母親節(jié)的驚喜讀后續(xù)寫課件-2023屆高三英語二輪復習寫作專項

讀后續(xù)寫母親節(jié)的驚喜TeachingCONTENTS續(xù)寫技巧01文本解讀02解題指導03實戰(zhàn)演練04續(xù)寫技巧第一部分三個原則原文一致原則內(nèi)容要前后銜接,上下連貫

，語言表達風格一致曲折性原則正能量原則(problems→solutions)過程跌宕起伏，其中人物會遇到困難或問題，但最終都會解決故事內(nèi)容充滿正能量，弘揚社會主義核心價值觀四個步驟1.讀懂大意，理清脈絡(luò)找尋基本要素：5W(who/when/where/what/why)利用曲線圖獲取細節(jié)信息（人物性格，情節(jié)情感，文章主題，語言風格）2.細讀首句，構(gòu)思框架結(jié)合所給兩段首句定出續(xù)寫框架結(jié)合正能量和原文呼應(yīng)3.增加細節(jié)，提筆寫作依據(jù)情節(jié)發(fā)展和常識，在確定框架內(nèi)可按“所見，所想，所說，所為，所感”構(gòu)思大致框架4.修改潤色，妙筆生花場景描寫，動作描寫，心理描寫，有效對話文本解讀第二部分AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.WhenMother’sDay,at6a.mWherekitchenWhoThetwins(Jenna,Jeff),theirmotherWhatMakingbreakfastfortheirmotherbutthekitchenwasinamessWhyAseriesofaccidents(thebreadturnedblack,porriageboiledover,Jeff’shandgothurt...)Mainelements:5WHowtodealwithit?thecluesanddetails→plotsandcharacteristicsThetwinswere________astheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.Theyplannedtomake_____________.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknew___________.Thepair______________tothekitchen.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeff________.Jenna_____________andputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,she_________soitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteam_____andthelidstartingtoshake.Theporridgeboiledoverand_________.Jennapanicked.Jeff___________andturnedoffthegasquickly.Jenna__________sotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhe_______.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.shecaught_______.Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.How_________Motherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.Telligent,childish,calm,positive,lovetheirmother

Tender/gentleproudforchildrenBeginningEndingplannedtoprepareasurprisefortheirmotherEverythingwentsmoothlyuntilthebreadturnedblackthrowintothesink,turneddownthefireandturnedoffthegasConflictThestovewasamessJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerThebreadturnedblackagainSolution?giveupthesurprise?Whowillhelpthem?Finishthebreakfast?Themother’sfeeling?Excited,confidentAlittlediscourgedcalm,indomitable

Disappointedpanic解題指導第三部分主題語境為“人與社會”之“家庭關(guān)系”，主要描寫了雙胞胎Jenna和Jeff想要通過做一份早餐給媽媽在母親節(jié)當天一個驚喜，但由于不太熟悉烹飪，搞砸了要煮的雞肉粥和三明治。1.Whatisthetheme?2.Whatistheending？親情類：

子女對父母的愛雙胞胎成功做好早餐，送給母親一個節(jié)日驚喜推測情節(jié)發(fā)展，構(gòu)思寫作框架——結(jié)合首句和正能量原則確定兩段結(jié)尾。Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________續(xù)寫第一段增加了新角色——爸爸，第一段主要寫雙胞胎在失望的情況下，爸爸如何幫助他們完成為媽媽準備的早餐。父親了解了情況父親讓雙胞胎打掃廚房（解決了廚房一團糟的問題）父親幫助做早餐（解決了早餐做失敗的問題）第二段的開頭是雙胞胎端著早餐上樓，然后叫醒媽媽。第二段主要寫媽媽看到早餐后的反應(yīng)和母子之間的互動。雙胞胎祝母親節(jié)日快樂母親看到早餐后很驚喜母親吃了早餐母親贊揚了雙胞胎語言特征

本語篇主要體現(xiàn)了自然簡潔、細膩生動的語言風格。(1)連貫性首先，使用了簡潔的敘述性語言敘述事件發(fā)生過程，通過使用first,next,thistime,thenextminute,then,withinseconds等表示時間先后順序的詞語，告訴讀者事情發(fā)生的經(jīng)過，清晰流暢，讓讀者有身臨其境之感；其次，原文指稱銜接較多，其中代詞they代替JeffandJenna出現(xiàn)9處；此外，利用副詞進行銜接出現(xiàn)1次(thankfully)，用連詞but進行轉(zhuǎn)折銜接出現(xiàn)2次。總的來說，整個語篇連貫自然而簡潔。(2)使用了較多的短句短句一般是指句子結(jié)構(gòu)簡單、詞語較少的句子，如主謂賓、主謂或主系表結(jié)構(gòu)，字數(shù)少于10個詞左右。短句能使文章的語言簡潔、明快，節(jié)奏感強。本語篇使用了較多的短句。例如第二段開頭“Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.The

pairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.”連續(xù)用了四個短句，簡單精煉，極好地描寫出了thetwins迫不及待想為媽媽做早餐的心情。第三段中的“Jennapanicked.”和“Ohdear!”兩個短句生動地描寫出了thetwins面對做早餐失敗的失望心情。(3)使用生動細膩的行為動詞本篇使用了大量描寫Jeff和Jenna做Frenchtoast和chickenporridge的行為動詞，生動細膩地刻畫出他們在做早餐過程中由一開始的“游刃有余、信心滿滿”到后面的“手忙腳亂、失望透頂”，給讀者留下了強烈的畫面感，增強了文章的生動性。這些動詞語塊有putsomericeintoapotofwater，breaktwoeggsintoaplate，addinsomemilk，turnonthesecondstoveburner，throwtheburntpiece，turndownthefire,turnoffthegas,touchthehotburner等，值得考生在續(xù)寫中加以借鑒。實戰(zhàn)演練第四部分【詞匯激活】行為類偷溜回被窩：sneakedbacktobed/slippedbackintothebedroom朝對方偷偷眨眼：winkedateachothersecretly輕輕地拍了拍某人：pattedsb.gently/withagentlepatonone’sshoulder/head在某人專業(yè)又耐心的指導下：undertheexpertandpatientguidance/insructionofsb.重新振作;startedalloveragain齊聲說：saidinchorus低聲私語：whispered睜開某人困倦的雙眼：openedone’sdrowsy/sleepyeyes環(huán)抱：threwarmsaroundthem緊緊擁抱：hugged/embracedthemtightly情緒類忍俊不禁：couldn’thelpgiggling/burstingoutlaughing如釋重負地點點頭：noddedwitharelief大聲歡呼：yelledcheerfully眼里閃爍著興奮的光芒：withone’seyessparklingwithgreatexcitement難掩興奮：couldhardlycontainexcitement沉浸于興奮和感激之中：immersedin/abandonedtohappinessandgratitude感動的淚水劃過臉龐：

movingtearsstreamdownone’scheeks眼眶涌出高興的淚水：tearsofjoywellingupinhereyes感覺幸福好像擁有全世界：feelblissfulasiftheywereinpossessionofeverything亮點句式非謂語：1.他輕輕地拍了拍雙胞胎的肩膀，安慰道：“不要擔心，我會幫助你們解決好?！盻_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.看見美味的早餐，雙胞胎忍不住去想母親在享用早餐的時候會有多么的驚訝和驕傲。__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.沐浴在溫暖的陽光里，一家人沉浸在溫馨的母親節(jié)氛圍中。__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Seeingthedeliciousbreakfast,thetwinscouldn’thelpimaginghowsurprisedandproudtheirmotherwouldbewhenenjoyingit.Bathedinthewarmsunshine,theywereimmersedinahappyMother’sDayatmosphere.With復合結(jié)構(gòu)1.一個災難現(xiàn)場般的廚房映入了他的眼簾，父親愣在了原地，眉頭緊鎖。________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.聽到這些話，

雙胞胎點了點頭，眼睛里閃爍著興奮的光芒。

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.母親伸出雙手環(huán)繞住雙胞胎并緊緊地抱住了他們，感動的淚水劃過臉龐。____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Adisastrouskitchengreetinghiseyes,thefatherwasrootedonthefloor,withhiseyebrowfrowningtightly.Hearigthewords,thetwinsnodded,withtheireyessparklingwithgreatexcitement.Motherthrewherarmsaroundthetwinsandhuggedthemtightly,withmovingtearsstreamingdownhercheeks.強調(diào)句&并列謂語1.看見雙胞胎手上的早餐托盤，母親瞪大了她的雙眼。

下一秒，她搖醒了正在假裝打鼾的父親。______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.在父親專業(yè)又耐心的指導下，Jeff站在鍋旁，時不時地攪動著里面的粥。同時，Jenna小心地用油煎著吐司。______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.不僅僅是這份早餐，更是孩子們對她的愛讓她感覺幸福仿佛擁有全世界。______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Hereyeswidenedatthesightofthebreakfasttray,andinthenextsecond,sheshookthefatherwhowaspreten