英語應用文寫作講評-缺乏讀者意識問題

Writing書面表達假如你叫李越，是一名高三學生。今年高中畢業(yè)后想去英國BrightonUniversity（BU）進行短期學習。以下是英方學校寄給你的課程安排選擇表。請你仔細閱讀課表，按要求給校方回復一封信。ScheduleforBUSummerEnglishCoursesEnglishcoursesTotalhoursofStudyOtherActivitiesDateSix-weekCourse120VisitstoMuseumsandGalleriesJuly1-August15four-weekCourse80SightseeingJuly1-August1書信內(nèi)容說明你要選擇的課程并陳述理由；介紹你目前的英語水平；希望通過學習想提高的英語技能；你的其他期望。

DearSirorMadam,

ThankyouforofferingmethesummerEnglishcourses.IthinkBUisverybeautifulsoIwanttogo.FistIwantsix-weekcourse,becausemyEnglishisverybadsoIwantstudyBUlongago.I’mverywantlearnEnglishsogood,butI’mverylazy.SomyEnglishisverybad.Mymotheroftenaskme:“WhyyouEnglishisverybad?”I’mjusttellher:“I’mverylazy,somyEnglishisverybad.”SoI’mverywantlearnEnglishverywell.Canyouhelpme?1.審題不清 2.要點不全3.錯誤率高 4.邏輯性差5.缺乏讀者意識

DearSirorMadam,

ThankyouforofferingmethesummerEnglishcourses.IwanttogoBrightonUniversitytostudyEnglish.BecausemyEnglishisverypoor.SoI’mdesirethatinBrightonUniversitystudyIcanimprovemyEnglish.OnJuly1-August15,Iwillhavesix-weekcourse,IwouldvisittoMuseumsandGalleries.Itcanhelpmelearnlocalculture.OnJuly1-August1,Ihavefourweekcourse,theteacherwillteachmehowtosayrealEnglishandwriteEnglish.Thenmakemeknowtheskill.Anothertime,Icangosightseeingwithfriends.IhopeI’mbemoveopenwithspeakEnglishandcouldsingEnglishsongs.審題不清要點不全缺乏讀者意識邏輯性差語言表達錯誤率高缺乏讀者意識錯誤率高邏輯性差缺乏讀者意識缺乏讀者意識錯誤率高缺乏讀者意識錯誤率高

DearSirorMadam,

ThankyouforofferingmethesummerEnglishcourses.Asformychoicebetweenthetwocourses,I’dcertainlypreferthefour-weekcoursefor80hoursofstudy.Thiswouldallowmemoretimetoseeyourbeautifulcountrywhilelearningthelanguage.Iwouldliketodosometravelingandmakeafewnewfriends.

OfallthesubjectsI’mlearningatschool,IlikeEnglishbest.IhavebeenlearningEnglishfor9yearsandnowIamgoodatlisteningandwriting.Bytakingthiscourse,IhopetoimprovemyspokenEnglishasmuchaspossible．Besides,I’dliketohavehomestayforacoupleofdayssothatIcanknowmoreaboutyourtraditionsandcustoms.IbelieveIwillhaveawonderfultimeinBritainthissummer.

Yourstruly,

LiYueFivecharacteristicsofoutstandingwriting:(高分作文的五大特性)1.條理性:段落完整，層次分明2.準確性:語法準確，用詞精當3.流暢性:層次清晰，行文連貫4.簡潔、多樣性:語言簡潔，不重復5.思想性:文章立意高，表達個人觀點內(nèi)容積極向上EnjoyingIwilljoinintheFour-weekcoursebecauseIaminterestedinsightseeing.AndIthinkonlyinthiswaycanIlearncustomsaboutEnglish.

HavinglearnedEnglishforyears,IhaveagoodcommandofwrittenEnglish,butIcan’tspeakEnglishverywellanduseEnglishgrammarwhenItalkwithothers.IhopeIcanimprovemyEnglishskillsinthiscourse.IwanttomakemorefriendswithEnglishpeopleandIwishtheBUteachersarefriendly.IwillstudyhardwhenIarrivethere.Sixprinciplesofmakingsentences(造句成文六大原則)：高級詞匯原則狀語提前原則3.短語優(yōu)先原則4.并列句、復合句和特殊句式原則5.長短句交替原則6.短文分段分層原則Nextoutline說明你要選擇的課程并陳述理由；2.介紹你目前的英語水平；3.希望通過學習想提高的英語技能；4.你的其他期望。outline說明你要選擇的課程并陳述理由；I’dprefer…because…ScheduleforBUSummerEnglishCoursesEnglishcoursesTotalhoursofStudyOtherActivitiesDateSix-weekCourse120VisitstoMuseumsandGalleriesJuly1-August15four-weekCourse80SightseeingJuly1-August1outlineIamgoodat…MyEnglishis...Ican…(