海淀一模應(yīng)用文講評課件

1、海淀一模應(yīng)用文講評第一節(jié) （15分）假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高三學(xué)生李華。你得知故宮正在招聘暑期義務(wù)英文講解員, 請你給相關(guān)部門負(fù)責(zé)人寫一封申請信，內(nèi)容包括：1. 介紹你的基本信息；2. 說明你的優(yōu)勢；3. 表示你希望被錄用。注意：1.詞數(shù)不少于50；2.開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。Dear Sir or Madam,_Sincerely, Li Hua問題：1 篇章結(jié)構(gòu)，部分同學(xué)有所遺忘（在應(yīng)聘英語校園網(wǎng)編輯時(shí)就強(qiáng)調(diào)過）很多學(xué)生缺少段落過渡句，qualification間缺少連詞。1段 自我介紹，寫作意圖2段 個(gè)人優(yōu)勢3段 表示愿望每個(gè)優(yōu)勢間要有過渡詞First, besides, in add

2、ition.可用的詞組：申請職位apply for the post(position) of適合這個(gè)工作 be the right person for the job/ be qualified for the job出于以下原因 for the reasons below個(gè)人優(yōu)勢 strength2核心詞不到位，如：義務(wù)英文講解員寫成：introducer, translator, explainer,interpreter, speaker,commander, instructor, introducing volunteer,應(yīng)該是English volunteer guide;

3、故宮寫成Gugong，應(yīng)該是the Forbidden City或 the Palace Museum.3句子語言邏輯混亂。這是一位同學(xué)的第一段。Im writing to apply for the vacant position as an English guide in the Forbidden City. My name is Li Hua, a senior three student from Hongxing Middle School. I think I am qualified for the reasons below.(畫線句子應(yīng)該放到句首）I have won s

4、everal awards in English Speech Contest. I am capable of giving vivid introduction fluently and accurately. (中間標(biāo)點(diǎn)改成逗號，加上連詞so)4用詞及表述（越是好班越要雕琢語言）(1)Knowing that English volunteer guides are in need, I would like apply for the post.改成Knowing that you are recruiting the English volunteer guides.或 Knowin

5、g that some English volunteer guides for the Forbidden City are wanted this Summer vacation,.(2) I have (加上 possessed) quite a few qualities to meet your standard( requirements)（3）With the notes Ive taken about the Forbidden City, I will make the visitors indulged in the history our country holds.改成

6、With my abundant knowledge of Chinese history, I aassure that I can make an explicit and vivid introduction to the foreigners there. 5很多基本詞匯還不到位，彰顯基礎(chǔ)薄弱。如：apply for申請be qualified for勝任for the reasons below/ for the following reasons出于以下原因as follows如下have a good command of很好的掌握have a keen interest in對

7、。感興趣6拼寫（略）7交際用語不當(dāng)I sincerely hope you can put me into consideration./ I would appreciate it if you could take a considerable of my application/ If you can take me into consideration, I would be pleasure改成I would appreciate it if you could favarably take me into consideration.2班：鄒翕，劉欣宇，趙宇帥，吳沐喧，王樸璠，賈寧

8、南3班：陳厶文，賈昆，朱冠州，羅雨旸，何家寶8作者申請故宮義務(wù)英文講解員，所以在談個(gè)人優(yōu)勢方面要有說服力，要趨于合理，不建議寫無關(guān)或不太相關(guān)信息。如：這個(gè)經(jīng)歷對于我在承認(rèn)意識會(huì)很有幫助可以增加我的信心?；蛘卟簧偻瑢W(xué)寫了很多對于自己的好處如豐富我的生活；拓展視野不是不可以但缺乏實(shí)質(zhì)性優(yōu)勢缺乏說服力。Irrelevant or less relevant qualifications:（不宜寫的太多）Help me to broaden my horizons Make more foreign friends Good opportunity to practice / improve my o

9、ral EnglishPersonal qualities: energetic / helpful / kind-heartedEnglish level: writing competition2，3班無關(guān)信息Aimed at improving my oral Speaking, I dont need to be paid for e job.Im willing to help otheres and I feel a sense of delight after the voluntary work.Last but not least, I should the responsi

10、bility to do everything I could do, and I will spare no effort to do this work well.Im willing to cooerate with others.Im easy-going and always enjoy making friends.9卷面（字體潦草，字太小，改動(dòng)太多等）后期練字很重要（拼顏值）It齊菲，楊琪，張簡，胡迪，武建平請把作文打出來假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)高三的學(xué)生李華，獲悉美國某公益組織在北京的一家慈善基金會(huì)正在招聘實(shí)習(xí)生，主要負(fù)責(zé)翻譯等工作。請寫一封自薦信，申請成為該慈善基金會(huì)的實(shí)習(xí)生。信的內(nèi)

11、容包括：1. 表達(dá)愿望；2. 提供至少三條自薦理由（例如：扎實(shí)的英語功底）；3. 懇請獲準(zhǔn)。注意：1. 詞數(shù)不少于50；2. 開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。提示詞：慈善基金會(huì) charitable foundation 實(shí)習(xí)生 internDear Sir or Madam,_Sincerely,Li HuaDear Sir or Madam,Im writing to apply for working as an intern at your charitable foundation.Im presently a student of Senior 3. I can speak Eng

12、lish fluently and Im often praised for my English writing as well. Besides, Im an active and enthusiastic person who enjoys working with different people and can adapt well to new situations. Charity is a noble cause, and I always have a strong passion for it. I believe that being an intern at your foundation will be a won