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“點(diǎn)線面”
讀后續(xù)寫解構(gòu)重塑復(fù)習(xí):小說要素Time:
Place:
Character1+Action:
Character2+Action:
Character3+Action:Character4+Action:Importantobject
建構(gòu)Onabright,warmJulyafternoonOnaroadMacrodeabicycleandmetawolfTwofriends(bicyclists)repairedthebicycle.PaulandBeckyweredrivingtheircar.TheystoppedinfrontofMac.PlotThewolf
werecatchingupwithMacandwantedtoattack.SprayPara.1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Step3:緊接著每段的承接動(dòng)作(每段第二句)
Step4:最后就是補(bǔ)充完整(每段中間)
Step2:
再寫兩段之間銜接句(第一段的最后一句)Para.2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.
Step3:緊接著每段的承接動(dòng)作(每段第二句)
Step4:最后就是補(bǔ)充完整(每段中間)
Step1:
先寫結(jié)局和主題句(最后一句)建構(gòu)復(fù)習(xí):四步定框架P1:
Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.1.延續(xù)動(dòng)作2.轉(zhuǎn)折3.轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法4.次要角色參與建構(gòu)復(fù)習(xí):定框架后補(bǔ)細(xì)節(jié)
第一段Hewantedtogetintothecar.
Thewolfcameagain.Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.
字
數(shù)詞
匯句
式連接緊密點(diǎn)到鏈Hewantedtogetintothecar.
解構(gòu)下自行車
跑向車
要上車gotoffthebicyclerantothecar
跑
跳
走
描寫
start開始
continue繼續(xù)
jump跳
climb向上爬
run跑
rush沖
dash猛沖
crawl、creep緩慢爬
studge吃力走
stagger搖搖晃晃
stumble跌跌撞撞
sneak偷偷溜走
slide悄悄溜到...
slip悄悄疾行
tiptoe躡手躡腳
hobble蹣跚解構(gòu)
Hewantedtogetintothecar.
解構(gòu)下自行車
跑向車
要上車gotoffthebicyclerantothecarjumpedoffhisbicycledashedtothedoorofthecar點(diǎn)到鏈Hewantedtogetintothecar.Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar.重塑點(diǎn)到鏈
渴望,緊張,害怕類情緒withbutterfliesinone’sstomachbreathedeeplytakeadeepbreathwithanxietybefrightenedtodosthgetintoapanicinpanicwithfrighgtinmyeagernesstodosthgetpanicked,frightenedandnervous重塑Hewantedtogetintothecar.Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar.重塑點(diǎn)到鏈Hewantedtogetintothecar.Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar.Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.
_____?____Thewolfcameagain.Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.
PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面8)soonafter=shortlyafter=afewmuniteslater=abitlater=inawhile=
過一會(huì)shortlyafterwards不久后onabrightwarmJulyafternoonfromthenon從那時(shí)起解構(gòu)重塑
時(shí)間狀語延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.
Atthattime/inaflash,Thewolfcameagain.Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.
PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面wasabouttodowhen正要...這時(shí)thefirst/lasttimewhenever無論什么時(shí)候解構(gòu)重塑when當(dāng)
as隨著whiledoing當(dāng)beforehecould還沒能...afterdoing在...后wasdoing...when正在...這時(shí)候...hadjustdone...when剛做完...這時(shí)候...
時(shí)間狀語句子assoonas一..就...
themoment一..就..each/everytime每次it’sthefirst/lasttimewhenever無論什么時(shí)候notuntilthendidhe直到那時(shí)他才innotimedidhe馬上他就延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.
Atthattime,Thewolfcameagain.
ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfcameagain.Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.
PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.
Atthattime,Thewolfcameagain.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfcameagain.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.
PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.
____?____Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.
PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面
連接副詞
instantly立刻immeditely馬上
suddenly突然
gradually漸漸地eventually最后recently最近actually事實(shí)上obviously顯然
undoubtedly毫無疑問
Lukily真幸運(yùn)
amazingly令人驚喜
fortunately真幸運(yùn)
sadly真遺憾toone’ssurprise
surpringly令人吃驚解構(gòu)重塑
abruptly突然
延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.Instantly/Immediately/Luckily,Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.
PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.Instantly/Immediately,Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.Luckily,themagicspraysavedMacathirdtime.
PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面延續(xù)動(dòng)作----轉(zhuǎn)折----應(yīng)對(duì)轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法----次要角色參與P1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.Luckily,themagicspraysavedMacathirdtime.
Seeingthewolfbackoff,Paulquicklyunlockedthedoor,andthefrightenedmanclimbedintothecarinnotime,shuttingthedoorbehindhimheavily.
soonafter,thewolfranoff.
解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面
Hewantedtogetintothecar.Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.Thewolfcameagain.Hefiredthesprayatthewolf,again.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.Luckily,themagicspraysavedMacathirdtime.PaulandBeckyhelpedMacgetintothecar.Thewolfleft.Seeingthewolfbackoff,Paulquicklyunlockedthedoor,andthefrightenedmanclimbedintothecarinnotime,shuttingthedoorbehindhimheavily.soonafter,thewolfranoff.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面
Hejumpedoffhisbicycleanddashedtothedoorofthecar,inhiseagernesstogetawayfromthewolf.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.Luckily,themagicspraysavedMacathirdtime.Seeingthewolfbackoff,Paulquicklyunlockedthedoor,andthefrightenedmanclimbedintothecarinnotime,shuttingthedoorbehindhimheavily.soonafter,thewolfranoff.點(diǎn)到鏈到面
延續(xù)動(dòng)作對(duì)話次要角色參與結(jié)局和主題句Para.2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.Macandthetwomenmetagain.MacsaidImetawolf.Thetwomansaidyouwerelucky.TheythankedandsaidgoodbytoPaulandBecky.Peoplehelpedoneanother.解構(gòu)重塑復(fù)習(xí):定框架后補(bǔ)細(xì)節(jié):
第二段動(dòng)作鏈可以和情感,環(huán)境,心理,語言等結(jié)合,形成動(dòng)作面。①Burningwithanger,he
glared
atmewithhisbigfrighteningeyes,
yelling,“You’resuchanidiot.”②Shakingmyheadawkwardly,Isaid,“Icangetlunchsomewhereonmywayback,”notwantingtobotherthewarmed-heartedfamilyanymore.
解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面點(diǎn)到鏈到面
動(dòng)作鏈可以和情感,環(huán)境,心理,語言等結(jié)合,形成動(dòng)作面。①Burningwithanger,he
glared
atmewithhisbigfrighteningeyes,
yelling,“You’resuchanidiot.”此處的burningwithanger是情感描寫,glare和yell是動(dòng)作鏈,A+Bing形式,
介詞with短語與動(dòng)詞glare搭配具體生動(dòng),同時(shí)將動(dòng)作和語言描寫結(jié)合在了一起,形成了飽滿的動(dòng)作面,屬于高分表達(dá)。
解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面
動(dòng)作鏈可以和情感,環(huán)境,心理,語言等結(jié)合,形成動(dòng)作面。②Shakingmyheadawkwardly,Isaid,“Icangetlunchsomewhereonmywayback,”notwantingtobotherthewarmed-heartedfamilyanymore.
此處的shake和said是動(dòng)作鏈,Bing+A形式,said后是語言描寫,語言描寫后是心理描寫notwantingtobother,同時(shí)將動(dòng)作鏈和語言和心理描寫結(jié)合在了一起,形成了飽滿的動(dòng)作面,屬于高分表達(dá)。
解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面
動(dòng)作鏈可以和情感,環(huán)境,心理,語言等結(jié)合,形成動(dòng)作面。②WhenIwasabouttosaygoodbye,thegirlaskedifI’dhadlunch.NotuntilthendidIhearmystomachrumbling.Shakingmyheadawkwardly,Isaid,“Icangetlunchsomewhereonmywayback,”notwantingtobotherthewarmed-heartedfamilyanymore.“Waitaminute,sir,”thegirlstammeredinbrokenEnglish,sensingmyembarrassment.Inafewseconds,thegirlturnedup,withapaperbagheldtightlyinherhand.
解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面
延續(xù)動(dòng)作對(duì)話次要角色參與結(jié)局和主題句Para.2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.Macandthetwomenmetagain.MacsaidImetawolf.Thetwomansaidyouwerelucky.TheythankedandsaidgoodbytoPaulandBecky.Peoplehelpedoneanother.解構(gòu)重塑點(diǎn)到鏈到面
延續(xù)動(dòng)作----對(duì)話----次要角色參與----結(jié)局和主題句Para.2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.Macgotoutofthecarandhuggedhisfriends.“ItwasreallyanightmareandIthoughtIwasgoingtodie,”saidMacinashakyvoice,tearsgatheringinhiseyes.Forhim,lifecouldneverbemorebeautiful.AftersayinggoodbyetoPaulandBeckywithgratitude,thethreemencontinuedtheirtrip,agreeingnevertoseparateagain.解構(gòu)重塑ThankYou!讀后續(xù)寫第一課2017年6月浙江卷Onabright,warmJulyafternoon,MacHollan,aprimaryschoolteacher,wascyclingfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriends.Oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon,andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoon.AsMacpedaled(騎行)alongalone,hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome.Hehopedtoshowthemthisbeautifulplacesomeday.ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim.“Man,that’sabigdog!”hethought.Butwhenhelookedtotheside,hesawinstantlythatitwasn’tadogatall,butawolf,quicklycatchingupwithhim.Mac’sheartjumped.Hefoundouthiscanofbearspray.Withonehandonthebars,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,andtoMac’srelief,itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater,itwasbyhissideagain.ThenitattackedthebackofMac’sbike,tearingopenhistentbag.Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime,andagain,itfellbackonlytoquicklyrestartthechase(追趕).Macwaspedalinghardnow.Hewavedandyelledatpassingcarsbutwascarefulnottoslowdown.Hesawasteepuphillclimbbeforehim.Heknewthatoncehehitthehill,he’dbeeasycaughtupandthewolf’steethwouldbetearingintohisflesh.Atthismoment,PaulandBeckyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoAlaska.Theydidn’tthinkmuchofitwhentheysawtwocyclistsrepairingtheirbikeonthesideoftheroad.Abitlater,theyspottedwhatthey,too,assumedwasadogrunningalongsideamanonabike.Astheygotcloser,theyrealizedthatthedogwasawolf.Macheardalargevehiclebehindhim.Hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast,justadozenyardsawaynow.Macheardalargevehiclebehindhim.Hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast,justadozenyardsawaynow.Paragraph1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Paragraph2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.復(fù)習(xí):小說要素Time:
Place:
Character1+Action:
Character2+Action:
Character3+Action:Character4+Action:Importantobject
建構(gòu)Onabright,warmJulyafternoonOnaroadMacrodeabicycleandmetawolfTwofriends(bicyclists)repairedthebicycle.PaulandBeckyweredrivingtheircar.TheystoppedinfrontofMac.PlotThewolf
werecatchingupwithMacandwantedtoattack.Spray結(jié)構(gòu):四步定框架Step1:
先寫結(jié)局和主題句(最后一句)Step2:
再寫兩段之間銜接句(第一段的最后一句)Step3:緊接著每段的承接動(dòng)作(每段第二句)
Step4:最后就是補(bǔ)充完整(每段中間)Para.1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
step3:
step2:Para.2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.step3:step1:結(jié)構(gòu):定框架后補(bǔ)細(xì)節(jié):第一段
延續(xù)動(dòng)作轉(zhuǎn)折轉(zhuǎn)折的解決辦法次要角色參與Para.1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.
step3:
step2:結(jié)構(gòu):定框架后補(bǔ)細(xì)節(jié):第二段
延續(xù)動(dòng)作對(duì)話次要角色參與結(jié)局和主題句Para.2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.step3:step1:2017年6月浙江卷騎行遇狼Onabright,warmJulyafternoon,MacHollan,aprimaryschoolteacher,wascyclingfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriends.Oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon,andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoon.AsMacpedaled(騎行)alongalone,hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome.Hehopedtoshowthemthisbeautifulplacesomeday.ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim.“Man,that’sabigdog!”hethought.Butwhenhelookedtotheside,hesawinstantlythatitwasn’tadogatall,butawolf,quicklycatchingupwithhim.Mac’sheartjumped.Hefoundouthiscanofbearspray.Withonehandonthebars,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,andtoMac’srelief,itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater,itwasbyhissideagain.ThenitattackedthebackofMac’sbike,tearingopenhistentbag.Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime,andagain,itfellbackonlytoquicklyrestartthechase(追趕).Macwaspedalinghardnow.Hewavedandyelledatpassingcarsbutwascarefulnottoslowdown.Hesawasteepuphillclimbbeforehim.Heknewthatoncehehitthehill,he’dbeeasycaughtupandthewolf’steethwouldbetearingintohisflesh.Atthismoment,PaulandBeckyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoAlaska.Theydidn’tthinkmuchofitwhentheysawtwocyclistsrepairingtheirbikeonthesideoftheroad.Abitlater,theyspottedwhatthey,too,assumedwasadogrunningalongsideamanonabike.Astheygotcloser,theyrealizedthatthedogwasawolf.Macheardalargevehiclebehindhim.Hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast,justadozenyardsawaynow.注意:1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;2.應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語;3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段,每段的開頭語已為你寫好;4.續(xù)寫完成后,請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。Paragraph1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Paragraph2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.參考范文1Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Macjumpedoffhisbicycleandrushedtothedoorofthecar.ButbeforeMaccouldopenthedoor,thewolfhadcaughtupandjumpedtoattack.Luckily,themagicspraysavedMacathirdtime.Seeingthewolfbackoff,Paulquicklyunlockedthedoor,andthefrightenedmanclimbedintothecarinnotime,shuttingthedoorbehindhimheavily.BeckylookedoutofthebackwindowandsawthewolfstandingoverMac’sbicycleasifitwereakill.Soonafter,theanimalranoff.Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.Macgotoutofthecarandhuggedhisfriends.“ItwasreallyanightmareandIthoughtIwasgoingtodie,”saidMacinashakyvoice,tearsgatheringinhiseyes.Forhim,lifecouldneverbemorebeautiful.AftersayinggoodbyetoPaulandBeckywithgratitude,thethreemencontinuedtheirtrip,agreeingnevertoseparateagain.參考范文2Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Maccrashedintothecarwithaloudbang.Asaresult,hefelloffthebicycleandhadhisleftankletwisted.HardlyhadMacstoodupwhenthewolfarrivedandwasabouttolaunchanotherattack.Macwasgoingtodiewhensuddenlythewolfwashitrightontheheadbyapieceofrock.Thewolffellback,howlingwithpain.ItwasPaulwhodidthis.BeckyhelpedMacclimbintothecar,whilePaulkeptshoutingandthrowingstonesatthewolf.Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.TheywereshockedatwhattheysawandjoinedPaul.OneofMac’sfriendspickedoutsomerawmeatandthrewittothewolf.Satisfiedwithwhathegot,thewolfranintothewoods.MacthankedPaulandBecky,“HowgratefulIamthatyoustoppedtosavemeandIoweittoyouthatI’mstillalive.”AsMacgotinjured,thethreemenhadtogiveuptherestoftheirjourneyandreturnedhome.延續(xù)動(dòng)作--轉(zhuǎn)折--解決轉(zhuǎn)
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