loveisfallacy中英文對照復(fù)習進程

loveisfallacy中英文對照LoveisFallacy

byMaxShulmanCoolwasIandlogical.Keen,calculating,perspicacious,acuteandastute—Iwasallofthese.Mybrainwasaspowerfulasadynamo,preciseasachemist'sscales,aspenetratingasascalpel.And—thinkofit!—Ionlyeighteen.Itisnotoftenthatonesoyounghassuchagiantintellect.Take,forexample,PeteyBellows,myroommateattheuniversity.Sameage,samebackground,butdumbasanox.Aniceenoughfellow,youunderstand,butnothingupstairs.Emotionaltype.Unstable.Impressionable.Worstofall,afaddist.Fads,Isubmit,aretheverynegationofreason.Tobesweptupineverynewcrazethatcomesalong,tosurrenderoneselftoidiocyjustbecauseeverybodyelseisdoingit—this,tome,istheacmeofmindlessness.Not,however,toPetey.OneafternoonIfoundPeteylyingonhisbedwithanexpressionofsuchdistressonhisfacethatIimmediatelydiagnosedappendicitis."Don'tmove,"Isaid,"Don'ttakealaxative.I'llgetadoctor.”"Raccoon,"hemumbledthickly."Raccoon?”Isaid,pausinginmyflight."Iwantaraccooncoat,"hewailed.Iperceivedthathistroublewasnotphysical,butmental."Whydoyouwantaraccooncoat?”"Ishouldhaveknownit,"hecried,poundinghistemples."Ishouldhaveknownthey'dcomebackwhentheCharlestoncameback.LikeafoolIspentallmymoneyfortextbooks,andnowIcan'tgetaraccooncoat.”"Canyoumean,"Isaidincredulously,"thatpeopleareactuallywearingraccooncoatsagain?”(iAltheBigMenonCampusarewearingthem.Where'veyoubeen?”"Inthelibrary,"Isaid,namingaplacenotfrequentedbyBigMenonCampus.Heleapedfromthebedandpacedtheroom.T'vegottohavearaccooncoat,"hesaidpassionately.T'vegotto!”"etey,why?Lookatitrationally.Raccooncoatsareunsanitary.Theyshed.Theysmellbad.Theyweightoomuch.They'reunsightly.They"Youdon'tunderstand,"heinterruptedimpatiently.Tt'sthethingtodo.Don'tyouwanttobeintheswim?”"No,"saidtruthfully."Well,Ido,"hedeclared.T'dgiveanythingforaraccooncoat.Anything!”Mybrain,thatprecisioninstrument,slippedintohighgear.aAnything?”Iasked,lookingathimnarrowly.aAnything,"heaffirmedinringingtones.Istrokedmychinthoughtfully.ItsohappenedthatIknewwheretogetmyhandsonaraccooncoat.Myfatherhadhadoneinhisundergraduatedays;itlaynowinatrunkintheatticbackhome.ItalsohappenedthatPeteyhadsomethingIwanted.Hedidnhave'titexactly,butatleasthehadfirstrightsonit.Irefertohisgirl,PollyEspy.IhadlongcovetedPollyEspy.Letmeemphasizethatmydesireforthisyoungwomanwasnotemotionalinnature.Shewas,tobesure,agirlwhoexcitedtheemotions,butIwasnotonetoletmyheartrulemyhead.IwantedPollyforashrewdlycalculated,entirelycerebralreason.Iwasafreshmaninlawschool.InafewyearsIwouldbeoutinpractice.Iwaswellawareoftheimportanceoftherightkindofwifeinfurtheringalawyer'scareer.ThesuccessfullawyersIhadobservedwere,almostwithoutexception,marriedtobeautiful,gracious,intelligentwomen.Withoneomission,Pollyfittedthesespecificationsperfectly.Beautifulshewas.Shewasnotyetofpin-upproportions,butIfeltthattimewouldsupplythelack.Shealreadyhadthemakings.Graciousshewas.BygraciousImeanfullofgraces.Shehadanerectnessofcarriage,aneaseofbearing,apoisethatclearlyindicatedthebestofbreeding.Attablehermannerswereexquisite.IhadseenherattheKozyKampusKornereatingthespecialtyofthehouse—asandwichthatcontainedscrapsofpotroast,gravy,choppednuts,andadipperofsauerkraut—withoutevengettingherfingersmoist.Intelligentshewasnot.Infact,sheveeredintheoppositedirection.ButIbelievedthatundermyguidanceshewouldsmartenup.Atanyrate,itwasworthatry.Itis,afterall,easiertomakeabeautifuldumbgirlsmartthantomakeanuglysmartgirlbeautiful.TOC\o"1-5"\h\z"Petey,"Isaid,"areyouinlovewithPollyEspy?”"Ithinkshe'sakeenkid,"hereplied,"butIdon'tknowifyou'dcallitlove.Why?"Doyou,"Iasked,"haveanykindofformalarrangementwithher?Imeanareyougoingsteadyoranythinglikethat?”"No.Weseeeachotherquiteabit,butwebothhaveotherdates.Why?""Isthere,"Iasked,"anyothermanforwhomshehasaparticularfondness?”"NotthatIknowof.Why?”Inoddedwithsatisfaction."Inotherwords,ifyouwereoutofthepicture,thefieldwouldbeopen.Isthatright?”"Iguessso.Whatareyougettingat?”"Nothing,nothing,"Isaidinnocently,andtookmysuitcaseoutthecloset."Whereareyougoing?”askedPetey."Homeforweekend."Ithrewafewthingsintothebag."Listen,"hesaid,clutchingmyarmeagerly,"whileyou'rehome,youcouldn'tgetsomemoneyfromyouroldman,couldyou,andlendittomesoIcanbuyaraccooncoat?""Imaydobetterthanthat,"Isaidwithamysteriouswinkandclosedmybagandleft."Look,"IsaidtoPeywhenIgotbackMondaymorning.Ithrewopenthesuitcaseandrevealedthehuge,hairy,gamyobjectthatmyfatherhadworninhisStutzBearcatin1925."HolyToledo!”saidPeteyreverently.Heplungedhishandsintotheraccooncoatandthenhisface."HolyToledo!"herepeatedfifteenortwentytimes."Wouldyoulikeit?”Iasked."Ohyes!”hecried,clutchingthegreasypelttohim.Thenacannylookcameintohiseyes."Whatdoyouwantforit?”"Yourgirl."Isaid,mincingnowords."Polly?”hesaidinahorrifiedwhisper."YouwantPolly?”"That'sright.”

Heflungthecoatfromhim."Never,"hesaidstoutly.Ishrugged."Okay.Ifyoudon'twanttobeintheswim,Iguessit'syourbusiness.Isatdowninachairandpretendedtoreadabook,butoutofthecornerofmyeyeIkeptwatchingPetey.Hewasatornman.Firsthelookedatthecoatwiththeexpressionofawaifatabakerywindow.Thenheturnedawayandsethisjawresolutely.Thenhelookedbackatthecoat,withevenmorelonginginhisface.Thenheturnedaway,butwithnotsomuchresolutionthistime.Backandforthhisheadswiveled,desirewaxing,resolutionwaning.Finallyhedidn'tturnawayatall;hejuststoodandstaredwithmad"Orgoingsteadyorhesaid"Orgoingsteadyorhesaidthickly."Itisn'tasthoughIwasovewithPolly,anythinglikethat.”"That'sright,"Imurmured."What'sPollytome,ormetoPolly?—justafewlaughs,that"Not—justafewlaughs,that"It'sjustbeenacasualkick"Tryonthecoat,"saidI.Hecomplied.Thecoatbunchedhighoverhisearsanddroppedallthewaydowntohisshoetops.Helookedlikeamoundofdeadraccoons."Fitsfine,"hesaidhappily.Irosefrommychair."Isitadeal?"Iasked,extendingmyhand.Heswallowed."It'sadeal,"hesaidandshookmyhand."Gee,thatwasadelishdinner,"Gee,thatwasamarvymovie,"Gee,Ihadasensayshtime,shesaidasshe"sheIhadmyfirstdatewithPollythefollowingevening.Thiswasinthenatureofasurvey;IwantedtofindoutjusthowmuchworkIhadtodotogetherminduptothestandardIrequired.Itookherfirsttodinner.welefttherestaurant.ThenItookhertoa"Gee,thatwasadelishdinner,"Gee,thatwasamarvymovie,"Gee,Ihadasensayshtime,shesaidasshe"sheIwentbacktomyroomwithaheavyheart.Ihadgravelyunderestimatedthesizeofmytask.Thisgirl'slackofinformationwasterrifying.Norwoulditbeenoughmerelytosupplyherwithinformation.Firstshehadtobetaughttothink.Thisloomedasaprojectofnosmalldimensions,andatfirstIwastemptedtogiveherbacktoPetey.ButthenIgottothinkingaboutherabundantphysicalcharmsandaboutthewaysheenteredaroomandthewayshehandledaknifeandfork,andIdecidedtomakeaneffort.Iwentaboutit,asinallthings,systematically.Igaveheracourseinlogic.IthappenedthatI,asalawstudent,wastakingacourseinlogicmyself,soIhadallthefactsatmyfingertips."Poll',"IsaidtoherwhenIpickedheruponournextctanghtwearegoingovertotheKnollandtalk.”"Oo,terrif,"shereplied.OnethingIwillsayforthisgirl:youwouldgofartofindanothersoagreeable.WewenttotheKnoll,thecampustrystingplace,andwesatdownunderanoldoak,andshelookedatmeexpectantly."Whatarewegoingtotalkabout?”sheasked."Magnif,shesaid."Magnif,shesaid.Shethoughtthisoverforaminuteanddecidedshelikedit.Logic,Isaid,clearingmythroat,isthescienceofthinking.Beforewecanthinkcorrectly,wemustfirstlearntorecognizeLogic,Isaid,clearingmythroat,isthescienceofthinking.Beforewecanthink"Wowdow!”shecried,clappingherhandsdelightedly.Iwinced,butwentbravelyon."FirstletusexaminethefallacycalledDictoSimpliciter.""Byallmeans,heurged,battingherlasheseagerly."DictoSimplicitermeansanargumentbasedonanunqualifiedgeneralization.Forexample:Exerciseisgood.Thereforeeverybodyshouldexercise.”"Iagree,"saidPollyearnestly."Imeanexerciseiswonderful.Itmeitateithebodyandeverything.”"Polly,"Isaidgently,"theargumentisaEE^cyxeisgoodisanunqualifiedgeneralization.Forinstance,ifyouhaveheartdisease,exerciseisbad,notgood.Manypeopleareorderedbytheirdoctorsnottoexercise.Youmustqualifythegeneralization.Youmustsayexerciseisusuallygood,orexerciseisgoodformostpeople.OtherwiseyouhavecommittedaDictoSimpliciter.Doyousee?""No,"sheconfessed."Butthisismarvy.Domore!Domore!”"Itwillbebetterifyoustoptuggingatmysleeve,"Itoldher,andwhenshedesisted,Icontinued."NextwetakeupafallacycalledHastyGeneralization.Listencarefully:Youcan'tspeakFrench.PeteyBellowscan'tspeakFrench.ImustthereforeconcludethatnobodyattheUniversityofMinnesotacanspeakFrench.”"Really?”saidPolly,amazed.Nobody?”Ihidmyexasperation."Polly,it'safallacy.Thegeneralizationisreachedtoohastily.Therearetoofewinstancestosupportsuchaconclusion.”"Knowanymorefallacies?"sheaskedbreathlessly."Thisismorefunthandancing力even.Ifoughtoffawaveofdespair.Iwasgettingnowherewiththisgirl,absolutelynowhere.Still,Iamnothingifnotpersistent.Icontinued."NextcomesPostHoc.Listentothis:Let'snottakeBillonourpicnic.Everytimewetakehimoutwithus,itrains.""Iknowsomebodyjustlikethat,"sheexclaimed."Agirlba<SulaoBecker—hernameis.Itneverfails.Everysingletimewetakeheronapicnic"Polly,"Isaidsharply,"it'safallacy.EulaBeckeauteesttnerain.Shethasnoconnectionwiththerain.YouareguiltyofPostHocifyoublameEulaBecker."'T'llneverdoitagain,"shepromisedcontritely."Areyoumadatme?"Isighed."No,Polly,I'mnotmad.”"Thentellmesomemorefallacies.”"Allright.Let'stryContradictoryPremises.”"Yes,let's,"shechirped,blinkinghereyeshappily.Ifrowned,butplungedahead."Here'sanexampleofContradictoryPremises:IfGodcandoanything,canHemakeastonesoheavythatHewon'tbeabletoliftit?""Ofcourse,"sherepliedpromptly."ButifHecandoanything,Hecanliftthestone,"Ipointedout."Yeah,"shesaidthoughtfully."Well,thenIguessHecan'tmakethestone.”"ButHecandoanything,"Indediher.

Shescratchedherpretty,emptyhead.T'mallconfused,"sheadmitted."Ofcourseyouare.Becausewhenthepremisesofanargumentcontradicteachother,therecanbenoargument.Ifthereisanirresistibleforce,therecanbenoimmovableobject.Ifthereisanimmovableobject,therecanbenoirresistibleforce.Getit?”"Tellmemoreofthiskeenstuff,"shesaideagerly.Iconsultedmywatch."Ithinkwe'dbettercallitanight.I'lltakeyouhomenow,andyougooverallthethingsyou'velearned.We'llhaveanothersessiontomorrownight.”Idepositedheratthegirls'dormitory,wheresheassuredmethatshehadhadaperfectlyterrifevening,andIwentglumlyhometomyroom.Peteylaysnoringinhisbed,theraccooncoathuddledlikeagreathairybeastathisfeet.ForamomentIconsideredwakinghimandtellinghimthathecouldhavehisgirlback.Itseemedclearthatmyprojectwasdoomedtofailure.Thegirlsimplyhadalogic-proofhead."OurfirstfallacytonightiscalledAdButthenIreconsidered.Ihadwastedoneevening;Imightaswellwasteanother.Whoknew?Maybesomewhereintheextinctcraterofhermindafewmembersstillsmoldered.MaybesomehowIcouldfanthemintoflame.Admittedlyitwasnotaprospectfraughtwithhope,butIdecided"OurfirstfallacytonightiscalledAdSeatedundertheoakthenexteveningIsaid,Misericordiam.”Shequiveredwithdelight."Listenclosely,"Isaid."Amanappliesforajob.Whenthebossaskshimwhathisqualificationsare,herepliesthathehasawifeandsixchildrenathome,thewifeisahelplesscripple,thechildrenhavenothingtoeat,noclothestowear,noshoesontheirfeet,therearenobedsinthehouse,nocoalinthecellar,andwinteriscoming.AtearrolleddowneachofPolly'spinkcheeks."Oh,thisisawful,awful,"shesobbed."Yes,it'sawful,"Iagreed,"butit'snoargument.Themanneveransweredthebossquestionabouthisqualifications.Insteadheappealedtotheboss'ssympathy.HecommittedthefallacyofAdMisericordiam.Doyouunderstand?"Haveyougotahandkerchief?”sheblubbered.Ihandedherahandkerchiefandtriedtokeepfromscreamingwhileshewipedhereyes."Next,"Isaidinacarefullycontrolledtone,"wewilldiscussFalseArialogy.Hereanexample:Studentsshouldbeallowedtolookattheirtextbooksduringexaminations.Afterall,surgeonshaveX-raystoguidethemduringanoperation,lawyershavebriefstoguidethemduringatrial,carpentershaveblueprintstoguidethemwhentheyarebuildingahouse.Why,then,shouldn'tstudentsbeallowedtolookattheirtextbooksduringanexamination?”"Therenow,"shesaidenthusiastically,"isthemostmarvyideaI'veheardinyears."Polly,"Isaidtestily,"theargumentisallawtorsg,.lawyers,andcarpentersaren'ttakingatesttoseehowmuchtheyhavelearned,butstudentsare.Thesituationsarealtogetherdifferent,andyoucan'tmakeananalogybetweenthem.”"Istillthinkit'sagoodidea,"saidPolly."Nuts,"Imuttered.DoggedlyIpressedon."Nextwe'lltryHypothesisContrarytoFact."Soundsyummy,"wasPolly'sreaction.Listen:IfMadameCuriehadnothappenedtoleaveaphotographicplateinadrawerwithachunkofpitchblende,theworldtodaywouldnotknowaboutradium.""True,true,"saidPolly,noddingherhead"Didyouseethemovie?Oh,itjustknockedmeout.ThatWalterPidgeonissodreamy.Imeanhefracturesme.”"IfyoucanforgetMr.Pidgeonforamoment,"Isaidcoldly,"Iwouldliketopointoutthatstatementisafallacy.MaybeMadameCuriewouldhavediscoveredradiumatsomelaterdate.Maybesomebodyelsewouldhavediscoveredit.Maybeanynumberofthingswouldhavehappened.Youcan'tstartwithahypothesisthatisnottrueandthendrawanysupportableconclusionsfromit.”"TheyoughttoputWalterPidgeoninmorepictures,"saidPolly,"Ihardlyeverseehimanymore.”O(jiān)nemorechance,Idecided.Butjustonemore.Thereisalimittowhatfleshandbloodcanbear."ThenextfallacyiscalledPoisoningtheWell.”"Howcute!”shegurgled."Twomenarehavingadebate.Thefirstonegetsupandsays,'Myopponentisanotoriousliar.Youcan'tbelieveawordthatheisgoingtosay.'...Now,Polly,think.Thinkhard.What'swrong?”Iwatchedhercloselyassheknithercreamybrowinconcentration.Suddenlyaglimmerofintelligence——thefirstIhadseen—cameintohereyes.Tt'snotfair,"shesaidwithindignation."It'snotabitfair.Whatchancehasthesecondmangotifthefirstmancallshimaliarbeforeheevenbeginstalking?”"Right!"Icriedexultantly."Onehundredpercentright.It'snotfair.Thefirstmanhaspoisonedthewellbeforeanybodycoulddrinkfromit.Hehashamstrunghisopponentbeforehecouldevenstart...Polly,I'mproudofyou.”"Pshaws,"shemurmured,blushingwithpleasure."Yousee,mydear,thesethingsaren'tsohard.Allyouhavetodoisconcentrate.Think—examine—evaluate.Comenow,let'srevieweverythingwehavelearned.”"Fireaway,"shesaidwithnairywaveofherhand.HeartenedbytheknowledgethatPollywasnotaltogetheracretin,Ibeganalong,patientreviewofallIhadtoldher.OverandoverandoveragainIcitedinstances,pointedoutflaws,kepthammeringawaywithoutletup.Itwaslikediggingatunnel.Atfirst,everythingwaswork,sweat,anddarkness.IhadnoideawhenIwouldreachthelight,orevenifIwould.ButIpersisted.Ipoundedandclawedandscraped,andfinallyIwasrewarded.Isawachinkoflight.Andthenthechinkgotbiggerandthesuncamepouringinandallwasbright.Fivegruelingnightswiththistook,butitwasworthit.IhadmadealogicianoutofPolly;Ihadtaughthertothink.Myjobwasdone.Shewasworthyofme,atlast.Shewasafitwifeforme,aproperhostessformymanymansions,asuitablemotherformywellheeledchildren.ItmustnotbethoughtthatIwaswithoutloveforthisgirl.Quitethecontrary.JustasPygmalionlovedtheperfectwomanhehadfashioned,soIlovedmine.Idecidedtoacquaintherwithmyfeelingsatourverynextmeeting.Thetimehadcometochangeourrelationshipfromacademictoromantic."Polly,"Isaidwhennextwesatbeneathouroak,"tonightwewillnotdiscussfallacies.”"Aw,gee,"shesaid,disappoited."Mydear,"Isaid,favoringherwithasmile,"wehavenowspentfiveeveningstogether.Wehavegottenalongsplendidly.Itisclearthatwearewellmatched.""HastyGeneralization,"saidPollybrightly."Ibegyourpardon,"saidI."HastyGeneralization,"sherepeated."Howcanyousaythatwearewellmatchedonthebasisofonlyfivedates?”Ichuckledwithamusement.Thedearchildhadlearnedherlessonswell."Mydear,Isaid,pattingherhandinatolerantmanner,"fivedatesisplentyl,Atterdon'thavetoeatawholecaketoknowthatit'sgood.”"FalseAnalogy,"saidPollypromptly."I'mnotacake.I'magirl.”Ichuckledwithsomewhatlessamusement.Thedearchildhadlearnedherlessonsperhapstoowell.Idecidedtochangetactics.Obviouslythebestapproachwasasimple,strong,directdeclarationoflove.Ipausedforamomentwhilemymassivebrainchosetheproperword.ThenIbegan:"Polly,Iloveyou.Youarethewholeworldtome,themoonandthestarsandtheconstellationsofouterspace.Please,mydarling,saythatyouwillgosteadywithme,forifyouwillnot,lifewillbemeaningless.Iwilllanguish.Iwillrefusemymeals.Iwillwanderthefaceoftheearth,ashambling,hollow-eyedhulk.”There,Ithought,foldingmyarms,thatoughttodoit."AdMisericordiam,"saidPolly.Igroundmyteeth.IwasnotPygmalion;IwasFrankenstein,andmymonsterhadmebythethroat.FranticallyIfoughtbackthetideofpanicsurgingthroughme;atallcostsIhadtokeepcool.Well,Polly,"Isaid,forcingasmile,"youcertainlyhavelearnedyourfallacies.You'redarnright,"shesaidwithavigorousnod.Andwhotaughtthemtoyou,Polly?”Youdid.""That'sright.Soyoudoowemesomething,don'tyou,mydear?IfIhadn'tcomealongyouneverwouldhavelearnedaboutfallacies.”"HypothesisContrarytoFact,"shesaidinstantly.Idashedperspirationfrommybrow."Polly,"Icroaked,"youmustn'ttakeallthesethingssoliterally.Imeanthisisjustclassroomstuff.Youknowthatthethingsyoulearninschooldon'thaveanythingtodowithlife.”"DictoSimpliciter,"shesaid,waggingherfingeratmeplayfully.Thatdidit.Ileapedtomyfeet,bellowinglikeabull."Willyouorwillyounotgosteadywithme?”"Iwillnot,"shereplied."Whynot?”Idemanded."BecausethisafternoonIpromisedPeteyBellowsthatIwouldgosteadywithhim.Ireeledback,overcomewiththeinfamyofit.Afterhepromised,afterhemadeadeal,afterheshookmyhand!can'tgowithhim,Polly.He"PoisoningtheWell,fallacytoo.”Withanimmenseeffortofwill,Imodulatedmyvoice."Allright,"Isaid."You'realogician.Let'slookatthisthinglogically.HowcouldyouchoosePeteyBellowsoverme?Lookatme——abrilliantstudent,atremendousintellectual,amanwithanassuredfuture.LookatPetey—aknothead,ajitterbug,aguywho'llneverknowwherehisnextmealiscomingfrom.CanyougivemeonelogicalreasonwhyyoushouldgosteadywithPeteyBellows?”"Icertainlycan,"TheIrst!rieked,kickingupgreatchunksofturf.saliar.He'sacheat.He'sarat.""andstopshouting.IthinkshoutingmustbeasaidPolly,declaredPolly."He'sgotaraccooncoat.“You查爾斯.蘭姆是一個世所罕見的性情歡快、富有進取心的人，他那筆下的散文《古瓷器》和《夢中的孩子》無拘無束、自由奔放。實在令人難忘。下面這篇文章比蘭姆的作品更加自由奔放。實際上，用自由奔放”的字眼來形容這篇文章并不十分確切，或許用菜軟”、輕松”或輕軟而富有彈性”更為恰如其分。盡管很難說活這篇文章是屆丁哪一類，但可以肯定它是一篇散文小品文。它提出了論點。引用了許多例證，并得出了結(jié)論?？ú藸柲軐懙酶脝?？羅斯金呢？這篇文章意在論證邏輯學非但不枯燥乏味而且活潑、活新、富丁關(guān)感和激情，并給人以啟迪。諸位不妨一讀。——作者注我這個人頭腦冷靜，邏輯思維能力強。敏銳、慎重、聰慧、深刻、機智-一這些就是我的特點。我的大腦像發(fā)電機一樣發(fā)達，孳化學家的天平一樣精確，像手術(shù)刀一樣鋒利你知道嗎確，像手術(shù)刀一樣鋒利你知道嗎？我才十八歲呀年紀這么輕而智力乂如此非凡的人并不常有。就拿在明尼蘇達大學跟我同住一個房間的皮蒂伯奇來說吧，他跟我年齡相哆’經(jīng)歷一樣，可他笨得像頭驢。小伙子長得年輕漂亮，可惜腦子里卻空空如也。他易于激動，情緒反復(fù)無常，容易受別人的影響。最糟的是他愛趕時髦。我認為，趕時髦就是最缺乏理智的表現(xiàn)。見到一q9種新鮮的東西就跟著學，以為別人都在那么十，自己也就卷進去傻十一一這在我看來，簡直愚蠢至極，但皮蒂卻不以為然。一天下午我看見皮蒂躺在床上，臉上顯露出一種癰苦不堪的表情，我立刻斷定他是得了闌尾炎。別動，”我說，別吃瀉藥，我就請醫(yī)生來。”浣熊，”他咕噥著說。浣熊？”我停下來問道。我要一件浣熊皮大衣，”他癰苦地哭叫著。我明白了，他不是身體不舒服，而是精神上不太正常。你為什么要浣熊皮大衣?”我本早該知道，”他哭叫著，用拳頭捶打著太陽穴，我早該知道查爾斯登舞再度流行時，浣熊皮大衣也會時興起來的。我真傻，錢都買了課本，可現(xiàn)在不能買浣熊皮大衣了?！蔽?guī)е鴳岩傻难凵駟柕溃耗闶钦f人們真的乂要穿浣熊皮大衣嗎？”校園里有身分的人哪個不穿？你剛從哪兒來？”圖書館，”我說了一個有身分的人不常去的地方。他從床上一躍而起，在房間里踱來踱去。我一定要弄到一件浣熊皮大衣，”他激動地說，非弄到不可！”皮蒂，你怎么啦？冷靜地想一想吧，浣熊皮大衣不衛(wèi)生，掉毛，味道難聞，既笨重乂不好看，而且……你不懂，”他不耐煩地打斷我的話。這就叫時髦。難道你不想趕時髦嗎？”不想，”我坦率地回答。好啦，我可想著呢！”他肯定地說。只要有浣熊皮大衣，要我什么我都給，什么都行！”我的大腦一一這件精密的儀器一一即刻運轉(zhuǎn)起來。我仔細地打量著他，問道：什么都行？”什么都行!”他斬釘截鐵地說。我若有所思地撫著下巴。好極了，我知道哪兒能弄到浣熊皮大衣。我父親在大學讀書時就穿過一件，現(xiàn)在還放在家里頂樓的箱子里。恰好皮蒂也有我需要的東西。盡管他還沒有弄到手，但至少他有優(yōu)先權(quán)。我說的是他的女朋友波利.埃斯皮。我早已鐘情于波利埃斯皮了。我要特別說明的是，我想得到這妙齡少女并不是由于感情的驅(qū)使。她確實是個易于使人動情的姑娘。可我不是那種讓感情統(tǒng)治理智的人，我想得到波利是經(jīng)過了慎重考慮的，完全是出于理智上的原因。不是法學院一年級的學生，過不了幾年就要掛牌當律師了。我很活楚，一個合適的妻子對一個律師的前途來說是非常重要的。我發(fā)現(xiàn)大凡有成就的律師幾乎都是和美麗、文雅、聰明的女子結(jié)婚的。波利只差一條就完全符合這些條件了。她漂亮。盡管她的身材還沒有掛在墻上的美女照片那么苗條，但我相信時問會彌補這個不足。她已經(jīng)大致不差了。她溫文爾雅——我這里是指她很有風度。她婷婷玉立，落落大方，泰然自若，一眼就看得出她很有教養(yǎng)。她進餐時，動作是那樣的優(yōu)美。我曾看見過她在舒適的校園之角”吃名點一一一塊夾有幾片帶汁的燉肉和碎核桃仁的三明治，還有一小杯泡菜一一手指兒一點兒也沒有沾濕。她不聰明，實際上恰好相反。但我相信有我的指導，她會變得聰明的。無論如何可以試一試，使一個漂亮的笨姑娘變得聰明比使一個聰明的丑姑娘變得漂亮畢竟要容易些。皮蒂，”我說，你在跟波利談戀愛吧？”我覺得她是一個討人喜歡的姑娘，”他回答說，但我不知道這是不是就叫做愛情。你問這個十嗎？”你和她有什么正式的安排嗎？我是說你們是不是常有約會，或者有諸如此類的事情？”我問。沒有，我們常常見面。但我們倆各自有別的約會。你問這個十嘛？”還有沒有別人使她特別喜歡呢？”我問道。那我可不知道。你問這些十嗎？”我滿意地點點頭說：這就是說。如果你不在，場地就是空著的。你說是嗎？”我想是這樣。你這話是什么意思？”沒什么，沒什么，”我若無其事地說，接著把手提皮箱從壁櫥里拿了出來。你去哪兒？”皮蒂問?；丶疫^周末?！蔽野褞准路舆M了提箱。聽著，”他焦急的抓住我的胳膊說，你回家后，從你父親那兒弄點錢來借給我買一件浣熊皮大衣，好嗎？”也許不僅只是這樣呢。”我神秘地眨著眼睛說，隨后關(guān)上皮箱就走了。星期一上午我回到學校時對皮蒂說：你瞧！”我猛地打開皮箱，那件肥大、毛茸茸、散發(fā)著怪味的東西露了出來，這就是我父親1925年在施圖茨比爾凱特汽車里穿過的那一件浣熊皮大衣。太好了！”皮蒂恭敬的說。他把兩只手插進那件皮大衣，然后把頭也埋了進去。太好啦！”他不斷地重復(fù)了一二十遍。你喜歡口？”我問道。哦，喜歡！”他高聲叫著，把那滿是油膩的毛皮緊緊地摟在懷里。接著他眼里露出機警的神色，說著：你要什么換呢？”你的女朋友，”我毫不諱言地說。波利？”他吃驚了，結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說，你要波利？”是的?！彼哑ご笠峦芤蝗樱遣话矃f(xié)的說：那可不行。”我聳了聳肩膀說：好吧，如果你不想趕時髦，那就隨你的便好了。”我在一把椅子上坐了下來，假裝讀書，暗暗地瞟著皮蒂。他神情不安，用面包店窗前的流浪兒那種饞涎欲滴的神情望著那件皮大衣，接著扭過頭去，堅定地咬緊牙關(guān)。過了一會兒，他乂回過頭來把目光投向那件皮大衣，臉上露出更加渴望的神情。等他再扭過頭去，已經(jīng)不那么堅決了。他看了乂看，越看越愛，慢慢地決心也就減弱了。最后他再也不扭過頭去，只是站在那兒，貪婪地盯著那件皮大衣。我和波利好像不是在談戀愛，”他含含糊糊地說。也說不上經(jīng)常約會或有諸如此類的事情?！焙玫模蔽业吐暤卣f。波利對我算得了什么？我對波利乂算得了什么？”只不過是一時高興-----不過是說說笑笑罷了，如此而已?！痹囋嚧笠掳伞！蔽艺f他照辦了。衣領(lǐng)蒙住了他的耳朵，下擺一直拖到腳跟。他看起來活像一具浣熊尸體。他高興地說：挺合身的?！蔽覐囊巫由险玖似饋?。成交了嗎？”我說著，把手伸向他。他輕易地接受了。算數(shù).”他說，并跟我握了握手。第二天晚上，我與波利第一次約會了。這一次實際上是我對她的考察。我想弄活要作多大的努力才能使她的頭腦達到我的要求。我首先請她去吃飯。哈，這頓飯真夠意思，”離開餐館時她說。然后我請她去看電影。嘿，這片子真好看，”走出影院時她說。最后我送她回家。和我道別時她說：嘿，今晚玩得真癰快?！?/p>

我?guī)е淮蟀b快的心情回到了房間。我對這任務(wù)的艱巨性估計得太低了。這姑娘的知識少得叫人吃驚。只是給她增加知識還不夠，首先得教她學會思考。這可不是一件容易的事，當時我真想把她還給皮蒂算了。但我一想到她那充滿魅力的身材，她那進屋時的模樣，她那拿刀義的姿式，我還是決定再作一番努力。就像做其他的事情一樣，我開始有計劃地十了起來。我開始給她上輯課。幸好我是一個學法律的學生，我自己也正在學邏輯學，所以對要教的內(nèi)容我都很熟悉。當我接她赴第二次約會時，我對她說：今晚上咱們?nèi)バ∩?談?wù)劙砂?，好極了，”她回答道。對這姑娘我要補充一句的是，像她這么好商量的人是不多見的。我們?nèi)チ诵∩健?，這是校園里人們幽會的地方。我們坐在一棵老橡樹下，她用期待的眼神看著我。我們談些什么呢？”她問。她想了一會兒，覺得不錯，便說：好極了?！边壿媽W，”我活了活嗓了，就是思維的科學。在我們能正確地思維之前，首先必須學會判別邏輯方面的常見謬誤。我們今晚就要來談?wù)勥@些?！蓖?”她叫了起來，高興地拍著手。首先我們來考究一下被稱為絕對我打了個寒噤，但還是鼓足勇氣講下去：首先我們來考究一下被稱為絕對判斷的謬誤好呀!判斷的謬誤好呀!”她眨了眨眼，催促著絕對判斷指的是根據(jù)一種無條件的前提推出的論斷。譬如說，運動是有益的，因此人人都要運動?！辈诲e，”波利認真地說，運動是非常有益的，它能增強體質(zhì)，好處太多了！”波利，”我溫和地說，這種論點是謬誤。運動有益是一種無條件的前提。比方說，假設(shè)你得了心臟病，運動不但無益，反而有害，有不少人醫(yī)生就不準他們運動。你必須給這種前提加以限制。你應(yīng)該說，一般來說運動是有益的?；蛘哒f，對大多數(shù)人是有益的。否則就是犯了絕對判斷的錯誤，懂嗎？”不懂，”她坦率地說。這可太有意思了，講吧！往下講吧！”你最好別拉我袖子了，”我對她說。等她松了手，我繼續(xù)講：下面我們講一種被稱為草率結(jié)論的謬誤。你仔細聽：你不會講法語，我不會講法語，皮蒂也不會講法語。因此我就會斷定在明尼蘇達大學誰也不會講法語?！闭娴模俊辈ɡ闷娴膯柕?，誰也不會嗎？”我壓住火氣。波利，這是一種謬誤，這是一種草率的結(jié)論。能使這種結(jié)論成立的例證太少了?！蹦氵€知道其他的謬誤嗎？”她氣喘吁吁地說：這真比跳舞還有意思啦！”我極力地使自己不灰心。我真拿這姑娘沒辦法，的確是毫無辦法?？墒?，如果我不堅持下去，我就太沒有用了。因此，我繼續(xù)講下去。

現(xiàn)在聽我講講牽強附會’的謬誤。聽著：我們不要帶比爾出去野餐。每次帶他一起去，天就下雨?！蔽揖鸵娺^這樣的人，”她感嘆地說。我們家鄉(xiāng)有個女孩，名叫尤拉偕克爾。從沒有例外，每次我們帶她去野餐……”波利，”我嚴厲地說，這是一種謬誤。下雨并不是尤拉蓿克爾造成的，下雨與她沒有任何關(guān)系。如果你責怪尤拉?？藸?，你就是犯了牽強附會的錯誤。”我再也不這樣了，”她懊悔地保證說。你生我的氣了嗎？”我深深地嘆了一口氣：不，波利，我沒生氣。”那么，給我再講些謬誤吧！”好，讓我們來看看矛盾前提吧。”行，行，”她嘰嘰喳喳地叫著，兩眼閃現(xiàn)出快樂的光芒。我皺了皺眉頭，但還是接著講下去。這里有一個矛盾前提的例子：如果上帝是萬能的，他能造出一塊連他自己也搬不動的大石頭嗎？”當然能，”她毫不猶豫地回答道。但是如果他是萬能的，他就能搬動那塊石頭呀,”我提醒她。但是如果他是萬能的，他就能搬動那塊石頭呀,”我提醒她。是嘛!”她若有所思地說，嗯，我想他造不出那樣的石頭但他是萬能的啊，”我進一步提醒她。她用手抓了抓她那漂亮而乂空虛的腦袋。我全搞糊涂了，”她承認說。你確實糊涂了。因為一種論點的各個前提相互問是矛盾的，這種論點就不能成立。如果有一種不可抗拒的力量.就不可能有一種不可移動的物體；如果有一種不可移動的物體，就不可能有一種不可抗拒的力量。懂嗎？”再給我講些這類新奇的玩意兒吧，”她懇切地說。我看了看表，說：我想今晚就談到這里。我現(xiàn)在該送你回去了。你把所學的東西復(fù)習一遍，我們明晚上再來上一課吧。”我把她送到了女生宿舍，在那里她向我保證說這個晚上她過得非常癰快。我悶悶不樂地回到了我的房間，皮蒂正鼾聲如富地睡在床上。那件浣熊皮大衣像一頭多毛的野獸扒在他的腳邊。我當時真想把他叫醒，告訴他可以把他的女朋友要回去。看來我的計劃會要落空了。這姑娘對邏輯簡直是一點兒都不開竅。但是我回過頭一想，既然已經(jīng)浪費了一個晚上，不妨還是再花一個晚上看看。天曉得，說不定她頭腦里的死火山口中的什么地方，還有些火星會噴射出來呢。也許我會有辦法能把這些火星扇成熊熊烈焰。當然，成功的希望是不大的，但我還是決定再試一次。第二天晚上我們乂坐在那棵橡樹下，我說：今晚上我們要談的第一種謬誤叫做文不對題?！彼吲d得都發(fā)抖了。注意聽，”我說。有個人申請工作，當老板問他所具備的條件時，他回答說他家有妻子和六個孩子。妻子完全殘廢了，孩子們沒吃的，沒穿的，睡覺沒有床，生火沒有煤，眼看冬天就要到了。”兩滴眼淚順著波利那粉紅的面頰往下滾。啊，這太可怕了！太可怕了！”她抽泣著說。是的，是太可怕了，”我同意地說。但這可不成其為申請工作的理由。那人根本沒有回答老板提出的關(guān)于他的條件的問題，反而祈求老板的同情。他犯了文不對題的錯誤。你懂嗎！”你帶手帕了沒有？”她哭著說我把手帕遞給她。當她擦眼淚時，我極力控制自己的火氣。下面，”我小心地壓低聲調(diào)說，我們要討論錯誤類比。這里有一個例子：應(yīng)該允許學生考試時看課本。既然外科醫(yī)生在做手術(shù)時可以看X光片，律師在審案時可以看案由