂亮的紳士般的頭發(fā)，剪掉了。此處Mrs.Morel看到兒子被剪得狗啃般的發(fā)型，又氣又惱，這一舉動襯托出Mrs.Morel作為沒落貴族之女的驕傲被現(xiàn)實擊垮后的無力和絕望。03動作描寫的問題動作描寫的問題①動詞使用籠統(tǒng)，缺乏動作連貫。②使用單個動態(tài)動作或靜態(tài)動作。③描述漫無目的，失去描寫作用。04動作鏈的寫作以22.12浙江Z20續(xù)寫為例

Cathy,mymom,whosepetphrase（口頭禪）was“Nevergiveup”,wasourfamily’sbeacon

ofpositivity.Itwasnotatitlesheearnedwithoutconcerted（一致的）effort,however.Whenshewasonlythirtyyearsold,herhusbandwaskilledinacaraccidentandshewaslefttoraisemealone.

Mymomcouldhavelivedunderablackcloud.Instead,shechallengedherselftofindjoyeveryday.Leadingbyexample,Momtaughtmejusthowmuchonecouldaccomplishwithapositiveattitude.Shehastakenthesameapproachinherrelationshipwithhergrandchildren--MaxandCharley.

Onehotsummerafternoon,mymomandhertwograndsons,havingspenttwohoursbuildingsandcastlesandcollectingseashellsonthebeach,sankintotheirbeachchairstohavearest.Howtheylongedfordeliciousicecreamtocoolthemselves,especiallythetwokids!

Suddenly,mymomheardthefamiliarloudclang（叮當聲）oftheice-creammanbellfromherbeachchair.Sheturnedquicklyandsawhimbriefly,spottinghisdistinctivegreenshirtandcatchingthegleamofhiswavingbellbeforeheturnedanddisappearedoverthedunes（沙丘）.

Happily,theice-creamman'svisitwasadailyoccurrenceatthebeach,althoughthelagtimebetweenthesoundofhisbellandthedepartureofhistruckwasnotlong.Onemustbequickenoughtocatchhimtobuytheicecream.

MaxandCharleywereingreatdisappointmentwhentheydidn'tcatchhimintimethatdaybecausetheyreallywantedtohaveatasteofthosecoolice-creams.Thatwasuntilmymom'seyessparkledandshesaidtothekids,“Nevergiveup!”Sheexplainedtothekidsthatthetruckmightbegone,buttheyshouldbeabletocatchhimupatitsnextstop.Andthekidsagreedimmediately.Paragraph1:SoMaxandCharley,accompaniedbymymom,begantheirmission.Paragraph2:MaxandCharley,encouragedbymymom,walkedanotherthreeblocks.動作鏈的寫作：以22.12Z20續(xù)寫為例途徑1:庖丁解牛，按時間順序分解大動作【場景】Max和Charley終于追趕上了冰激淋車?！緷櫳縒henMaxandCharleykeptrunningforalongtime,theyfinallysawthetruckagain.【改后】Thetwobrothersflailedtheirarms,draggedtheirfeettowadsthenextstop,andfinallyspottedthetruckagain.“追趕上”這個大動作按時間順序分解為：擺動雙臂+拖著身軀+看到車子動作鏈的寫作：以22.12Z20續(xù)寫為例

途徑2:動靜結(jié)合，按中心動作創(chuàng)建動作面【場景】Max和Charley終于追趕上冰激淋車?！緷櫳縒henMaxandCharleykeptrunningforalongtime,theyfinallysawthetruckagain.【動作面描寫手段】

整體→局部；肢體→頭部/面部→語言/心理【改后】Flailingtheirarms/Clutchingtheirfistsintowhiteknots/Teethclenched,thetwobrothersstrode

forwardandfinallycaughtsightofthelovelytruckinthecolorofmacaron.整體→局部肢體→頭部/面部→語言/心理【改后】Wadingthroughtheboundlessbeach,hisfeetweaklikejelly,

Maxstrayedhiseyesintonothingnessoftheair,andfinallywailed,“Ican’tgoanyfurther!”動作鏈的寫作：以22.12Z20續(xù)寫為例途徑3:有的放矢，輔修辭手法達成小目標【場景】Max和Charley終于追趕上冰激淋車。【潤色】WhenMaxandCharleykeptrunningforalongtime,theyfinallysawthetruckagain.【目的】此處的描寫目的在于突出追趕中的疲憊，以體現(xiàn)出奶奶的鼓勵：Nevergiveup!的重要性。修辭手法：比喻/夸張/擬人/對比...途徑3:有的放矢，輔修辭手法達成小目標比喻之前舒服的沙灘現(xiàn)在就像一塊巨大的鐵鍋，他們一邊走，熱氣一邊從底下冒上來，燙到他們的腳板，也挫傷了他們的士氣。目的：突出孩子們和奶奶在追趕冰激淋車途中的疲憊。Theoncecozybeachagainthotpanforthem,theydraggedalongwhileheatrosesluggishlyfromtheirfeet,blisteredtheirskinanddiscouragedtheirmorale.途徑3:有的放矢，輔修辭手法達成小目標目的：突出孩子們和奶奶在追趕冰激淋車途中的疲憊?？鋸?zhí)焯珶崃耍琈ax仿佛流了好幾噸的汗水，抬手擦了擦汗，抬起腳來走下一步，但腳下的沙子仿佛有吸引力一般，將他的腳牢牢陷在里面。Sweatingfortons,Maxwepthisperspirationsawayandpulledhisfeetfromthesand,whichseemedasifithadastrongmagnettosinkthem.途徑3:有的放矢，輔修辭手法達成小目標目的：突出孩子們和奶奶在追趕冰激淋車途中的疲憊。擬人明晃晃的太陽用盡全力地炙烤他們身上的每一滴水分，刺痛他們的頭頂，消磨他們的意志?！拔易卟粍恿?！”Charley忍不住哀嚎，他弓著背，雙手撐在膝蓋上，似乎要融化了。Theblazingsunjustwouldn’tleavethemalone.Itsuckedeverydropofthesweatdry,beatdownuponthemandworndowntheirwillpower.“Ican’twalkanyfurther!”Charleywhined,archedhisback,proppedhishandsontheknees,asifmeltingdown.途徑3:有的放矢，輔修辭手法達成小目標目的：突出孩子們和奶奶在追趕冰激淋車途中的疲憊。對比孩子們已經(jīng)走得歪歪扭扭了，終于跌坐在路邊，熱氣把他們身上最后一絲力量都抽走了；反觀奶奶，額頭的汗水流進了她眼窩里，襯得她的目光更為堅定了。Thechildrenstaggeredon,thelasttraceofdeterminationextractedfromtheirbody,andfinallyparalyzedthemselvesontotheground.Theirgranny,however,stoodevenmorefirmthoughhersweatsweredrippingdownandflowingintohereyesockets.ForyourreferenceSoMaxandCharley,accompaniedbymymom,begantheirmission.Followingthewaythesoundofthetruckreceded,withthecravingfortheyummyicecream,thetwoboyssetoffatabriskpaceahead,andmymombroughtuptherear.However,aftertheytrottedforthreeblocksintheblazingsun,therewasstillneitherhidenorhairofthetruck.Theoncecozybeachagainthotpanforthem,theydraggedalongwhileheatrosesluggishlyfromtheirfeet,blisteredtheirskinanddiscouragedtheirmorale.Theirgranny,however,stoodevenmorefirmthoughhersweatsweredrippingdownandflowingintohereyesockets.“Nevergiveup,”camemymom’ssoftbutresolutevoiceasalways,“I’veaskedthepassers-by,andthevendormustappearbeforelong.”MaxandCharley,encouragedbymymom,walkedanotherthreeblocks.Allatonce,thefamiliarclangcametotheirearslikeaspringoffreshwaterinadesert.Beltingforward,thistime,theydidn’tmissthevendor.Lickingthehard-earnedicecream--asheerblissonahotsummerday,theboyschuckledandgobbleddown.Throughthesetangibleexperiencesindailylife,hersimplephrasehastakenitsrootinourmind,galvanizingoureffortstochallengethedestiny.05動作鏈的實踐以23.1浙江真題“蜂鳥的報恩”為例

Iwasinvitedtoacookoutonanoldfriend’sfarminwesternWashington.Iparkedmycaroutsidethefarmandwalkedpastamilkinghousewhichhadapparentlynotbeenusedinmanyyears.Anoiseatawindowcaughtmyattention,soIenteredit.Itwasahummingbird(蜂鳥),desperatelytryingtoescape.Shewascoveredinspider-webs(蛛網(wǎng))andwasbarelyabletomoveherwings.SheceasedherstruggletheinstantIpickedherup.Withthebirdinmycuppedhand,Ilookedaroundtoseehowshehadgottenin.Thebrokenwindowglasswasthelikelyanswer.Istuffedapieceofclothintotheholeandtookheroutside,closingthedoorsecurelybehindme.WhenIopenedmyhand,thebirddidnotflyaway;shesatlookingatmewithherbrighteyes.Iremovedthestickyspider-websthatcoveredherheadandwings.Still,shemadenoattempttofly.Perhapsshehadbeenstrugglingagainstthewindowtoolongandwastootired?Ortoothirsty?

原題

AsIcarriedheruptheblackberry-linedpathtowardmycarwhereIkeptawaterbottle,shebegantomove.Istopped,andshesoontookwingbutdidnotimmediatelyflyaway.Hovering(懸停),sheapproachedwithinsixinchesofmyface.Foraverylongmoment,thistinycreaturelookedintomyeyes,turningherheadfromsidetoside.Thensheflewquicklyoutofsight.Duringthecookout,Itoldmyhostsaboutthehummingbirdincident.Theypromisedtofixthewindow.AsIwasdeparting,myfriendswalkedmetomycar.Iwasstandingbythecarwhenahummingbirdflewtothecenterofourgroupandbeganhovering.Sheturnedfrompersontopersonuntilshecametome.Sheagainlookeddirectlyintomyeyes,thenletoutasqueakingcallandwasgone.Foramoment,allwerespeechless.Thensomeonesaid,“Shemusthavecometosaygood-bye.”Para.1Afewweekslater,Iwenttothefarmagain.Para.2Iwasjustabouttoleavewhenthehummingbirdappeared.原題動作鏈場景1：“我”回到農(nóng)場，回想舊日時光【潤色】Ireturnedtothefarmwithafeelingofnostalgia.【目的】凸顯“我”對農(nóng)場時光留戀?！靖暮蟆縁eelingasurgeofnostalgiabrewinginside,Ishovedasidethewoodenfenceofthefarmandtookastepinside.Passingbythemilkinghouse,Ihalted.Itobviousybroughtbackmymemorywiththelittlecreature,whichstirredandtumbled

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