TED英語演講：勇敢是度過難關(guān)的唯一方法

Word文檔TED英語演講：勇敢，是度過難關(guān)的唯一方法在這篇感人的演講中，艾許.貝克漢提出了一個憐憫與心胸開放的全新方式首先要理解每個人在生命中皆曾經(jīng)受過困難。艾許說，度過難關(guān)唯一的方法，就是要開啟柜門，英勇的踏出柜子。下面是我為大家收集關(guān)于TED英語演講：英勇，是度過難關(guān)的唯一方法，歡迎借鑒參考。

演說題目：英勇，是度過難關(guān)的唯一方法

演說者：艾許.貝克漢

Imgoingtotalktoyoutonightaboutcomingoutofthecloset,andnotinthetraditionalsense,notjustthegaycloset.Ithinkweallhaveclosets.Yourclosetmaybetellingsomeoneyouloveherforthefirsttime,ortellingsomeonethatyourepregnant,ortellingsomeoneyouhavecancer,oranyoftheotherhardconversationswehavethroughoutourlives.Allaclosetisisahardconversation,andalthoughourtopicsmayvarytremendously,theexperienceofbeinginandcomingoutoftheclosetisuniversal.Itisscary,andwehateit,anditneedstobedone.

Severalyearsago,IwasworkingattheSouthSideWalnutCafe,alocaldinerintown,andduringmytimethereIwouldgothroughphasesofmilitantlesbianintensity:notshavingmyarmpits,quotingAniDiFrancolyricsasgospel.AnddependingonthebagginessofmycargoshortsandhowrecentlyIhadshavedmyhead,thequestionwouldoftenbesprungonme,usuallybyalittlekid:

Um,areyouaboyorareyouagirl?

Andtherewouldbeanawkwardsilenceatthetable.Idclenchmyjawalittletighter,holdmycoffeepotwithalittlemorevengeance.Thedadwouldawkwardlyshufflehisnewspaperandthemomwouldshootachillingstareatherkid.ButIwouldsaynothing,andIwouldseetheinside.AnditgottothepointwhereeverytimeIwalkeduptoatablethathadakidanywherebetweenthreeand10yearsold,Iwasreadytofight.(Laughter)Andthatisaterriblefeeling.SoIpromisedmyself,thenexttime,Iwouldsaysomething.Iwouldhavethathardconversation.

Sowithinamatterofweeks,ithappensagain.

Areyouaboyorareyouagirl?

Familiarsilence,butthistimeImready,andIamabouttogoallWomensStudies101onthistable.(Laughter)IvegotmyBettyFriedanquotes.IvegotmyGloriaSteinemquotes.IveevengotthislittlebitfromVaginaMonologuesImgoingtodo.SoItakeadeepbreathandIlookdownandstaringbackatmeisafour-year-oldgirlinapinkdress,notachallengetoafeministduel,justakidwithaquestion:Areyouaboyorareyouagirl?

SoItakeanotherdeepbreath,squatdowntonexttoher,andsay,Hey,Iknowitskindofconfusing.Myhairisshortlikeaboys,andIwearboysclothes,butImagirl,andyouknowhowsometimesyouliketowearapinkdress,andsometimesyouliketowearyourcomfyjammies?Well,Immoreofacomfyjammieskindofgirl.

Andthiskidlooksmedeadintheeye,withoutmissingabeat,andsays,Myfavoritepajamasarepurplewithfish.CanIgetapancake,please?(Laughter)Andthatwasit.Just,Oh,okay.Youreagirl.Howaboutthatpancake?

ItwastheeasiesthardconversationIhaveeverhad.Andwhy?BecausePancakeGirlandI,wewerebothrealwitheachother.

Solikemanyofus,Ivelivedinafewclosetsinmylife,andyeah,mostoften,mywallshappenedtoberainbow.Butinside,inthedark,youcanttellwhatcolorthewallsare.Youjustknowwhatitfeelsliketoliveinacloset.Soreally,myclosetisnodifferentthanyoursoryoursoryours.Sure,Illgiveyou100reasonswhycomingoutofmyclosetwasharderthancomingoutofyours,butheresthething:Hardisnotrelative.Hardishard.Whocantellmethatexplainingtosomeoneyouvejustdeclaredbankruptcyisharderthantellingsomeoneyoujustcheatedonthem?Whocantellmethathiscomingoutstoryisharderthantellingyourfive-year-oldyouregettingadivorce?Thereisnoharder,thereisjusthard.Weneedtostoprankingourhardagainsteveryoneelseshardtomakeusfeelbetterorworseaboutourclosetsandjustcommiserateonthefactthatweallhavehard.Atsomepointinourlives,weallliveinclosets,andtheymayfeelsafe,oratleastsaferthanwhatliesontheothersideofthatdoor.ButIamheretotellyou,nomatterwhatyourwallsaremadeof,aclosetisnoplaceforapersontolive.

Thanks.(Applause)

Soimagineyourself20yearsago.Me,Ihadaponytail,astraplessdress,andhigh-heeledshoes.Iwasnotthemilitantlesbianreadytofightanyfour-year-oldthatwalkedintothecafe.Iwasfrozenbyfear,curledupinthecornerofmypitch-blackclosetclutchingmygaygrenade,andmovingonemuscleisthescariestthingIhaveeverdone.Myfamily,myfriends,completestrangers--Ihadspentmyentirelifetryingtonotdisappointthesepeople,andnowIwasturningtheworldupsidedownonpurpose.Iwasburningthepagesofthescriptwehadallfollowedforsolong,butifyoudonotthrowthatgrenade,itwillkillyou.

Oneofmymostmemorablegrenadetosseswasatmysisterswedding.(Laughter)ItwasthefirsttimethatmanyinattendanceknewIwasgay,soindoingmymaidofhonorduties,inmyblackdressandheels,Iwalkedaroundtotablesandfinallylandedonatableofmyparentsfriends,folksthathadknownmeforyears.Andafteralittlesmalltalk,oneofthewomenshoutedout,IloveNathanLane!Andthebattleofgayrelatabilityhadbegun.

Ash,haveyoueverbeentotheCastro?

Well,yeah,actually,wehavefriendsinSanFrancisco.

Well,weveneverbeentherebutwevehearditsfabulous.

Ash,doyouknowmyhairdresserAntonio?Hesreallygoodandhehasnevertalkedaboutagirlfriend.

Ash,whatsyourfavoriteTVshow?OurfavoriteTVshow?Favorite:WillGrace.Andyouknowwhowelove?Jack.Jackisourfavorite.

Andthenonewoman,stumpedbutwantingsodesperatelytoshowhersupport,toletmeknowshewasonmyside,shefinallyblurtedout,Well,sometimesmyhusbandwearspinkshirts.(Laughter)

AndIhadachoiceinthatmoment,asallgrenadethrowersdo.Icouldgobacktomygirlfriendandmygay-lovingtableandmocktheirresponses,chastisetheirunworldlinessandtheirinabilitytojumpthroughthepoliticallycorrectgayhoopsIhadbroughtwithme,orIcouldempathizewiththemandrealizethatthatwasmaybeoneofthehardestthingstheyhadeverdone,thatstartingandhavingthatconversationwasthemcomingoutoftheirclosets.Sure,itwouldhavebeeneasytopointoutwheretheyfeltshort.Itsalothardertomeetthemwheretheyareandacknowledgethefactthattheyweretrying.Andwhatelsecanyouasksomeonetodobuttry?Ifyouregoingtoberealwithsomeone,yougottabereadyforrealinreturn.

Sohardconversationsarestillnotmystrongsuit.AskanybodyIhaveeverdated.ButImgettingbetter,andIfollowwhatIliketocallthethreePancakeGirlprinciples.Now,pleaseviewthisthroughgay-coloredlenses,butknowwhatittakestocomeoutofanyclosetisessentiallythesame.

Numberone:Beauthentic.Takethearmoroff.Beyourself.Thatkidinthecafehadnoarmor,butIwasreadyforbattle.Ifyouwantsomeonetoberealwithyou,theyneedtoknowthatyoubleedtoo.

Numbertwo:Bedirect.Justsayit.RiptheBand-Aidoff.Ifyouknowyouaregay,justsayit.Ifyoutellyourparentsyoumightbegay,theywillholdouthopethatthiswillchange.Donotgivethemthatsenseoffalsehope.(Laughter)

Andnumberthree,andmostimportant--(Laughter)Beunapologetic.Youarespeakingyourtruth.Neverapologizeforthat.Andsomefolksmayhavegottenhurtalongtheway,sosure,apologizeforwhatyouvedone,butneverapologizeforwhoyouare.Andyeah,somefolksmaybedisappointed,butthatisonthem,notonyou.Thosearetheirexpectationsofwhoyouare,notyours.Thatistheirstory,notyours.Theonlystorythatmattersistheonethatyouwanttowrite.Sothenexttimeyoufindyourselfinapitch-blackclosetclutchingyourgrenade,knowwehaveallbeentherebefore.Andyoumayfeelsoveryalone,butyouarenot.Andweknowitshardbutweneedyououthere,nomatterwhatyourwallsaremadeof,becauseIguaranteeyouthereareotherspeeringthroughthekeyholesoftheirclosetslookingforthenextbravesoultobustadooropen,sobethatpersonandshowtheworldthatwearebiggerthanourclosetsandthataclosetisnoplaceforapersontotrulylive.

Thankyou,Boulder.Enjoyyournight.(Applause)

今晚我會和大家敘述如何走出柜但不是傳統(tǒng)意義上的層面不只是成為同性戀那樣的出柜我想大家都有個柜你所謂的出柜有的或許是你跟她第一次說我愛你或許告知別人你懷孕了或許告知別人你患有癌癥甚至是其他我們都經(jīng)受過的難以啟齒的談話所謂的柜就是一次說不出口的談話雖然我們的話題涉及廣泛在柜中和出柜的經(jīng)受都是相通的這種感覺很可怕盡管我們都不喜愛但是還得這樣做

幾年以前我在SouthSideWalnut咖啡店工作一個當(dāng)?shù)氐牟蛷d那段時間我經(jīng)受了激進女同性戀的緊急沒有刮我的腋毛引用福音AniDiFranco的歌詞由于我寬松的工裝短褲還有我最近的發(fā)型常常會有人問我通常是小孩兒問我

“嗯，你是男孩還是女孩?”

隨之而來的是一陣尷尬的安靜我緊咬牙關(guān)懷著報復(fù)的心緊握著咖啡罐爸爸尷尬地亂翻著報紙媽媽冷漠地盯著孩子但是我說不出口內(nèi)心卻在沸騰重點是每次我走到旁邊有3到10歲小孩兒的桌子時我都預(yù)備好要干一架了(笑聲)這種感覺特別不好所以我跟自己講下一次我肯定會說什么我會把話說出口

所以過了幾個星期又消失這種狀況了

“你是男孩還是女孩?”

熟識的寂靜但是這次我預(yù)備好了這次我要把全部女性的話說出來(笑聲)我預(yù)備好引用BettyFriedan的話預(yù)備好引用GloriaSteinem的話我甚至從《陰道獨白》中選了幾句話我深吸了口氣我低下頭看迎來的是一個穿著粉色裙子的4歲小女孩兒的目光這個小菜一碟只是個小孩兒問問題“你是男孩還是女孩?”

我又深吸了口氣在她身旁蹲下來說“我知道有點不好理解我的頭發(fā)像男生的那樣短我還穿著男生的衣服但是我是個女孩有時候你喜愛穿粉色的裙子有時候喜愛穿舒適的睡衣對吧那我就是那種喜愛穿舒適睡衣的那種女孩

這個小孩兒死死的盯著我都不帶眨的說”我最喜愛的睡衣是紫色的上面還有魚能給我塊煎餅嗎?“(笑聲)就是這樣”哦好吧你是個女孩來塊煎餅怎么樣?“

這是有史以來最簡潔的一次困難對話為什么呢由于這個煎餅女孩和我我們對彼此都很真誠

所以跟許多人一樣我住在自己的幾個柜里是的而且我的四周墻經(jīng)常會變成彩色但是墻的里面黑暗中你卻不知道內(nèi)墻是什么顏色你就是知道在柜里是什么感覺所以真的我的柜和你的你的全部人的柜都是一樣的當(dāng)然我會告知你100個理由來解釋為什么我出柜會比你出柜要難但是重點是難并不是相對的各有各的難處誰能告知我是跟一個人講你剛剛破產(chǎn)難還是跟一個人講你背叛他難呢誰能告知我是一個人說自己出柜難還是告知你5歲的孩子你要離婚了難呢沒有誰更難一些就只是很難而已我們不能把各自的難處排個1234以此來讓我們對自己的柜更好過或更難受些然后又相互憐憫大家都很難在生活中的某些時刻我們都悶在柜里這樣我們感到很平安至少比在柜外面更平安些但是我要告知大家不管你的柜是什么材質(zhì)那都不是一個人應(yīng)當(dāng)住的地方

感謝(掌聲)

想想20xx年前的你那時的我扎著馬尾穿著沒有肩帶的裙子蹬著高跟鞋我不是那個緊急的女同性戀隨時預(yù)備迎戰(zhàn)走進咖啡廳的4歲孩童恐驚使我不得動彈縮在我那個黑漆漆的柜里繃緊身為同性戀的神經(jīng)我從未放松過緊繃的那根弦我的家人伴侶生疏人我始終都努力不讓這些人絕望然而現(xiàn)在我卻有意把事情弄的一團糟我把我們始終沿用的腳本都燒掉但是假如你不丟掉手中的手榴彈它會至你于死地

讓我印象最深刻的一次爆發(fā)是在我姐姐的婚禮上(笑聲)許多在場的人知道我是同性戀這還是頭一回所以我作為伴娘穿著一襲黑裙和高跟鞋我游走在桌邊最終打算坐在我父母的伴侶的那一桌上他們熟悉我很久了說了一會兒話后有個女人大叫著說“我超愛NathanLane!”就這樣一場關(guān)于同性戀的話題拉開帷幕

”Ash你去過Castro嗎?“

”恩內(nèi)什么實際上我們在舊金山有伴侶“

”內(nèi)什么我們沒去過那兒但是聽說那兒挺棒的“

”Ash你知道我的理