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1、小學(xué)生英語故事英文幽默故事:1、There was a guy(家伙,伙計(jì)) who went into a shop to buy a parrot(鸚鵡). There were three parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another(另一個(gè)) one, $10,000; and the third(第三) one, $30,000. The customer(顧客) asked the owner, “How this guy is $5,000? Thats so expensive(貴的) for this kind(種類) of par

2、rot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained (訓(xùn)練)him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from(除了) talking, he can also do some amusing (有趣的)actions(動(dòng)作),like dancing and so on. Thats why hes so ex

3、pensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shop said, “I dont know. Normally(通常), I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle(吹口哨), nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him The Boss(老板).2、Where is the

4、egg?Teacher:Can you make a sentence(造句) with the word "egg"?Student:Yes.I ate a piece of(一塊) cake yesterday.Teacher:Then where is the “egg"?Student:In the cake,Sir.3、Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that.

5、 He buys(買) a ticket(票) and goes in. But after two or three minutes(分鐘) he comes out, and buys the second(第二張) ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third(第三張) ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks hi

6、m,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up(剪) my ticket.”4、Teacher: Would Shakespeare(莎士比亞) be a great man if he were still alive today? Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far(

7、目前為止) nobody has lived to over 400 years.5、Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly(死蒼蠅) in my soup(湯). Waiter: Yes, sir, I know-it's the heat(熱) that kills(殺死) it.6、"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool(棉花) in your ear? Is it infected(感染)?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that eve

8、rything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." 7、Teacher:We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract(熱脹冷縮). Now,can anyone give me a good example(例子)? John:Well ,in the summer the days are long,and in the winter the days ar

9、e short. 8、A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents(分). "What did you do with the money I gave(給) you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly(驕傲地). "Here are two cents more. But why a

10、re you so interested in(感興趣) the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy.(糖果)"9、Drunk(醉酒)One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age(年齡), the boy was interested in(感興趣) all kinds of things and was always asking questions(問問題). Now, he asked, "What

11、9;s the meaning(意思) of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied(回答), "look, there are standing(站著) two policemen. If I regard(認(rèn)成)the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!&q

12、uot; 普通英語故事Story 1 I Dont Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks. “I dont like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”Story 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her

13、 son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Then,” Mother asks. “Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach(肚子) and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isnt it right?”Story 3 Count(數(shù)) Tomorrow Morning Its a right. Joh

14、n is looking at the sky. Tom is Johns younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “Im counting stars(數(shù)星星).” Tom laughs(笑) and says, “Its really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”Story 4 Adding Feet to a Snake(畫蛇添足) One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come an

15、d drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine(一壺酒). Who can drink it? They think out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it. Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, Ive finished. Im No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet

16、to my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla(猩猩) also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isnt a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”Story 9 Covering Ones Ears While Stealing a Bell(掩耳盜鈴) Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things. One day h

17、e sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.” Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.Story 10 Adding Eyes to a Dragon(畫龍點(diǎn)睛)Mr. Li is a good painter(畫家). One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes. Mr. Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eye

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