破產(chǎn)姐妹 雙語(yǔ)劇本 第一季 第16集

一直想為每部美劇做一份筆記,一直想鼓勵(lì)每個(gè)美劇迷讀一點(diǎn)劇本,做一點(diǎn)筆記.破產(chǎn)姐妹第一季第十六集感謝天天美劇提供字幕,Max,Caroline,IhaveanannouncementMaxCaroline我要宣布個(gè)事兒You'reactuallymuchshorterandarewalkingonstilts?宣布以前你是穿著高蹺其實(shí)你更矮嗎I'vemadeaspecialmenufortomorrow'sValentine'snightdinner我為明晚的情人節(jié)晚餐做了一個(gè)特別菜譜Han,that'ssoromanticHan你太浪漫啦Yeah,romanticandwrong哼是錯(cuò)誤的浪漫Thisplaceisn't"WhenHarrymetSally"這里不是Harry和Sally相遇的地方[WhenHarryMetSally是一部電影]It's"WhenHarrymetSalmonella"而是Harry感染沙門氏菌的地方Max,ClubSandwichMax總匯三明治Andheadsup,Ilostaband-aid注意點(diǎn)哦我丟了個(gè)創(chuàng)口貼ThememenumeansIcanchargeonebiggerprice主題菜單意味著我可以多收錢likeintoprestaurant像高級(jí)飯店一樣的收費(fèi)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)See,"prickfix"看到?jīng)]合痂菜單OhHan,it'spronounced"prixfixe"Han應(yīng)該說(shuō)成定價(jià)菜單Haveyouseenourchef?It'sdefinitely"prickfix"剛你沒聽大廚說(shuō)掉了創(chuàng)口貼嗎當(dāng)然是合痂Tomorrownight,CupidwillcometoWilliamsburgdiner明晚丘比特會(huì)降臨咱們店Didn'thavethehearttotellhim:"Cupidisdead"真不忍心告訴他丘比特已經(jīng)死了Yup,hitbyamacktruckcrossingtheBrooklyn-QueensExpressway他在橫穿布魯克林到皇后區(qū)的高速公路時(shí)被卡車撞了Hisfatdiaperedbabyasssplatteredalloverthewindshield他那個(gè)裹著尿布的肥屁股濺了我一擋風(fēng)玻璃IloveValentine'sDay我愛死情人節(jié)了That'syourreaction?IkilledCupid.你就這反應(yīng)嗎我干掉了丘比特誒You'reeitherromanticornot,你浪漫或者不浪漫I'mnotevengonnatrytoconvinceyou我都不會(huì)想要去說(shuō)服你Ohheisdead,andtheproof...哦他是真的死了證據(jù)就是Whenisthelasttimeyouknewanyonewhofellinlove?你難道知道上次有人墜入愛河是什么時(shí)候Reallove,likeIcelovesCoco像Ice愛Coco那樣的真愛[Ice和Coco是真人秀里面的一對(duì)恩愛夫妻]Howaboutthem?他們?cè)鯓覶hey'vebeenholdinghandsandromanticwhisperingallnight他們一整晚都緊握雙手浪漫低語(yǔ)Theirromanticwhisperinggoeslikethis他們的浪漫低語(yǔ)是這樣的"Iownnippleclamps""我有乳頭夾"Plink,Cupidisnotdead叮鈴丘比特沒有死Plink,theregoeshislittlearrow叮鈴愛神之箭來(lái)了Plink,plink叮鈴叮鈴Clamp,ouch,clamp,ouch我夾哎呦我夾哎呦Clampclamp,ouchouch我夾我夾哎呦哎呦本字幕僅供學(xué)習(xí)交流嚴(yán)禁用于商業(yè)用途=============================破產(chǎn)姐妹第一季第十六集天天美劇字幕組時(shí)間軸:貓小七雪域清廷=============================聽譯:大Z安小姐餃子阿飄蟲蟲校對(duì):Leah米蘭黃魚小雪Max,sinceit'sjustaftermidnight,Max既然剛過了午夜12點(diǎn)it'snowofficiallyValentine'sday.現(xiàn)在就正式是情人節(jié)啦I'vegotsomethinginhereforyou,guesswhatitis?我給你準(zhǔn)備了東西猜猜是什么Well,judgingfromthatsmileonyourface,從你臉上的笑容I'dsayit'safinger-sizeholeinyourapron我猜你的圍裙上有個(gè)手指大的洞洞Candyhearts心形糖果Here,holdoutyourhands,let'sgetourhearton來(lái)伸出你的手把我們的小心心放上面跳動(dòng)I'mwayaheadofyou我早就心動(dòng)了"Bemine",classic.What'syourssay?經(jīng)典的"你是我的"你的寫了啥?"CarolineChanningislame""CarolineChanning很老土""Ihateyouforgivingmethis""我恨你給了我這個(gè)""Valentine'sDayistheworst""情人節(jié)什么的最討厭了"Oh,cinnamon哦肉桂味的Goodevening,Earl晚上好啊EarlMymymy天啊Sophie,seeingyouinthatdressmakesmyheartraceSophie看見你穿著這裙子讓我心跳加速啊Two-scoopedicecreaminaonescoopcone雙球冰淇淋都融化成單球的了OhEarl,youmakemesmile哦Earl你總能逗我笑IwishwehadblackpeopleinPolandwhenIwasgrowingup我真希望我在波蘭長(zhǎng)大的時(shí)候那里也有黑人Toobad,wereallywould'veenjoyedsegregationandHitler我們應(yīng)該會(huì)喜歡種族隔離和希特勒的[反語(yǔ)涉及到歷史問題]Hibuildingneighbors好呀親愛的鄰居WellIwasjustdrivingbyandsinceitwasraining我剛路過因?yàn)橄掠炅薎thoughtIcouldofferyoutwogirlsaridehomeinmytowncar我想來(lái)接你們用我的老爺車送你們回家Thelasttimesomeoneofferedmearide,上次有人要開車送我IendedupinadrainagepipeinJersey結(jié)果送到了Jersey的排水管道里Sophieyourentatowncar?Sophie租了輛老爺車?Yes,butonlywhenit'sraining對(duì)啊不過只在下雨天Because,youknow,Igothairextensionsandnailextensions因?yàn)槲易隽私影l(fā)接了指甲andyouknowI...I'mtooextendedtowalk你懂的各種加長(zhǎng)沒法走了Hello你好啊Isawyoufromkitchen我從廚房就看到你了Youturnedpick-upwindowintopainting你把上菜的窗口變成了一幅畫Plink叮鈴Velvetpaintingofnudeatcounter一幅在柜臺(tái)的天鵝絨裸體畫Clamp,ouch我夾哎呦Thegirlstellmeyouowncleaningservice姑娘們告訴我你有一家清潔服務(wù)公司Iwouldliketohireyoutocleanmyhouse我想雇你來(lái)清潔我的房子Ohyea,thisispossible.Iwillsendgirl哦可以啊我會(huì)派姑娘去Whatisyouraddress?你的地址是?Idon'twantsomegirl我不想要?jiǎng)e的姑娘Iwantyoutocomeclean我就想要你來(lái)打掃Ohyoucannotgetmetocome你不可能讓我去[去有"高潮"的意思]OhIcangetyoutocome我當(dāng)然能No,Icannolongercomeanymore不行我再也不能"去"了No,MaxandCarolinecancomeMax和Caroline可以去Nono,wearenotcoming不不我們不去Sonoonecangetyoutocome?所以沒人能讓你"去"咯Well,somepeoplecangetmetocome...有人可以Justnotyou反正不是你Hardtoget,Ilikeit不容易得手我喜歡Gogetthecoats,Iwillgetthischeck你去拿衣服我來(lái)收小票Hereisthelastcheck,Earl給你最后一張小票EarlOhMax,canyoutakecareofthatforme,please?哦Max那張你能幫我處理了么??Sure,why?可以怎么了?Ohnothingpressing.Justhavingaheartattack哦沒什么就是心臟病發(fā)作了Iwillseeyoutomorrow明天見哈Wait,you'rehavingaheartattack?等一下你有心臟病?Mostdefinitely確定以及肯定I'vehadthreemylife,we'reoldfriends.我這輩子犯過三次心臟病我們是老朋友啦Earl,you'rehavingaheartattackEarl你心臟病發(fā)作了啊Iwillbefine.Haveyouseenmytangerine?我會(huì)沒事的你有看見我的橘子沒?Ihaveatangerinesetasideformywalkhome我放了個(gè)橘子在這回家路上吃的Forgetthetangerine別管你的橘子了Earl'shavingaheartattack.Earl心臟病犯了Sophie,we'retakingthetowncartothehospitalSophie我們得開你的老爺車去醫(yī)院Earl,whendidthepainstart?Earl什么時(shí)候開始疼的啊?WhenIsawSophieinthatdress.看到Sophie穿著那條裙子的時(shí)候Oh,hellno哦我勒個(gè)去Whyisthislinesolong?這隊(duì)怎么這么長(zhǎng)?ThenewiPhonecomeout?新iPhone出來(lái)了么?Let'sjustgethimoverthere我們還是先把他送到那邊去吧Max,anythingyoucandotomovethisalong?Max你能變個(gè)法把這里清干凈么?Move!Celebritycomingthrough躲開明星來(lái)了MorganFreemanhavingaheartattackMorganFreeman心臟病發(fā)了[美國(guó)黑人男演員出演過七宗罪肖申克的救贖]He'shavingaheartattack他心臟病發(fā)作了Onascaleofonetoten,what'syourpain?從1到10的程度描述一下你的疼痛感Er..two,wewerejustintheneighborhoodlookingforaplacetohavejello呃2我們只是在這片找個(gè)地方尿尿IwastalkingtoMorganFreeman我是在跟MorganFreeman說(shuō)Takehimnow趕緊救人吶Sir,hehasahistoryofhearttrouble先生他有過心臟病史Alright,we'llgethimin好吧讓他進(jìn)來(lái)Earl,gowiththenurseEarl跟著護(hù)士走Damn,it'saman蛋疼是個(gè)男的We'llberightouthere,Earl.Everythingisgonnabeokay我們就在這外面Earl你會(huì)沒事的Haveaseatandwait坐下等著吧Lookatme,gingerbread看著我姜餅ifanythinghappenstohim,Iwillstapleyournutsacktothatchair他要是少了一根汗毛我就把你的蛋蛋切下來(lái)訂在那張椅子上That'sright,it'smeagain嗯哼又是我Forthetenthtime,he'sfine我都說(shuō)第十次了他沒事Hehadaminorattack,buthe'singoodhands只是輕微的病發(fā)我們會(huì)好好照顧他的Iwouldknow,Ihadbothofmyheartattackshere我知道是因?yàn)槲覂纱涡呐K病發(fā)都是在這兒Iwannagobackthereandseeformyself我要到后面親眼看一下Familymembersonly限家屬探訪Well,I'mhisdaughter好吧我是他女兒Oh,really?哦真的么?Itsaysherehe's75yearsold這里寫著他75歲Well,hestartedlate那他起步有點(diǎn)遲AndAfricanAmerican非裔美國(guó)人Hestartedlatewithahonkey.I'moneofthosecombobabies他和一個(gè)白鬼起步得有點(diǎn)遲嘛我就是傳說(shuō)中的組合嬰兒Here,youneedproof?看這里你要證據(jù)么MylastnameisBlack我姓黑See,MaxBlack看麥克斯·黒Heisblack.IamBlack.It'dbedumbifweweren'trelated他是黑人我又姓黑我們要是沒血緣關(guān)系不是太傻了么CanIjustgetbacktoplayingangrybirds?我可以坐回去玩憤怒的小鳥了么?Youareyammeringonhereaboutnothing你在這為雞毛蒜皮斤斤計(jì)較whiletheloveofmylifeisbacktherealoneandscared而我的一生摯愛卻在里面寂寞惶恐Yousaidhewasyourfather.Nowheistheloveofyourlife?你剛說(shuō)他是你爸現(xiàn)在又成一生摯愛啦?He'sboth.We'refromthesouth兩個(gè)都是我們南方來(lái)的Haveaseat坐下吧Igotustwolattes.Ittookforever我買了拿鐵等了超級(jí)久Theguyinfrontofmemissedhiskidneytransplant我前面的那個(gè)男的錯(cuò)過了他的換腎手術(shù)waitingforamochafrapuccino就為了等一杯摩卡星冰樂Anynews?怎么樣了?Thesame,buttheywon'tletmebackthere老樣子但是他們不讓我進(jìn)去IeventoldthemEarlwasmyfather我都騙他們Earl是我爸了Now'smychance,nurseChewbacca'sonthemove機(jī)會(huì)來(lái)了Chewbacca移動(dòng)了[Chewbacca是電影《星球大戰(zhàn)》的角色負(fù)責(zé)守衛(wèi)]I'mgoingbackthere我要進(jìn)里面去Ifyouseeanyoneabouttonoticemesneakby,如果你看到有人要發(fā)現(xiàn)我溜進(jìn)去drawalltheattentiontoyourself你就把注意力都引到自己身上Max,Idon'tknowifIcandothatMax我不知道我能不能做到Y(jié)ou'reright.That'skindofmything你說(shuō)得對(duì)成為焦點(diǎn)這種事一向非我莫屬Okay,letmethink好吧我想想Youdon'thavetimetothink,justthrowthecoffeesagainstthewall你沒時(shí)間想了直接把咖啡砸到墻上去That'sridiculous你搞笑么IgraduatedtopofmyclassatWarton在沃頓時(shí)我可是班里的頂尖畢業(yè)生Icandobetterthanthat我的演技能再高超點(diǎn)Ohmygod額滴神哪Thosewerenotnon-fat里面加的不是脫脂牛奶Earl,youinhere?Earl你在里面嗎?Max,isthatyou?Max是你嗎?Uhhuh,ain'tyousweet?啊哈那么貼心Butyoudidn'thavetowaitaroundforme但是你不用留下來(lái)陪我了ThisisNarcissus.She'sfromtheFijiIslands這位是Narcissus從斐濟(jì)來(lái)的Andgivesonehellofaspongebath她還幫我做了一次爽歪歪的擦澡Hi,canwehaveaminutealone?嗨能讓我們單獨(dú)聊會(huì)么Earl,doyouthinkthisisagoodtimetohaveaspongebath?Earl你覺得現(xiàn)在是擦澡的時(shí)候么Imeaninyourcondition?就以你現(xiàn)在的狀況?Max,whentheylooklikethat,Max如果給你擦澡的都是那樣的美女there'sneverabadtimeforaspongebath啥時(shí)候擦澡都行So,you'redoingokaynow?所以你現(xiàn)在沒事了?Prettygood.Thedoctorsaysitwasamildone很不錯(cuò)醫(yī)生說(shuō)這次病情并不嚴(yán)重butI'mgonnahavetostayhereacouplenights但是我還要在這里住兩晚Couldyoufindouthowmuchextraformetogetmyownroom?你能不能去打聽一下給我弄個(gè)單間需要另加多少錢Aprivateroom?單間?ThelasttimeIwasinoneoftheseplaces,我上次待這種地方的時(shí)候theguyinthebednexttomethoughthewasaparrot我隔壁床的伙計(jì)以為他是只鸚鵡andaskedmeforcrackersthewholedamnnighttmd一整晚都問我要餅干Done.I'llgetyouyourownroom成給你弄個(gè)單間Anddon'tworryabouttheexpenses別擔(dān)心醫(yī)藥費(fèi)Igotalittlemoneystashedawayforarainyday我為不測(cè)風(fēng)云早準(zhǔn)備好存款了Iamnotusingyourmoney我不會(huì)用你的錢的Butletmeguess,"rainyday"isastrainofweed?我猜猜不測(cè)風(fēng)云指的是大麻緊缺Nowyou'regettingit說(shuō)到點(diǎn)子上了I'llseeyoulater遲點(diǎn)見Don'tdie,orIwillkillyou別掛了不然我就殺了你Sowhat,Nowyouwantaprivateroom?干嘛現(xiàn)在你還想要一個(gè)單間?Howishegonnapayforthat?他怎么付得起?Oh,sothatoldmanhastobetheonlymanofAmerica哦所以全美就只有那個(gè)老人whohastopaymedicalbills?得付藥費(fèi)么?Mr.FreemanhasdonealotofsuccessfulmoviesFreeman先生拍過很多成功的電影Idon'tthinkyoursacarsticattitudeisveryprofessional我認(rèn)為你這種挖苦人的態(tài)度很沒職業(yè)風(fēng)范Professional?職業(yè)風(fēng)范?Um..anhourago,一小時(shí)前yourlittlethugfriendherethreatenedtocutmesodeepthatI'dhaveavagina你站在這里的暴徒朋友威脅要給我割個(gè)陰道Thatofferstillstands那個(gè)提議依舊成立She'supset她有點(diǎn)兒心煩Andvirginaishergo-to"陰道"是她的敏感詞Well,theonlyreasonIhaven'tcalledsecurityis我之所以沒叫保安是因?yàn)閠heywerelaidoff2weeksago他們兩星期前都被炒了Whatisyourname?你叫啥名?TigTigAndit'sfake,sogoodluckwiththat還有這是個(gè)假名祝你好運(yùn)Sir,you'rerepresentingtheShecterFamilyWingofthishospital先生你代表的可是Shecter家族贊助醫(yī)院的形象MyfamilyknowstheShecters我家和Shecter家是世交Infact,theirsonDavidinternshere而且他們的兒子David在這里實(shí)習(xí)AndifImadeacall,hewouldnotbepleased我如果打個(gè)電話告訴他他肯定會(huì)不高興的Ifyouknowthem,whyarewetalkingtothislumpbehindthedesk?早說(shuō)你認(rèn)識(shí)他們啊何必跟這桌后的大塊頭叨叨半天啊?Suckit,redface!Wearegoingoveryourhead.吃癟吧紅毛臉我們要把你的頭當(dāng)路面碾過去Howdoyoulikemenow?Bitch!現(xiàn)在怎么樣?賤人Getyourphone.SeeifhecouldswingEarlaprivateroom.打電話看他能給Earl安排個(gè)單間不IthinkIstillhavehiscellnumber.我應(yīng)該還有他的號(hào)碼Wewentoutforafewtimes我們約會(huì)了幾次untilIrealizedhewasseriousaboutgoingdownthatprobonoroute.等我意識(shí)到他當(dāng)真要走公益路線時(shí)我就和他吹了-Didyoutwohavesex?-No.-你們滾過床單?-沒有Sweet!That'swhatyougetofferhimfortheroom.太棒了為了房間你可要獻(xiàn)身一下了That'samazing.難以置信Someonefoundafloristthatdeliversaftermidnight.有人還能找到午夜送花的花店That'snotsoamazing.才不奇怪Iknowaguynamed"StickyIcky"Rickywhodeliversexclusivelyaftermidnight.我認(rèn)識(shí)個(gè)外號(hào)"狗皮膏藥"Ricky的人他專營(yíng)半夜上門服務(wù)Youknow,IjustrealizedthisisthefirstValentine'sDayIwon'tgetflowersfrommyfather.我才意識(shí)到?jīng)]有爸爸送花的情人節(jié)這還是第一次Oh,that'scute你爸老可愛了withabigoldsideofcreepy.透著老古怪No,that'ssweet.才不是是貼心EveryyearfromthetimeIwasababy打我出生后的每一年andevenwhenIhadboyfriends.哪怕有了男朋友I'dgetflowersfrommydadwithacardthatsays,我都會(huì)收到我父親送我的花和寫著"You'llalwaysbemyValentine.""你永遠(yuǎn)是我的摯愛"的卡片IgotasweetValentinefromaguyIlikedinhighschool.高中時(shí)我喜歡的男生送我一張情人節(jié)卡片Itsaid,"I’llgiveyoufivebuckstoliftyourshirt."上面寫著"給你5美元你把衣服撩起來(lái)"Caroline...Hey,I'llberightwithyou.Caroline...嘿我馬上過去找你Thereheis.CuterthanIremember.那就是他比記憶中帥多了Hey.Wow.WhenIheardyourvoicemail,Icouldn'tbelieveit.嘿聽到你的留言我都有點(diǎn)不敢相信Yes,well,Iwasn'tsureyou'dwanttocomedown,because...是啊我都不知道你會(huì)不會(huì)來(lái)因?yàn)椤?youknow...-Youdumpedmetwoyearsago?-要知道…-你兩年前甩了我?Well,"dumped"isastrongword.呃"甩"這個(gè)詞用得有點(diǎn)重Toremyheartout,shookitinfrontofmyface."把我的心挖出來(lái)血淋淋地在我眼前晃"Thatanysofter?這樣語(yǔ)氣輕點(diǎn)?Hatetointerruptthe"perfectwhiteteeth"convention,真不想打斷"好一口白牙"這樣的寒暄butwe'reinahurry.但是我們有急事David,thisismyfriendMax.David這是我的朋友MaxAfriendofourswasadmitted,我們的一個(gè)朋友住院了andwewerehopingtogethimaprivateroom.我們希望給他找個(gè)單人間Oh,soyou'renotheretoreturnmyDartmoutht-shirtyoustolefromme.所以你不是來(lái)還從我這偷走的DartmouthT恤Yougavethattome.是你送給我的No,Ididn't!Ilovethatshirt.才沒有我愛死那件T恤了IfeellikeIlostcustodyofitinadivorce,我感覺自己就像離婚訴訟中andnowI'mlikeadeadbeatdad.輸了孩子監(jiān)護(hù)權(quán)的悲慘老爸Howabouttheroom?Anychance?可以安排個(gè)單間嗎可以嗎Please.Prettyplease.拜托了當(dāng)我求你了Oh,well,sinceyousaid"prettyplease,"既然你都說(shuō)了"當(dāng)我求你了"I'llseewhatIcando.我會(huì)想辦法的Weshouldbeclear.Wecan'tpay.丑話說(shuō)前頭我們沒錢支付住院費(fèi)We'rebroke...我們是窮光蛋...bothofus.兩個(gè)都是ButI'msureyouheardthatsomewhere.但我肯定你從哪兒聽說(shuō)了吧Yeah...Everywhere.對(duì)...到處都在傳David,Ihopeyourfamilydidn'tloseanymoneywithmyfather.Didthey?David我希望我爸那件事沒給你們家?guī)?lái)什么損失沒有吧?Nope,stillfilthyrich.沒還是富得流油AndIcandomybesttoburnsomefilthyoffthatrich,bygettingyourfriendaV.I.P.room.我可以撇幾勺油出來(lái)發(fā)發(fā)善心給你們的朋友安排一間貴賓間I'lljustdropsomenames.Bythat,Imeanmyown.我只要簽幾個(gè)人名當(dāng)然就是我自個(gè)兒的名字Shouldn'tbeaproblem.應(yīng)該不成問題IloveJews.愛死猶太人了Yeah,we'regenerous.Spreadtheword.是的我們很慷慨廣而告之吧Uh,ifyouwouldn'tmindgivingNarcissusmywhereabouts?如果不介意可以幫我告訴Narcissus我在哪嗎Didyouseethelookonthatdesklump'sbig,redface你看到問詢處那個(gè)紅毛臉大塊頭的表情了嗎whenIpushedyoubyhim?我推你過去的時(shí)候他的表情Idid,butIthinkthrowinghimthefingerwasatadoutofline.看到了但向他豎中指有點(diǎn)孩子氣Wow,Dr.Davidreallyhookedusup.哇David醫(yī)生的安排真好Yeah,thisislikeanepisodeofCribs對(duì)就像一集Cribs[Cribs真人秀]I.C.U.Edition.特護(hù)病房版的So,Earl,whatdoyouthink?Earl你覺得怎么樣Goodlord,isthataMatisse?我的天那是Matisse的作品嗎Ibelieveso.我想是的Then,mama,I'mhome.老媽我到家了Here,ladies,putthesesuckersinyourstation.嘿美女們把棒棒糖放你們這IthinkImightgetalateValentinedinnercrowd.我想情人節(jié)晚些時(shí)候來(lái)就餐的客人會(huì)很多Youalsothinkyoumightgetalategrowthspurt,你還想著你也能晚些時(shí)候來(lái)個(gè)二次發(fā)育呢butthat'snothappeningeither.這兩件事都是妄想Atbest,you'llgetthreesinglegirls你頂多能有三個(gè)單身女客waddlingoveratmidnighttocryintosometapioca.午夜左搖右晃地拐進(jìn)來(lái)把臉埋在木薯粉里面哭True.Ineedtocutthecrap.是的我剛才說(shuō)大話了Valentine'sdinnerisbust.情人節(jié)晚餐就是泡影Andlook,Ihavesacrificedmymanhoodfornocashvalue.瞧著虧我還犧牲我的男子氣概這樣還沒人付我錢Butyourwingsareadorable.可是你的翅膀很萌啊Yes,butmatchingpantiesaresuffocatingtheboys.是很可愛但配套的短褲把我的小可愛憋壞了Comeon,closeearly.拜托早點(diǎn)關(guān)門We'veonlygotonetableoftwi-hards我們只有一桌客了還是兩個(gè)小屁孩子IwanttogoseeEarl.我想去看EarlOh,whatthehell?IlovemymanEarl,too.哦那又怎樣我也愛EarlSoscrewit.Let'sflyoverthere.管他呢咱們趕緊飛過去看他吧Ooh,thisisn'tlikethehospitalsinPoland.哦這兒的醫(yī)院和波蘭的不一樣嘛Thelightsareworking.燈竟然是亮的Okay,sitdown.I'lltakeyouinoneatatime.好啦坐下吧我一次帶你們其中一個(gè)進(jìn)去Allright,Cupid,you'refirst.好吧丘比特你第一個(gè)Oh,don'twakehim.Gobackout.哦別吵醒他先出去吧Angels.Oh,lord,no.天使啊哦額滴神呀不ThankGodit'syou,Han.感謝上帝是你啊HanIsawthewings,我看見你的翅膀啦andIthoughtheavenwasfilledwithchunkyChinesecherubs然后我就以為天堂里全都是中式的矮胖墩天使andnojazz.連爵士樂也沒有Oh,okay,great.I'llseeyouinfive.哦好的太棒了咱們5分鐘后見I'mgonnagomeetDr.David.我要去見David醫(yī)生Oh,waitasecond.哦等一下Ifyou'regoingtogomeetman,youneedlipgloss.你要是去見男人得抹點(diǎn)兒唇膏呀Oh,thanks,Sophie.哦謝謝SophieOh,no,no,no,no.Okay.哦不不不不好吧IhaveValentinegiftIwanttogiveyou.我準(zhǔn)備了一份情人節(jié)禮物想送給你Oh,hepatitisC?啥丙型肝炎嗎？HappyValentine'sDay.情人節(jié)快樂Lookatme.你看看我Nowlookatyou.再看看你Nowlookatmeagain.你再看看我Doesthislookrighttoyou?你覺得咱倆般配么?Hardtoget...Ilikeit.不容易得手...我喜歡Oh,hey.Sohow'syourfrienddoing?嘿你的朋友身體怎么樣了?Good.AndthanksforthatV.I.P.room.Hefeelslikeamillionbucks很好謝謝你幫我們搞到貴賓病房Earl看上去像有百萬(wàn)身家whichI'msureiswhatitcosts,我肯定那個(gè)病房也是價(jià)格不菲的soIbroughtyoualittlethank-yougift.所以我給你準(zhǔn)備了一份謝禮ThatisnotmyDartmouthshirt.這不是我那件Dartmouth的T恤啊No,that'sheldhostageatthetownhouse.不是那件還被封在我原來(lái)的家里ThissaysWilliamsburg.That'swhereIlivenow.這件上面寫著Williamsburg我現(xiàn)在就住在那里Noway.That'swhereIlive.不是吧我也住在那Yeah,Imovedtherejusttopissmyfatheroff,當(dāng)年我搬去就是為了氣氣我爸butIwounduplovingit.但是住久了還真喜歡那兒Iwounduplovingit,too.我也很喜歡那兒Hey,maybewecouldseeeachothertheresometime...嘿既然住得近我們可以常見面...Youknow,goout?一起出去玩怎么樣Yeah,Idon'tthinkso.還是算了吧I'msorry.I'msorry,what?不好意思不好意思你說(shuō)什么Look,Caroline,it'sbeenreallygreatgettingtoreconnectwithyou,but...Caroline能和你重新聯(lián)系上我是很開心但是...Idon'tseethishappeningagain.我們之間是不可能了Oh.哦Imean,it'smyparents.我是說(shuō)我爸媽也不能答應(yīng)啊Withyourfatherinprison,thewholescandal,你爸現(xiàn)在蹲大牢你一家的丑聞滿天飛Icouldneverbringyouhome.我怎么帶你回家見父母啊Notevenjusttopissoffyourfather?帶回去氣氣你爸也不夠格么?Imean,medatingCarolineChanning...Whatwouldpeoplethink?我是說(shuō)我要是和CarolineChanning約會(huì)...人家會(huì)怎么看我?Ihopeyouunderstand.我希望你能理解Oh,hey,thanksforthetee.哦對(duì)了謝謝你的T恤Niceofeveryonetostopby.難得你們都想著來(lái)看我Didn'tseeCaroline.Shebusytonight?沒看見Caroline她今晚很忙?Oh,no,she'shere.沒有她在這兒呢She'soutthererunningaround,tryingtoswingaboyfriendsituation正在外面上下躥想跟給我們貴賓病房的醫(yī)生withherdoctorfriendwhogotustheV.I.P.hook-up.來(lái)上那么一腿把他弄成男朋友呢Whataboutyou,Max?那你呢Max?NosweetheartonValentine'sDay.沒人等你過情人節(jié)嗎Iworryaboutyou.Beniceifyouhadsomeonespecial.我很擔(dān)心你啊該有個(gè)知心人陪著你Ialreadydid.你不是陪著我嗎Ah,Max,I'monlygoingtobearoundanother...30or40years.Max我這把老骨頭可撐不了...三四十年了Youbetterwidenthenetabit.你該為自己著想啦Visitinghoursareup.Friendshavetoleave.探病時(shí)間過了你的朋友該走了Shecanstay,nurse.She'sfamily.她可以留下護(hù)士我們是一家人Earl,I'mfamily?Earl我是你家人?Yes,andthebestkindoffamily.是的而且是最好的那種家人Youdon'twantmymoney.你不惦記著跟我要錢吶Hey,Earl.Youlookreallygood.嘿Earl你看起來(lái)好多了SodidyouandDr.Davedoitinahospitalcloset?你和Dave醫(yī)生有沒有在醫(yī)院的更衣室來(lái)那么一炮啊Allvery"Grey'sMonotony"?像實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生格雷一樣No,thatwon'tbehappening.沒有那才不可能呢Iaskedhimoutandhesaidhecouldneverdateme,我問他愿不愿意一起出去他說(shuō)他永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)和我處了becauseofmyfatherandquote"whatwouldpeoplethink?"因?yàn)槲野侄状螵z他說(shuō)"別人會(huì)怎么看我啊?"I'msorry.I'msorry,what?不好意思不好意思你說(shuō)啥IfeellikeIwasjusthitbythesamemacktruckthatkilledCupid.我就覺得是被早上那輛撞死丘比特的重型卡車給碾過去了Well,somebody'sabouttogethitbyatruck...好了要碾也不應(yīng)該是你被碾...AMaxtruck.Max神卡車來(lái)也Hey,you,Dr.I-Forget-Your-Name.喂你這個(gè)老娘不記得名字的大夫How?It'swrittenoneverywall.怎么可能?每面墻上都寫著呢還不記得?Okay,Dr.Exit.好吧緊急出口大夫Whatiswrongwithyou?你腦子被門夾了?Doctorsaresupposedtobesensitive.醫(yī)生不是應(yīng)該慈悲為懷的嗎Imean,it'sValentine'sDay,andshehasnothing.況且今天是情人節(jié)她一無(wú)所有Couldn'tyoubelikeeveryotherguyontheplanet你就不能像地球上其他的男的一樣andjustleadheronandnotcallherthenextday?今天先騙騙她第二天不打電話直接玩失蹤不就行了Thatisthedecentthingtodo.那才是正經(jīng)人做的有臉面事Andfortherecord,sheissohoppeduponcandyhearts,我跟你說(shuō)她可饑渴到拿著心心糖當(dāng)藥嗑youwouldhavegottensometonight,fo'sho!今兒晚上你本來(lái)艷福不淺現(xiàn)在全泡湯活該Youjustmadethebiggestmistakeofyourlife.你就剛剛做了你人生最錯(cuò)誤的決定Well,Iguessnobodyknowsmebetterthanyou,girlI'venevermetbefore.呦我猜這世上沒人比你更懂我啊這位從未謀面的大姐AndnowIwouldliketospeaktotheprobonopartofyou,現(xiàn)在我有話要跟你體內(nèi)熱心公益慷慨大方的那一部分說(shuō)whounderstandsthatnothingIjustsaid請(qǐng)你不要讓我剛才說(shuō)的話shouldaffectthatmanintheV.I.P.room.影響到貴賓病房里那位老人Thatwasactuallyaverycoolthingtodo.其實(shí)你幫他這個(gè)忙真是好人Earlisfine.Don'tworry.Earl不會(huì)有事的不用擔(dān)心AndasfarasCarolinegoes,I'msorry,but...對(duì)于Caroline的事情我也很抱歉但是...Herfatherhurtalotofpeople.她爸爸曾傷害了許多許多人Whateveryouputouttherecomesbacktoyou.不管你做了什么善有善報(bào)惡有惡報(bào)Ugh.嗷Whatnow...yougonnathreatentofeedmemynipplesagain?又怎么了...你又要恐嚇我要喂我吃自己的乳頭嗎?No.Actually,someonejustsaidsomethingaboutthethingsyoudocomingbacktoyou,不是啦剛才有人跟我說(shuō)惡有惡報(bào)什么的andIdecidedthesmartmovewastoapologize.所以為了不得惡報(bào)我還是來(lái)道歉Thanks,butit'snotnecessary.謝謝不過你也用不著道歉Actually,you'rethenicestpe