馬新玲keepourschoolclean學(xué)生范文分析

1、九年級(jí)寫作：為了提高口語表達(dá)能力，學(xué)校決定下周五召開一次以keep our school clean 為主題的英語活動(dòng)，請根據(jù)提示用英語寫一篇發(fā)言稿。 1.不隨地吐痰，不亂丟垃圾。2. 不在墻上亂涂亂畫3. 堅(jiān)持每天認(rèn)真打掃室內(nèi)外衛(wèi)生。（80詞左右）（開頭和結(jié)尾已經(jīng)給出）Keep our school cleanGood afternoon everyone,Im glad to take part in this program. I think it is very important to keep our school clean. And its our duty to clean

2、up the school everyday. But how to keep our school clean ?（用問句吸引學(xué)生的注意力，引出下文）Firstly, we cant put the water in our mouth out(此句改為we mustnt spit here and there更好) ,and we cant throw the litter everywhere. Secondly, we are not supposed to draw on the walls. Thirdly, we must clean our classroom carefull

3、y everyday.If we want to keep our school clean, I think we must do the little（改為small） things first. If we do our best, （Im sure）our school will be (用become較好) more and more beautiful。Thats all. Thank you. (九(6) 陳宇軒)keep our school cleanGood afternoon everyone, We have a beautiful school. So we shou

4、ld learn to protect(改為care for) it. There（Here）are several ways to do it（改為we can do/ to do ）：Firstly, we are not supposed to throw rubbish and(改為or) draw on the walls. Then, we should be careful to clean our classrooms everyday. And we should plant some flowers and grass in our school yard.（不足：不隨地吐

5、痰未寫進(jìn)來） As a student. Its our duty to keep our school clean. I think if we do these things well, our school will become much more beautiful.In order to tomorrow, why not do it? （病句，改為：Why not do it together for tomorrow? 或In order for tomorrow, why not do it together?為了明天，我們?yōu)槭裁床恍袆?dòng)起來？ ）Thats all. Than

6、k you. (九(5) 楊雪)Keep our school cleanGood afternoon everyone, School is like our home. We live (and study) here all day. So as a student, It is our duty to keep our school clean. But how to keep our school clean? （用問句吸引學(xué)生的注意力，引出下文）At school, we cant throw litter and (改為or) spit everywhere. Also we c

7、ant draw on the walls. Whats more(該連接詞用得較好), we have to（改為must） clean school (and our classrooms)carefully everyday. If you find someone dont protect our school（病句，改為：dirtying our school），you will(改為should) stop him.I believe if everyone protect(改為care for) our school, our school will get cleaner an

8、d better Thats all. Thank you. (九(5) 吳帥凱)幾個(gè)好的開頭：九（6）郭俠：As a student, we go to school everyday. So school is a very important place for us.九（5）王永清：The natural needs fresh air and keep （改為keeps）water clean（第二種改法：去掉keep ，把water clean 改為clean（adj） water）, （1）The natural needs fresh air and keeps water c

9、lean（2）The natural needs fresh air and clean water Also our school needs to stay away dirty （things） and keeps clean. So I hope we can do some things to keep our school clean.九（6）杜雨芯：We are studying and working in our beautiful school, so keeping our school is everybodys duty. We should do these thi

10、ngs below。參考答案：Good afternoon everyone,We are studying in this school, and it is our duty to keep it clean and tidy.Its not good to spit in public places, such as in the school library, in the classroom. We should neither draw pictures on the walls nor throw rubbish here and there. I think we must m

11、ake it a rule to do some cleaning every day. If everyone tries his best to do something useful for our school, Im sure it will be more and more beautiful.Thats all. Thank you.參考答案：The environmental pollution is more and more serious today, We have no clean water to drink because of water pollution.

12、And when trees are cut down, some animals disappear. There is more and moreDirty smoking in the air. Peoples health has been greatly affected by air, noise and water pollution. Many people died of diseases. In order to live a better life, its time for us to protect our world. Firstly, we shouldnt th

13、row away rubbish everywhere. And we should recycle, reduce and reuse things, for this saves money and reduce pollution. Use things for as long as possible. Dont use plastic bags. Also, we must plant more and more trees and stop people cutting them. We hope our world is more and more beautiful.月考寫作優(yōu)秀

14、范文：Saving the earthThe environment is polluted worse and worse. So protect (動(dòng)詞不能做主語改為protecting) the environment and save (改為saving) the earth is everyones duty.I think we shouldnt throw rubbish here and there. Because (丟了主語it) is good for our healthy(health); Weast(改為Waste) water is poured into the

15、 river. Many of animals and water are polluted.We should keep (要加the) environment clear.We only have(改為have only) one earth. So we should protect the earth. I hope our earth will (become) more beautiful in the furter(拼寫錯(cuò)誤future) 九（6）：李敏 Saving the earthThe earth is like our home, but now it is more

16、and more dirty (改為dirtier and dirtier).Protecting (要加定冠詞the) environment have(改為has) became one of the most (important) questions. Now the forests are cut, The plants and animals are polluted(用killed較好), and the water is dirty ,too.The rubbish (加上has較好) polluted environment and is bad for our health

17、. So please dont throw rubbish everywhere. It is our duty to keep the environment clean.(改錯(cuò)：共有3處錯(cuò)誤)We only have a earth, we should protect it and try our best to make our home more beautiful and become more clean. （本篇作文的不足：該如何做，要采取的改進(jìn)措施太少） 九（6）翁檜林Earth is our home, so its our duty to protect the ear

18、th. But its too difficult (for us) to protect the environment. It is(has) become one of the most difficult problems in our world. (So, its time to此處少了過渡句，上下文不連貫) So ,firstly we must pick up litter while (we) can see litter everywhere. Secondly we should as much(many) as possible to plant trees. Fina

19、lly we dont waste water, if we try ours best to protect the environment. I think ours earth has more beautiful.九（6）萬佳敏Protect the environment is one of the questions in the word.Now , someone is throws rubbish. it is bad for our healthy. it is pollution clean water and maked animals indangered. We s

20、hould do something .But how can we to do? Firstly, I think we should love earth and keep earth clean. Secondly, if we will go to or work, no far , we should by bike not drive the car. Because the car is very pollution. As a people , is our duty to keep earth clean and beautiful.Last I want to say: p

21、rotecting the environment is protecting ourselves .九（6） 劉漢青九（6）王占梅：Firstly，I think we live in a (the same)world, The world is our home. We should keep our home clean. For example, we can do(把do去掉) not throw the rubbish everywhere, dont pour the woset（waste） water into the river. I think my home （wil

22、l）become very beautiful.九（6）黃曉玉As a student, we should love earth. We shouldnt waste water. dont little rubbish somewhere. Waste p九（5）趙寶升aper shouldnt throw everywhere. Because it our duty to keep our city clean, we should try myself best. Dont pollute (or) harm our earth. we should like home, Please saving the earth.九（5）趙寶升：The protect the environment has become one of the biggest problems. Its time to saving our earth. The earth likes our home. And its our duty to protect the environment. Then what should we do ? Fi