雅思大作文解析習(xí)作修改

1、studying abroad大作文學(xué)生習(xí)作原文-感謝暑假班的某位同學(xué)First Draft & First Proof Read第一段： Nowday, as much people know how important study abroad by increased availability, expecially in language. In China, every school open the English course, start at infant school. As part of student choice go abroad study, they can

2、broaden their horizons, knowledge of culture and learn survival skills.請找出其中的錯(cuò)誤，并提出修改建議。第一段詞句修改及翻譯：Nowday, as much people know how important study abroad by increased availability, expecially in language.當(dāng)今由于出國留學(xué)越來越普及，很多人意識到出國留學(xué)的重要性，特別是外語學(xué)習(xí)。Nowadays, many people know the importance of overseas study

3、 due to its increasing availability, especially language education. In China, every school open theEnglish course,start at infant school.在中國從幼兒園開始每個(gè)學(xué)校都開設(shè)英語課。In China, every school has English course, starting from infant school As part of student choice go abroad study, they can broaden their horizo

4、ns, knowledge of culture and learn survival skills.另外，出國留學(xué)還可以拓寬學(xué)生的眼界，學(xué)習(xí)文化知識和生存能力 o As part of students choice of going abroad, they can alsostudying abroad大作文學(xué)生習(xí)作高分修改-第三次修改third draft第一段：Nowadays, many people know the importance of overseas study due to its increased availability, especially languag

5、e education. In China, every school has English course.Since much more international educational programs have been available to Chinese students in the lasttwo decades, one of the most talked-about topics at the moment is the importance of an overseas Idegree. English language proficiency, as a pre

6、-requisite, is often under the spotlight, given that almost every school in China offers English courses at different levels, starting from the infant school.As part of students Choice going abroad, they can also broaden their horizons, learn knowledge of culture and survival skills. Therefore, I ag

7、ree with the view that students should be encouraged to further their studies in foreign countries.Apart from achieving operational command of the language, these students would learn how to appreciate cultural diversity and thus broaden their horizons, not to mention learning survival skills. There

8、fore, I agree with the view that students should be encouraged to further their studies in a foreign country.第二段: It is a good decision for students to go to other countries for the purpose of travelling or study.Few would disagree that it is a wise decision to study or even travel in a foreign land

9、.Students could be more open-minded because of the difference they encounter in the outside world. This overseas experience will shape their future, and benefit their personality development A country is like a big group, including different places, people and cultures. When students go to another c

10、ountry, they will meet different types of people and culture. They should respect other cultures and they could learn different words, becoming more sociable.Foreign universities better prepare students with a tolerant mind via interaction with fellow scholars from all walks of life and this very ex

11、perience guarantees a promising future, or even a great personality. A case in point is that college graduates with an overseas educational background enj oy nearly 30% higher starting salary than those who are educated only in China, according to a job market analysis.第三段: Besides studying knowledg

12、e, students would also learn how to survive.Survival skill is another by-product of overseas experience.Some schools open the survival skill course, but I believe this is just a small part of learning survival skills. The major part of survival skill learning should be done through real life activit

13、ies.Some courses on survival skills, representing real life problem-solving scenarios, are made compulsory as part of the school curriculum. In china, mostfamilies have only one child, and this child gets all the love from the whole family members and therefore they become spoiled. If they go to new

14、 places without friends and families, they have to learn how to be independent as their first lesson, such as cooking, washing clothes, and living with others. And I believe this is the best way to grow up.And these courses proved to be effective to students of Chinese nationality in particular, as

15、most Chinese children are spoiled to some extent, thanks to the notorious one-child policy. So you have them pseudo-sophisticated in the academic world, but when it comes to survival skills, they stand at probably eight years of age. And the best prescription for this is to involve them in activitie

16、s like cooking or doing one laundry which requires teamwork.第四段： On the other hand, overseas students would be immersed inEnglish in order to learn the language efficiently, because Chinese education steeps in rote learning and is test-oriented, not to mention the fact that it also stifles creativit

17、y. But these students might feel homesick and can not afford the expensive school expenditure. So only rich family could choose to do so and hopefully, it will be changed in the future social developmentHowever, critics talk darkly about the pitfalls of overseas study. Considering Chinese education

18、steeps in rote learning and stifle creativity, those students who are determined to step on the foreign soil are more likely to immerse themselves in English for better integration into the mainstream society or acquiring English language skills. As a trade-off, they end up feeling homesick, or at w

19、orst, losing cultural identity. Besides, it seems only affluent families are privileged MMto have access to studying abroad due to costly tuition fee and living expenses.第五段：In conclusion, it is beneficial to study abroad for the students who are independent or from the well-to-do families.In conclu

20、sion, it is of great benefits to study abroad for most students,especially those who are independent or from the well-to-do families, for the fact that students could be better educated as opposed to learning in his or her own country: China in this case.studying abroa大作文學(xué)生習(xí)作第三次修改后的文章third draft通順第一

21、段：Since much more international educational programs have been available to Chinese students in the lasttwo decades, one of the most talked-about topics at the moment is the importance of an overseas degree. English language proficiency, as a pre-requisite, is often under the spotlight, given that a

22、lmost every school in China offers English courses at different levels, starting from the infant school. Apart from achieving operational command of the language, these students would learn how to appreciate cultural diversity and thus broaden their horizons, not to mention learning survival skills.

23、 Therefore, I agree with the view that students should be encouraged to further their studies in a foreign country.第一段發(fā)表觀點(diǎn)第一段.Few would disagree that it is a wise decision to study or even travel in a foreign land.正文段分論點(diǎn) Foreign universities better prepare students with a tolerant mind via interacti

24、on with fellow scholars from all walks of life and this very experience guarantees a promising future, or even a great personality. A case in point is that college graduates with an overseas educational background enjoy nearly 30% higher starting salary than those who are educated only in China, acc

25、ording to a job market analysis.第三段：Survival skill is another by-product of overseas experience.正文段分 論 點(diǎn) Some courses on survival skills, representing real life problem-solving scenarios, are made compulsory as part of the school curriculum. And these courses proved to be effective to students of Ch

26、inese nationality in particular, as most Chinese children are spoiled to some extent, thanks to the notorious one-child policy. So you have them pseudo-sophisticated in the academic world, but when it comes to survival skills, they stand at probably eight years of age. And the best prescription fort

27、his istoinvolvethem in activities like cooking or doing ones laundry which requires teamwork.第四段:However, critics talk darkly about the pitfalls of overseas study. 正文 段分論點(diǎn) Considering Chinese education steeps in rote learning and stifles creativity, those students who are determined to step on the f

28、oreign soil are more likely to immerse themselves in English for better integration into the mainstream society or acquiring English language skills. As a trade-off, they end up feeling homesick, or at worst, losing cultural identity. Besides, it seems only affluent families are privileged to have a

29、ccess to studying abroad due to costly tuition fee and living expenses.第五段：In conclusion, it is of great benefits to study abroad for most students, 末段復(fù)述觀點(diǎn) especially those who are independent or from the well-to-do families, for the fact that students could be better educated as opposed to learning

30、 in his or her own country: China in this case.broaden their horizons, learn knowledge of culture and survival skills.第二段： students go to other countries travel or study is a good decision. The world outside is different than before, it can open- minded. This study abroad experience will impact the

31、future also its benefit by personality.請找出其中的錯(cuò)誤，并提出修改建議。第二段詞句修改及翻譯：students go to other countries travel or study is a good decision.學(xué)生到國外旅行或?qū)W習(xí)的決定是正確的。It is a good decision for students to go to other countries for the purpose of travelling or study. The world outside is different than before, it ca

32、n open-minded.夕卜面的世界和以前不同了，這可以開闊他們的眼界。Students could be more open-minded because of the difference they encounter inthe outside world.the outside world.This study abroad experience willimpact the future also it、benefit by personality.這樣的出國經(jīng)歷會影響他們的將來，對他們的性格也有好處。This overseas experience will shape the

33、ir future, and benefit their personality development第三段： A country like a big group, include place, people and culture. When students go to another country, they meet different types of people and different culture. They should respect the culture, also they can learn different words, becoming more

34、social. Study abroad not only study knowledge, how to survival is another subject Some of school opens the course called survival skills, butthat is a small part of learning survival, the most part is in the life activities. In China, most family have only one child, this child got all love from the

35、 whole family memory, they become spoil and now they going to the new place, no friend, no families, the first lesson is how to be independence, that is a kind of survival skills, for example cooking, washing clothes, live with others, this is the best way to grew up.請找出其中的錯(cuò)誤，并提出修改建議。第三段詞句修改及翻譯：A co

36、untry like a big group, include place, people and culture.一個(gè)國家就像一個(gè)大集體，有不同的地方，人和文化 o A country is like a big group, including different places, people and cultures. When students go to another country, they meet different types of people and different culture.當(dāng)學(xué)生來到另一個(gè)國 家的時(shí)候，他們會接觸到不同的人和文化。When student

37、s go to another country, they will meet different types of people and culture.They should respect the culture, also they can learn different words,becoming morebecoming moresocial.他們應(yīng)該尊重不同的文化，而且他們可以學(xué)到不同的語言，變得更善于社交。They should respect other cultures and they could learn different words, becoming more

38、 sociable.海外學(xué)生不但可以學(xué)到知識，生存能力也是重要的一課。Study abroad not only study knowledge, how to survival is another subject Besides studying knowledge, students would also learn how to survive. Some of school opens the course called survival skills, but that is a small part of learning survival, the mostpartis in

39、the life activities. 有些學(xué) 校會開設(shè)生存技能課，但這僅是生存技能學(xué)習(xí)的一小局部，大局部因 該來源于日常生活。Some schools open the survival skill course, but I believe this is j ust a small part of learning survival skills. The maj or part of survival skill learning should be done through real life activities. In China, most family have only

40、one child, this child got all love from the whole family memory, they become spoil and now they going to the new place, no friend, no families, the first lesson is how to be independence, that is a kind of survival skills, for example cooking, washing clothes, live with others, this is the best way

41、to grew up. 大多 數(shù)的中國家庭只有一個(gè)孩子，他會得到來自所有家人的愛，會被寵 壞。現(xiàn)在他如果去一個(gè)新的地方，沒有朋友，沒有家人，第一課就要 學(xué)會如何獨(dú)立，這也是一種生存技能。比方做飯，洗衣服，如何與人 相處。這將是他們成長最好的方式。In china, most families have only one child, and this child gets all the love from the whole family members and therefore they become spoiled. If they go to new places without f

42、riends and families, they have to learn how to be independent as their first lesson, such as cooking, washing clothes,and living with others. And I believe this is the best way to grow up.第四段:In the other hand, go abroad study is immersed in English,Chinese education steeped in rote learning and tes

43、t-oriented, not to mention that stifle creativity. Homesick is always happening in those students and the expensive school expenditure, study abroad only rich family could choice, hopely it will be changed in the future social development In conclusion, it is benefit for the students to study abroad

44、.請找出其中的錯(cuò)誤，并提出修改建議。第四段詞句修改及翻譯:In the other hand, go abroad study isimmersed in English, Chinese education steeped in rote learning and test-oriented, not to mention that stifle creativity. Homesick is always happening in those students and the expensive school expenditure,study abroad only rich famil

45、y could choice, hopely it will be changedin the future social developmentin the future social development另一方面，雖然出國留學(xué)給他們帶來全英語的環(huán)境，畢竟中國教育太過側(cè)重死記硬背和應(yīng)試教育，這還 會阻礙學(xué)生的創(chuàng)造力，但身在異鄉(xiāng)，他們會很想家，而且學(xué)費(fèi)昂貴， 只是富裕家庭的選擇。希望在將來的社會開展中這樣的情況會有所改 變。On the other hand, overseas students would be immersed in English in order to learn t

46、he language efficiently, because Chinese education steeps in rote learning and is test-oriented, not to mention the fact that it also stifles creativity. But these students might feel homesick and can not afford the expensive school expenditure. So only rich family could choose to do so and hopefull

47、y, it will be changed in the future social development In conclusion, it is benefit出國留學(xué)對學(xué)生還是很for the students to study abroad.總的來說有益的。In conclusion, it is beneficial for the students to study abroad.studying abroad大作文學(xué)生習(xí)作結(jié)構(gòu)修改一 第二次修改second draft第一段：當(dāng)今由于出國留學(xué)越來越普及，很多人意識到出國留學(xué)的重 要性,特別是外語學(xué)習(xí)。在中國從幼兒園開始每個(gè)學(xué)校都

48、開設(shè)英語課。另外，出國留學(xué)還可以拓寬學(xué)生的眼界，學(xué)習(xí)文化知識和生存能力。所以，我非常支持學(xué)生出國留學(xué)。第二段：學(xué)生到國外旅行或?qū)W習(xí)的決定是正確的。外面的世界和以前 不同了，這可以開闊他們的眼界。這樣的出國經(jīng)歷會影響他們的將來，對 他們的性格也有好處。一個(gè)國家就像一個(gè)大集體，有不同的地方， 人 和文化。當(dāng)學(xué)生來到另一個(gè)國家的時(shí)候，他們會接觸到不同的人和文 化。他們應(yīng)該尊重不同的文化，而且他們可以學(xué)到不同的語言，變得 更善于社交。第三段：海外留學(xué)生不但可以學(xué)到知識，生存能力也是重要的一課。有些學(xué)校會開設(shè)生存技能課，但這僅是生存技能學(xué)習(xí)的一小局部，大 局部因該來源于日常生活。大多數(shù)的中國家庭只有一個(gè)

49、孩子，他會 得到來自所有家人的愛，會被寵壞。現(xiàn)在他如果去一個(gè)新的地方，沒 有朋友，沒有家人，第一課就要學(xué)會如何獨(dú)立，這也是一種生存技能。比 如做飯，洗衣服，如何與人相處。這將是他們成長最好的方式。第四段：另一方面，雖然出國留學(xué)給他們帶來全英語的環(huán)境，畢竟中 國教育太過側(cè)重死記硬背和應(yīng)試教育，這還會阻礙學(xué)生的創(chuàng)造力，但 身在異鄉(xiāng)，他們會很想家，而且學(xué)費(fèi)昂貴，只是富裕家庭的選擇。希望 在將來的社會開展中這樣的情況會有所改變。第五段：總的來說，出國留學(xué)對家境富裕或比擬獨(dú)立的學(xué)生來說還是 很有益的。studying abroa大作文學(xué)生習(xí)作第二次修改后的文章proof read 2第一段： Nowad

50、ays, many people know the importance of overseas study due to its increased availability, especially language education. In China, every school has English course, starting from infant school. As part of students,choice of going abroad, they can also broadentheir horizons, learn knowledge of culture and survival skills. Therefore, I agree with the view that students should be encouraged to further their studies in a foreign country.第一段說明觀點(diǎn)第二段： It is a good decision for students to go to other countries for the purpose of travelling or study.本段分論點(diǎn)：了解不同文化 St