讀后續(xù)寫之海上救人-“黃岡杯”一等獎(jiǎng)

2019稽陽(yáng)聯(lián)考讀后續(xù)寫年份體裁主題細(xì)節(jié)描寫特點(diǎn)年份體裁主題細(xì)節(jié)描寫特點(diǎn)2016.10記敘文Jane和丈夫在野營(yíng)時(shí)吵架走散并迷路側(cè)重心理描寫2017.6記敘文Mac和朋友騎行途中偶遇惡狼側(cè)重動(dòng)作描寫2017.7記敘文“我”與健忘母親的旅行趣事側(cè)重人物性格描寫2018.6記敘文“我”與父親去西部荒野度假時(shí)騎馬迷路側(cè)重環(huán)境描寫indirectcharacterization(間接人物塑造)To

reveal

a

character’s

traitsbydescribinghisorherappearance,thoughts,words,actions,andothercharacters’commentsonhimorher.Readforplot把握故事情節(jié)Readforcharacters尋找人物性格Readfordevelopment推測(cè)故事發(fā)展Howtoreadanarrativestory?AstoryEvent

(what)Time(when)Place(where)Characters

(who)Readforplot(把握故事情節(jié))Plot(how)閱讀下面短文根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫,使之構(gòu)成個(gè)完整的故事Afterstudyforhours.Iwentoutsideanduptotheroofnearbyforabreakandwatchedpeopleswimminginthesea.Itwasasunnyday-ablue,cloudlessskyoveracalmsea.Butthen,asIlookedinthedistance,Idiscoveredaseriesofthreeorfourbigwavesheadingtowardstheshore.I'dseenthesemini-tsunamis(小型海嘯)manytimesbefore.Theywereheadingatspeedinthedirectionoftheswimmingarea.Mostpeopleknewtolookoutforthem,butfromthescreamsthatstartedcomingfromthebeach,Icouldtellsomeonewasintrouble.

Withoutthinking,Irandownintothestreet,holdingmybodyboard(沖浪板)onthewayand

shoutedatastrangertocallthecoastguard(海岸整衛(wèi))MyneighborTomhadheardthescreamingaswellandwasalsooutsidewithhisbodyboard,sotogetherwerushedtothestepsthatleddowntothesea

Oncewegotcloser,wediscoveredthewaveshadpulledaboyandagirlintotheopensea.Iknowthatthenearestboatwouldtakeatleast30minutestoreachus.Iwasn'tusedtothissortofemergency--I'dneverbeentrainedasalifeguard--butIdidn'tthinktwiceabouttryingtosavethem.IsupposeinawayIwantedtoimpresseveryone;at19,adeallikethatcanseemlikeagoodopportunitytoshowoffTomandIdivedintothewaterandittookus10minutestogettothem.Whenwefinallyreachedthem,theywerealmostlifelesswithonlytheirheadscominginandoutofthewater.Wecouldtelltheywerestillalivefromtheirsmallbreathsbutitwascleartheywouldn'thavebeenabletostaytheremuchlonger.Iheldtheboyandpulledhimovermyboard.Tomthenmovedthegirlontohisboard.Readforplottimeplacecharactersthemeplota.Wepulledkidsontoourboards.b.Ishoutedatastrangertocallthecoastguard.c.Thekidswerealmostlifeless.d.Aboyandagirlwerepulledintothesea.e.IdivedintotheseawithTomtosavethekids.f.Inotedmini-tsunamisheadingtowardstheshore.g.Iwentoutforabreakafterhoursofstudy.onasunnydayattheseasideaboyandagirl;I;Tom;coastguardsavingtwokidsgfdbecaReadforcharacters...Withoutthinking,Irandownintothestreet,holdingmybodyboard

onthewayandshoutedatastrangertocallthe

coastguard....Generally,abodyboardis1.5to2.7minlengthanditweighsabout11to25kg.tool

help

indirectcharacterizationcharactertraits:thoughtful/considerate...settingincitingincidentClimaxResolutionDenouementA______________skyovera_____seabluecloudlesscalmMin-tsunamis______towardstheshore.______startedfrombeachheadedScreamswe____tothesteps,leddowntotheseaReadfordevelopment

rushedWereachedtheboyandgirlbut___________fromthelandtoofaraway

劃線詞分類人物類事物類動(dòng)作類距離時(shí)間

劃線詞分類人物類aboyandagirl;Tom事物類waves;boat;opportunity;bodyboard動(dòng)作類swimming;save距離inthedistance時(shí)間longerReadfordevelopmentPara.1Wediscussedpushingthembacktotheshore,butweweretoofarout.Para2.Thatnight,wordcamefromthehospitalthatthetwokidswereingoodcondition.Theproblemswemet:Thehelpwegot:tiredness/fiercewaves/dyingkids...thecoastguard...Thegratefulnesswereceived:ThelessonIlearnt:fromthetwokids'parents/themedia...Onesimpleactofkindnesscanreallymakeadifference.Wherethereiskindness,thereisamiracle.Onegoodturndeservesanother....ReadfordevelopmentHowtocontinueanarrativestory?Mindyourhandwriting注意書(shū)寫Mindyourlanguage注意語(yǔ)言Mindyourtheme注意主題MeaningfulColourfulBeautifulindirectcharacterization自然環(huán)境描寫——描寫波濤洶涌Thecoastlinewashiddenbehindthe_________waves(洶涌澎湃的浪濤)withalmostnoonetobeseen.roaring2.AsIfloatedon,______________(一個(gè)巨浪)_________(呼嘯而來(lái))andapproachedus.ahugewavewhistled3.Thebigwind____________________(在耳邊咆哮),andwewerepushedawayfromtheshorefartherandfarther.roaredthroughourears4.Allmysensestoldmethatabigwave________________.(即將來(lái)臨)wasabouttocome5.A_______________(看似猛烈的)wavewas________________.

(靠近我們)powerful-lookingcomingtowardsus6.Thefiercewaves_________________________(沒(méi)有消退的跡象).showednosignofdyingdown7.Theseawas_________(洶涌的；風(fēng)浪大的)thatdayanditwasdifficultto________(控制)thebodyboard.roughhandle自然環(huán)境描寫——描寫波濤洶涌人文環(huán)境描寫——描寫聲音傳來(lái)4.Atthatmoment,ashrillwhistle(汽笛聲)______________

(劃破天空).1.Adistantsound_________________________.(傳入耳朵)reachedourears2.Asoft,reedy(似笛聲的)sound___________________________.

(漂浮在海上)floatedacrossthesea3.Thesoundoftheboat_______________________.(在我們耳內(nèi)回響)echoedinourearsrippedtheair5.Whenwewereatalossofwhattodo,therewererasping(刺耳的)

shouts(喊叫聲)____________________

(從遠(yuǎn)處升起).risingfromthedistance6.Aship's

____________________

(喇叭聲響起).hornsounded人物描寫——描寫疲倦5.CastingalookatTom,Icouldtellhewasalso_____________________________(明顯地精疲力盡了).1.Drowninthesea,I______________(失去了平衡)butseizedthebodyboardtightly.lostmybalance2.Timepassingus,tiredness_______________(包圍了)uswithmyfeet__________(僵硬/麻木)andshivering.engulfedstiff/numb3.___________________(盡管很累),wedidn’tstop.Grittingoutteeth,wekeptswimming.

Exhaustedaswewere4.Afterwhatseemedacentury,Ifelt_________________(非常累)

whileswimminghardtokeepmyselfafloat(漂浮著的).

/f??ti?gd/extremelyfatigued

apparentlyworn-out——描寫害怕1.Itookadeepbreathand_____________(害怕地咽了口吐沫).2.Watchingtheshoreinthedistance,Ifelt_________(無(wú)力的)

asifwewerebrokentinyboatsatthemercyofstrongwave.(simile)swallowedhardpowerless3.Exhaustedandcold,thethoughtthatwemightdiehereflashedacrossmymind,whichmademe_____________________________

_______________________(難以控制地發(fā)抖).quiverwithanuncontrollableterror/horror/fright4.Lookingatthevastsea,Ifeltasenseoffear______________________________.(在身體涌動(dòng))

surgingthroughmywholebody5.Astimetickedby,fear___________________(爬上我心頭)

andIcouldhardlytellhowlongIcould_________(前行).creptuponmyheart(creep)ploughon人物描寫人物描寫6.Thethoughtofhopelessness_________________________(讓我后脊背發(fā)涼).——描寫害怕sentshiversdownmyspine7.Iwas_________________________(被恐懼感淹沒(méi)).floodedwithasenseofhorror8.Seeingthis,Ifeltmyfear________________(劇增)inside.growing/increasing9.Ifelt________________(一陣焦慮)_________________(襲來(lái)).awaveofanxietysweptovermybodysweep——描寫掙扎努力1.Tomlooked____________(若有所思)人物描寫thoughtful2.“Weneedtothinkoutaway!”Imuttered(喃喃自語(yǔ)),____________________(絞盡腦汁)scratchingmyhead3....,Weswam____________(全力以赴地).toothandnail4.We__________________(不遺余力地)toswimtowardstheshore.sparednoeffortto5.We_________________________(互換了堅(jiān)定的神情),then

ploughedon(繼續(xù)前行)

__________________(難以置信的速度).exchangedadeterminedlookatanincrediblespeed人物描寫——描寫如釋重負(fù)1.Ensuringtheirsafety,I__________________.(感到一陣勝利的喜悅)feltasurgeoftriumph2.Hearingthecomfortingnews,I___________________________________________.(情難自抑)couldn'thelprestrainingmyexcitement3._______________(聽(tīng)到...很高興)tohearthegoodnews.Itthrilledus4.Onhearingthegoodnews,TomandI_________________(如釋重負(fù)地嘆了口氣),grinningmerrilyateachother.sighedingreatrelief5.____________(如釋重負(fù)地微笑),I_________________(感到一陣自豪).Smilinginrelieffeltarushofpride6._____________(狂喜)toseeaboatcomingtoourrescue,TomandI____________________.(如釋重負(fù)地松了口氣)OverjoyedbreathedasighofreliefindirectcharacterizationA19-year-oldstudentnaturalsettingculturalsettingcharacter'sfeelings/words/actions/monologues...Aherocharactertraits:thoughtful/brave/courageous/considerate...

Onepossibleversion:

Wediscussedpushingthembacktotheshore,butweweretoofarout.

Wehadtowait,tryingtokeepthemonthebodyboards.Pattingtheirfacestowakethemup,wecontinuouslytoldthemtobestrong.Afterwhatseemedacentury,Ifeltextremelyexhaustedwhileswimminghardtokeepm