母親節(jié)的驚喜讀后續(xù)寫課件-2023屆高三英語二輪復(fù)習(xí)寫作專項(xiàng)

讀后續(xù)寫母親節(jié)的驚喜TeachingCONTENTS續(xù)寫技巧01文本解讀02解題指導(dǎo)03實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練04續(xù)寫技巧第一部分三個(gè)原則原文一致原則內(nèi)容要前后銜接,上下連貫

，語言表達(dá)風(fēng)格一致曲折性原則正能量原則(problems→solutions)過程跌宕起伏，其中人物會(huì)遇到困難或問題，但最終都會(huì)解決故事內(nèi)容充滿正能量，弘揚(yáng)社會(huì)主義核心價(jià)值觀四個(gè)步驟1.讀懂大意，理清脈絡(luò)找尋基本要素：5W(who/when/where/what/why)利用曲線圖獲取細(xì)節(jié)信息（人物性格，情節(jié)情感，文章主題，語言風(fēng)格）2.細(xì)讀首句，構(gòu)思框架結(jié)合所給兩段首句定出續(xù)寫框架結(jié)合正能量和原文呼應(yīng)3.增加細(xì)節(jié)，提筆寫作依據(jù)情節(jié)發(fā)展和常識(shí)，在確定框架內(nèi)可按“所見，所想，所說，所為，所感”構(gòu)思大致框架4.修改潤色，妙筆生花場景描寫，動(dòng)作描寫，心理描寫，有效對(duì)話文本解讀第二部分AMOTHER’SDAYSURPRISEThetwinswerefilledwithexcitementastheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.HowpleasedandproudMotherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.TheyplannedtomakeFrenchtoastandchickenporridge.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknewexactlywhattodo.Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.Thepairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.TheyputsomericeintoapotofwaterandleftittoboilwhiletheymadetheFrenchtoast.Jeffbroketwoeggsintoaplateandaddedinsomemilk.Jennafoundthebreadandputtwoslicesintotheeggmixture.Next,Jeffturnedonthesecondstoveburnertoheatupthefryingpan.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeffstartedfryingthebread.Thepanwastoohotandthebreadturnedblackwithinseconds.Jennathrewtheburntpieceintothesinkandputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,sheturneddownthefiresoitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteamshootingoutofthepotandthelidstartingtoshake.Thenextminute,theporridgeboiledoverandputoutthefire.Jennapanicked.Thankfully,Jeffstayedcalmandturnedoffthegasquickly.Butthestovewasamessnow.JennatoldJefftocleanitupsotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhegaveacryofpain.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.Thenshecaughtthesmellofburning.Ohdear!Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.WhenMother’sDay,at6a.mWherekitchenWhoThetwins(Jenna,Jeff),theirmotherWhatMakingbreakfastfortheirmotherbutthekitchenwasinamessWhyAseriesofaccidents(thebreadturnedblack,porriageboiledover,Jeff’shandgothurt...)Mainelements:5WHowtodealwithit?thecluesanddetails→plotsandcharacteristicsThetwinswere________astheythoughtofthesurprisetheywereplanningforMother’sDay.Theyplannedtomake_____________.Theyhadwatchedtheirmotherinthekitchen.Therewasnothingtoit.JennaandJeffknew___________.Thepair______________tothekitchen.EverythingwasgoingsmoothlyuntilJeff________.Jenna_____________andputintheothersliceofbread.Thistime,she_________soitcookednicely.ThenJeffnoticedsteam_____andthelidstartingtoshake.Theporridgeboiledoverand_________.Jennapanicked.Jeff___________andturnedoffthegasquickly.Jenna__________sotheycouldcontinuetocooktherestoftheporridge.ButJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerandhe_______.Jennamadehimputhishandincoldwater.shecaught_______.Thepieceofbreadinthepanhadturnedblackaswell.How_________Motherwouldbewhentheybroughtherbreakfastinbed.Telligent,childish,calm,positive,lovetheirmother

Tender/gentleproudforchildrenBeginningEndingplannedtoprepareasurprisefortheirmotherEverythingwentsmoothlyuntilthebreadturnedblackthrowintothesink,turneddownthefireandturnedoffthegasConflictThestovewasamessJeff’shandtouchedthehotburnerThebreadturnedblackagainSolution?giveupthesurprise?Whowillhelpthem?Finishthebreakfast?Themother’sfeeling?Excited,confidentAlittlediscourgedcalm,indomitable

Disappointedpanic解題指導(dǎo)第三部分主題語境為“人與社會(huì)”之“家庭關(guān)系”，主要描寫了雙胞胎Jenna和Jeff想要通過做一份早餐給媽媽在母親節(jié)當(dāng)天一個(gè)驚喜，但由于不太熟悉烹飪，搞砸了要煮的雞肉粥和三明治。1.Whatisthetheme?2.Whatistheending？親情類：

子女對(duì)父母的愛雙胞胎成功做好早餐，送給母親一個(gè)節(jié)日驚喜推測情節(jié)發(fā)展，構(gòu)思寫作框架——結(jié)合首句和正能量原則確定兩段結(jié)尾。Asthetwinslookedaroundthemindisappointment,theirfatherappeared.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Thetwinscarriedthebreakfastupstairsandwoketheirmotherup.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________續(xù)寫第一段增加了新角色——爸爸，第一段主要寫雙胞胎在失望的情況下，爸爸如何幫助他們完成為媽媽準(zhǔn)備的早餐。父親了解了情況父親讓雙胞胎打掃廚房（解決了廚房一團(tuán)糟的問題）父親幫助做早餐（解決了早餐做失敗的問題）第二段的開頭是雙胞胎端著早餐上樓，然后叫醒媽媽。第二段主要寫媽媽看到早餐后的反應(yīng)和母子之間的互動(dòng)。雙胞胎祝母親節(jié)日快樂母親看到早餐后很驚喜母親吃了早餐母親贊揚(yáng)了雙胞胎語言特征

本語篇主要體現(xiàn)了自然簡潔、細(xì)膩生動(dòng)的語言風(fēng)格。(1)連貫性首先，使用了簡潔的敘述性語言敘述事件發(fā)生過程，通過使用first,next,thistime,thenextminute,then,withinseconds等表示時(shí)間先后順序的詞語，告訴讀者事情發(fā)生的經(jīng)過，清晰流暢，讓讀者有身臨其境之感；其次，原文指稱銜接較多，其中代詞they代替JeffandJenna出現(xiàn)9處；此外，利用副詞進(jìn)行銜接出現(xiàn)1次(thankfully)，用連詞but進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)折銜接出現(xiàn)2次?？偟膩碚f，整個(gè)語篇連貫自然而簡潔。(2)使用了較多的短句短句一般是指句子結(jié)構(gòu)簡單、詞語較少的句子，如主謂賓、主謂或主系表結(jié)構(gòu)，字?jǐn)?shù)少于10個(gè)詞左右。短句能使文章的語言簡潔、明快，節(jié)奏感強(qiáng)。本語篇使用了較多的短句。例如第二段開頭“Thebigdaycameatlast.Thealarmrangat6a.m.The

pairwentdownthestairsquietlytothekitchen.Theydecidedtoboiltheporridgefirst.”連續(xù)用了四個(gè)短句，簡單精煉，極好地描寫出了thetwins迫不及待想為媽媽做早餐的心情。第三段中的“Jennapanicked.”和“Ohdear!”兩個(gè)短句生動(dòng)地描寫出了thetwins面對(duì)做早餐失敗的失望心情。(3)使用生動(dòng)細(xì)膩的行為動(dòng)詞本篇使用了大量描寫Jeff和Jenna做Frenchtoast和chickenporridge的行為動(dòng)詞，生動(dòng)細(xì)膩地刻畫出他們在做早餐過程中由一開始的“游刃有余、信心滿滿”到后面的“手忙腳亂、失望透頂”，給讀者留下了強(qiáng)烈的畫面感，增強(qiáng)了文章的生動(dòng)性。這些動(dòng)詞語塊有putsomericeintoapotofwater，breaktwoeggsintoaplate，addinsomemilk，turnonthesecondstoveburner，throwtheburntpiece，turndownthefire,turnoffthegas,touchthehotburner等，值得考生在續(xù)寫中加以借鑒。實(shí)戰(zhàn)演練第四部分【詞匯激活】行為類偷溜回被窩：sneakedbacktobed/slippedbackintothebedroom朝對(duì)方偷偷眨眼：winkedateachothersecretly輕輕地拍了拍某人：pattedsb.gently/withagentlepatonone’sshoulder/head在某人專業(yè)又耐心的指導(dǎo)下：undertheexpertandpatientguidance/insructionofsb.重新振作;startedalloveragain齊聲說：saidinchorus低聲私語：whispered睜開某人困倦的雙眼：openedone’sdrowsy/sleepyeyes環(huán)抱：threwarmsaroundthem緊緊擁抱：hugged/embracedthemtightly情緒類忍俊不禁：couldn’thelpgiggling/burstingoutlaughing如釋重負(fù)地點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭：noddedwitharelief大聲歡呼：yelledcheerfully眼里閃爍著興奮的光芒：withone’seyessparklingwithgreatexcitement難掩興奮：couldhardlycontainexcitement沉浸于興奮和感激之中：immersedin/abandonedtohappinessandgratitude感動(dòng)的淚水劃過臉龐：

movingtearsstreamdownone’scheeks眼眶涌出高興的淚水：tearsofjoywellingupinhereyes感覺幸福好像擁有全世界：feelblissfulasiftheywereinpossessionofeverything亮點(diǎn)句式非謂語：1.他輕輕地拍了拍雙胞胎的肩膀，安慰道：“不要擔(dān)心，我會(huì)幫助你們解決好?！盻_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.看見美味的早餐，雙胞胎忍不住去想母親在享用早餐的時(shí)候會(huì)有多么的驚訝和驕傲。__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.沐浴在溫暖的陽光里，一家人沉浸在溫馨的母親節(jié)氛圍中。__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Seeingthedeliciousbreakfast,thetwinscouldn’thelpimaginghowsurprisedandproudtheirmotherwouldbewhenenjoyingit.Bathedinthewarmsunshine,theywereimmersedinahappyMother’sDayatmosphere.With復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)1.一個(gè)災(zāi)難現(xiàn)場般的廚房映入了他的眼簾，父親愣在了原地，眉頭緊鎖。________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.聽到這些話，

雙胞胎點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭，眼睛里閃爍著興奮的光芒。

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.母親伸出雙手環(huán)繞住雙胞胎并緊緊地抱住了他們，感動(dòng)的淚水劃過臉龐。____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Adisastrouskitchengreetinghiseyes,thefatherwasrootedonthefloor,withhiseyebrowfrowningtightly.Hearigthewords,thetwinsnodded,withtheireyessparklingwithgreatexcitement.Motherthrewherarmsaroundthetwinsandhuggedthemtightly,withmovingtearsstreamingdownhercheeks.強(qiáng)調(diào)句&并列謂語1.看見雙胞胎手上的早餐托盤，母親瞪大了她的雙眼。

下一秒，她搖醒了正在假裝打鼾的父親。______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.在父親專業(yè)又耐心的指導(dǎo)下，Jeff站在鍋旁，時(shí)不時(shí)地?cái)噭?dòng)著里面的粥。同時(shí)，Jenna小心地用油煎著吐司。______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.不僅僅是這份早餐，更是孩子們對(duì)她的愛讓她感覺幸福仿佛擁有全世界。______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Hereyeswidenedatthesightofthebreakfasttray,andinthenextsecond,sheshookthefatherwhowaspreten