高三上學(xué)期一模讀后續(xù)寫-逐夢敗北+講義

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。MydadandIhadbeenlookingforwardtotheStatecross-countryraceofmysenioryearofhighschool,whichwouldbetheclimax(頂點)ofmyexistence.Iwasthefastestrunneronmyteam,andIwassupposedtomakeitintothetopfifteen.Wehadbeenworkingtowardsthisraceforthreeyears.Itwaseverythingtome,anditwaseverythingtomydad.Hewasarunnerandwaswildwithjoybymysuccessinrunning.Hemadeittoeveryrace,evenflyinghomeearlyfrombusinesstripstoseemerun.Ialwayslistenedforhisvoice,whichrangabovethecrowd—tellingmetorelaxmyarms,callingoutmytime.Hepushedme.Hecheeredforme.Hebelievedinme.WespentcountlesshoursonthesandycanalsofArizona.Breathinginthedustofthedesert,theblossomsoftheorangetrees,andtheterriblesmellofthedairyfarm,wemadeourwayacrossthecity.Wepoundedmilesandmilesintoourrunningshoes,markingwitheverystepthepathtogreatness.Itwasajourneythatwasjustours.Adreampassedonfromonegenerationtothenext.Thenthebigdaycame.Itwashotterthannormal—toohot.Mythroatfeltlikeafieldofcotton,crackedwiththesummerheat,asIwaitedfortheguntofire.Igazedoutatthecrowd;dozensoffamiliarfacesfromchurchandschoolflickeredacrossmyview.Theyhadcomeforme.Theywerecountingonme.Isawmydadsethiswatch,worryandexcitementetchedacrosshisface.Withthesoundofagunshot,theracebegan.Forthefirsttwoandhalfmiles,Ifeltgreat.Ihadneverbeforebeensoreadyforsomething.Theweeksleadinguptotheracewerefilledwithhardpracticesandastrictdiet.Thescorchingsunbeatuponmyback,blindingmewithitsbrilliance.Nothingwasgoingtostopme,though.Para.1However,withoutwarning,mystrengthwasrunningout.

Para.2Iwhispered,“I'msosorryIdisappointedyou,Dad.”主題：談及比賽，腦海中應(yīng)當(dāng)浮現(xiàn)以下幾個相關(guān)的主題升華1.永不言棄Nevergiveup2.友誼第一Friendlinesscomesfirst3.結(jié)果不重要，過程才是最重要的。Itistheprocessratherthantheresultthatcounts.4.Believeinyourself5.Persistenceandperseverance續(xù)寫情節(jié)分析：這篇文章中，小男孩花了很長時間做準備，而父親也一直堅持陪伴著他無論風(fēng)吹日曬。小男孩本來有望進入前15，也是全村的希望，結(jié)果因為比賽途中太熱了沒發(fā)揮好，中途已經(jīng)沒力氣了。所以接下來首先第一要寫永不言棄的體育精神，盡管很累盡管很難受還是堅持完成了比賽。學(xué)生寫作出現(xiàn)的問題：有同學(xué)寫孩子堅持不住了父親就在旁邊給他加油，這在越野跑中是不現(xiàn)實的，父親只可能在終點線等著他，而不可能在中途一直陪著他。有同學(xué)寫孩子堅持不住了在路邊坐著，直接放棄了，這種行為才是真的讓父親失望。同學(xué)還寫孩子直接在路邊昏迷過去，被救護車送往醫(yī)院。屬于自創(chuàng)絕境的寫法。這里要聯(lián)系原文依賴于原文的文本，孩子有望進入前15，結(jié)果讓父親失望的只能是沒能進入前15。父親安慰孩子的一定是，孩子你堅持下來了，雖然沒有進前15，但是過程比結(jié)果重要。這也體現(xiàn)了試卷服務(wù)于立德樹人的價值觀。優(yōu)秀習(xí)作采擷(語料積累):1)Sohotwastheweatherthatmyclothesweresoakedwithsweat.IgaspedforbreathasifIwouldpassoutasecondlater.2)Iwalkedtomyfatherwithaguiltyheart.3)Ashamedandguilty,Iloweredmyhead,bitmylipandavoidedeyecontactwithmyDad,wishingIhadliveduptohisexpectation.(語料遷徙)4)Aslongasyouputyourheartintoyourtaskandraceagainstyourself,youareawinner.5)WhatIhaddreamedofforthousandsoftimesturnedouttobeafailure.Icouldevenimaginethedisappointed5lookonmyfather'sface.Frustratedandupset,Iinchedtowardsmyfatherandstoodnexttohimguiltily.6)TryasImay,Istillfoundithardtocatchmybreathundertheburningsun.7)AsenseoffrustrationcreptovermyheartasIwitnessedthehonorwavinggoodbyetome.BuryingmyfaceinmyhandsIcouldn'tholdbackmytears.8)Withthescorchingsunbeatingonmyback,mylegsgaveawayandsoftened,beadsofsweatblurringmyvision.Exhaustedandhelpless,Idraggedmyconcrete-likelegswithallmystrength,strugglingandstaggeringforward,desperatetoseeotherathletespassingmeoneafteranother.9)Ifeltasifmyfeethadbeenpinnedtotheground.Desperateandhopeless,Iinchedforward,breathingheavily.10)Igrittedmyteeth,gatheredallmystrengthandstruggledtothefinishingline,bearingtheburningheat.11)HowhardItried,Istillfinditimpossibletokeepmyspeedandwitnessedothersrunningpastmeonebyonedesperately.Afterwhatseemedcenturies,Ieventuallycrossedthefinishinglinefelltothegroundheavily.12)WhatwastotallybeyondmasthatDadjustsmiledlovingly,“Mydeardaughter,youdidn'tletmedownaslongasyoudoyourbestresultisnotthemostimportantandyou'rethebestrunnerinmyheart.NosoonerhadIheardmyDad'swordsthanIthrewmyselfintohisarms,tearsofgratitudestreamingdownmycheeksunconsciously/uncontrollably.Theairwasfilledwithlove.Myfather'swordswouldalwaysstayinmyheartandsupportmethroughallthedifficultiesandchallengesoflife.范文示例:Howeverwithoutwarning,mystrengthwasrunningout.Mylungsfoughttotakeinenoughair,andmyfeettransformedintocementbricks.Neckandneckwithoneofmygreatestrivals.Icouldseethefinishline.Ihadbegunthefinalsprintintoglorywhenmykneesbuckledandmylegsgaveway.NothingIcoulddowouldmakethemholdmyweight.Theywereasweakasjelly.Eventhoughknewmydreamsofvictoryhadbeendestroyed,Ihadtofinishtherace.Withallofthestrengthleftinme,Igotonmyhandsandkneesandcrawled,inchbyinchacrossthefinishline.ShamepulsedthroughmyveinsasDadsquatteddownandpulledmeintohisarmsIwhispered,"I'msosorryIdisappointedyou,Dad."Hegavemeagentlesmileandsaid."Youcouldneverdisappointme.Sometimesthesethingsjusthappen.Allthatmattersisthatyoudidyourbest."Liftingmyface,sawmydad'seyes,inwhichIsawthesweat,thetime.andtheworkwehadputint