一模卷作文（201301）

1、 總體評(píng)價(jià)：總體評(píng)價(jià)： 本次作文本次作文“幸福幸福/快樂(lè)屬于每個(gè)人快樂(lè)屬于每個(gè)人”主題，主題，內(nèi)容可以圍繞自己生活中的一些快樂(lè)事情內(nèi)容可以圍繞自己生活中的一些快樂(lè)事情或自己帶給他人快樂(lè)從而體現(xiàn)快樂(lè)屬于每或自己帶給他人快樂(lè)從而體現(xiàn)快樂(lè)屬于每個(gè)人而展開(kāi)，所以學(xué)生覺(jué)得有話可講。大個(gè)人而展開(kāi)，所以學(xué)生覺(jué)得有話可講。大多數(shù)學(xué)生能圍繞主題，通過(guò)親身經(jīng)歷的事多數(shù)學(xué)生能圍繞主題，通過(guò)親身經(jīng)歷的事例來(lái)闡述觀點(diǎn)。但學(xué)生在用語(yǔ)規(guī)范，不寫(xiě)例來(lái)闡述觀點(diǎn)。但學(xué)生在用語(yǔ)規(guī)范，不寫(xiě)錯(cuò)字、錯(cuò)句，使用不同從句，語(yǔ)句表達(dá)流錯(cuò)字、錯(cuò)句，使用不同從句，語(yǔ)句表達(dá)流暢性等方面還需關(guān)注及指導(dǎo)。主要存在問(wèn)暢性等方面還需關(guān)注及指導(dǎo)。主要存在問(wèn)題

2、：題：u 主要存在問(wèn)題：主要存在問(wèn)題：內(nèi)容空洞，內(nèi)容空洞，句式重復(fù)句式重復(fù) I always feel happy in my life. Always get happy is good for our health. My brother usually brings happiness to me. He is a crazy boy. He often play with me. If I feel sad or angry, I sometimes think （漏寫(xiě)漏寫(xiě)about/of) something funny to make make laugh and happy. I

3、ts(漏寫(xiě)）漏寫(xiě)） always useful. Get happy is very important. So we should get happy every day!得分：得分： 6+5.5+0=11.5時(shí)態(tài)混亂時(shí)態(tài)混亂 I always feel happy in my life. My friends usually bring happiness to me. They always make jokes with me. And sometimes, they share delicious food with me. They （漏寫(xiě)漏寫(xiě)are)not only funny,

4、 but also kindly. I also make others happy. I usually tell my friends my funny experience. And draw a lovely animal for them. When I was sad, I listened to the music. It can makes happy. All in all, happiness is for everyone.得分：得分： 8+4+0=12 語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤較多語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤較多 Happy is for everyone In my life, I can find h

5、appiness everywhere. Last week when I played basketball my leg was broken, then some people brought me to the hospital. Although my leg was hurt, I （漏寫(xiě)漏寫(xiě)was)still happy to found my real friends. Like the old saying goes:“A friend in need that a friend indeed.” In other times I also help others, like

6、 help my classmates clean the classroom, bring them my warmness and happiness. That （漏寫(xiě)漏寫(xiě)s) why I say Happiness is for everyone! 得分：得分： 7+1.5+0=8.5偏題偏題 I am a Garden 9 student. Have a lot of homwork and bad ma. So I feel unhappy everyday. But my teacher usually brings happiness to me. She tell me ma

7、 is no important than happiness. I dont know this mean because if ma is had so I cant go to high middle school. So I think both things are important. And I make smile everyday. Although I am a had student I will be happiness for everyone. 得分：得分： 3+1+0=4 Last summer, I climbed Mount Huang with my dad

8、 . I was really happy because it was the first time for me to climb such a high mountain. At first, I ran quickly. However, I felt tired soon. The more I moved on, the harder I could lift my legs. My father said, You neednt give up halfway, or you will never succeed. I did as my father said. After s

9、everal rests, I got up to the top of the mountain. I was really pleased with myself. In the future, I will never give up when I meet difficulties. If I succeed, I will be happy.得分：得分：2+8+0=10高分作文（一）特點(diǎn)：行文流暢，用詞、句特點(diǎn)：行文流暢，用詞、句式豐富式豐富 Everyone needs happiness, and Im not an exception. In my life, my frien

10、ds and my parents always make me feel happy. Whats more, when I make progress and succeed in overcoming the difficulties, Ill feel happy. Then Ill share my happiness with others by telling them what Ive achieved recently. If there is someone who needs help, Ill offer him a hand and comfort him as we

11、ll. In conclusion, （Almost) nobody can live without happiness, and I believe that happiness is for everyone. 得分：得分：8+8+3=19高分作文（二） I always feel happy no matter what happens in my life. The reason for this is that I have my friends around me. In my view, friends are persons who are ready to share jo

12、ys and sorrows with me. Whats more, making them happy is what I should do. I do believe that a friend in need is a friend indeed. So when they are in trouble, I usually give them a helping hand as soon as possible. In a word, happiness is for everyone if everyone has a selfless heart.得分：得分：8+8+4=20高

13、分作文（三）字?jǐn)?shù)：120個(gè) I always feel happy in life, and I cant understand why some people dont. To me, every little thing can bring me happiness. For example, the birds singing in Spring tells me the beauty of life and rebirth, friends comfort when Im sad speaks of true friendship. Most of my happiness comes

14、 from my friends. Theyre sweet and understanding, helping me every time I fall. Feeling happy isnt about a specific thing, its more of an attitude. In order to make myself happy, I try to discover the beauty in every little thing. Being friendly and helping also helps to make both ourselves and othe

15、rs happy. If we all look at things in an optimistic way, we can always find happiness right beside us.得分：8+8+3=19學(xué)生寫(xiě)作建議：學(xué)生寫(xiě)作建議： 1.首先教會(huì)學(xué)生要審題，避免偏題作文。首先教會(huì)學(xué)生要審題，避免偏題作文。 2. 按所給的問(wèn)題為主線組織文章結(jié)構(gòu)，這樣文章按所給的問(wèn)題為主線組織文章結(jié)構(gòu)，這樣文章 脈絡(luò)就脈絡(luò)就比較清晰。比較清晰。 3.邏輯要合理，不要自相矛盾。邏輯要合理，不要自相矛盾。 4. 避免英語(yǔ)漢語(yǔ)花，多用和積累考綱中或閱讀文章中及避免英語(yǔ)漢語(yǔ)花，多用和積累考綱中或閱讀

16、文章中及課文中好詞好句。課文中好詞好句。 get into the habit ofmake up my mind put my heart into sthshorten the distance broaden /widen my mind Keeping a pet dog is something that everyone can enjoy. (Head to head) Its never/really a good idea for sb. to do sth. (Head to head)4. 指導(dǎo)學(xué)生有效避免語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。指導(dǎo)學(xué)生有效避免語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。5. 在訓(xùn)練作文時(shí)先要保證前兩

17、項(xiàng)在訓(xùn)練作文時(shí)先要保證前兩項(xiàng)16分，分，適當(dāng)運(yùn)適當(dāng)運(yùn)用文采。用文采。6.在備課組活動(dòng)中進(jìn)行相關(guān)研究，尤其是指導(dǎo)在備課組活動(dòng)中進(jìn)行相關(guān)研究，尤其是指導(dǎo)學(xué)生靈活、合理、適當(dāng)?shù)貙?duì)練習(xí)過(guò)的作文題學(xué)生靈活、合理、適當(dāng)?shù)貙?duì)練習(xí)過(guò)的作文題材，進(jìn)行有效的組合運(yùn)用。材，進(jìn)行有效的組合運(yùn)用。7.指導(dǎo)學(xué)生書(shū)寫(xiě)字跡端正、規(guī)范，有必要在試指導(dǎo)學(xué)生書(shū)寫(xiě)字跡端正、規(guī)范，有必要在試卷上打草稿卷上打草稿 ，再認(rèn)真謄寫(xiě)在答題卷上。，再認(rèn)真謄寫(xiě)在答題卷上。 Tips 聽(tīng)前快速瀏覽聽(tīng)力內(nèi)容，尤其要對(duì)短文聽(tīng)前快速瀏覽聽(tīng)力內(nèi)容，尤其要對(duì)短文和對(duì)話的大致內(nèi)容及信息進(jìn)行預(yù)測(cè)。和對(duì)話的大致內(nèi)容及信息進(jìn)行預(yù)測(cè)。 聽(tīng)力過(guò)程中不能只做機(jī)械的記錄聽(tīng)力

18、過(guò)程中不能只做機(jī)械的記錄,要試圖要試圖理解文意，必要時(shí)要將信息進(jìn)行靈活的理解文意，必要時(shí)要將信息進(jìn)行靈活的轉(zhuǎn)換。轉(zhuǎn)換。 做完練習(xí)要養(yǎng)成檢查的習(xí)慣，可以從意做完練習(xí)要養(yǎng)成檢查的習(xí)慣，可以從意思是否符合、語(yǔ)法是否準(zhǔn)確兩個(gè)角度考思是否符合、語(yǔ)法是否準(zhǔn)確兩個(gè)角度考慮慮。Tips1. 掌握各種時(shí)態(tài)的句式變化。掌握各種時(shí)態(tài)的句式變化。2. 全面掌握被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)和賓語(yǔ)從句。全面掌握被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)和賓語(yǔ)從句。3. 注意積累從句之間的轉(zhuǎn)換及同義注意積累從句之間的轉(zhuǎn)換及同義結(jié)構(gòu)的表達(dá)。結(jié)構(gòu)的表達(dá)。建議建議回答問(wèn)題要根據(jù)文章內(nèi)容回答問(wèn)題要根據(jù)文章內(nèi)容注意時(shí)態(tài)、人稱的統(tǒng)一注意時(shí)態(tài)、人稱的統(tǒng)一注意大小寫(xiě)注意大小寫(xiě)注意在理解的意義

19、上正確抄寫(xiě)注意在理解的意義上正確抄寫(xiě)句子句子1.要提醒學(xué)生，在給出簡(jiǎn)短回答時(shí)，一定要注意要提醒學(xué)生，在給出簡(jiǎn)短回答時(shí)，一定要注意 用語(yǔ)規(guī)范用語(yǔ)規(guī)范.2.不要只是機(jī)械地在文章中找相關(guān)的信息，沒(méi)有不要只是機(jī)械地在文章中找相關(guān)的信息，沒(méi)有對(duì)信息進(jìn)行理解或加工，就胡亂地或是斷章取對(duì)信息進(jìn)行理解或加工，就胡亂地或是斷章取義地給出回答。義地給出回答。Part Three ReadingRead the passage and fill in the blanks with proper words平均分平均分: 7.69(14分分)本篇文章主要講述的是本篇文章主要講述的是Oscar Reyna收到收到了份

20、禮物了份禮物一把不同尋常的傘的故事。一把不同尋常的傘的故事。文章文章故事性較強(qiáng)，易理解。 86.The package consisted of a long, narrow box, c_86_ wrapped（包裝）（包裝）in brown paper. 參考答案：參考答案：carefully試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)副詞，這句講的試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)副詞，這句講的是包裹里是一個(gè)被用棕色紙仔細(xì)包裝的一是包裹里是一個(gè)被用棕色紙仔細(xì)包裝的一個(gè)狹長(zhǎng)的盒子。個(gè)狹長(zhǎng)的盒子。答題分析：錯(cuò)誤率高，答題分析：錯(cuò)誤率高， 許多學(xué)生答案是許多學(xué)生答案是completely.原因是該單詞習(xí)慣用法放在動(dòng)原因是該

21、單詞習(xí)慣用法放在動(dòng)詞前作修飾的情況較多，而未體現(xiàn)出該禮詞前作修飾的情況較多，而未體現(xiàn)出該禮物的珍貴，即用物的珍貴，即用carefully。個(gè)別學(xué)生不注。個(gè)別學(xué)生不注意詞性答案寫(xiě)成了意詞性答案寫(xiě)成了careful. 扣扣1分。分。 87. A_ he had not seen it for more than 20 years, he recognized it immediately.參考答案：參考答案：Although試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)連詞。這句講的試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)連詞。這句講的盡管他已經(jīng)盡管他已經(jīng)20多年未見(jiàn)它了，他還是立刻多年未見(jiàn)它了，他還是立刻認(rèn)出了它。認(rèn)出了它。答題分析

22、：大部分考生能推測(cè)出這里的意思答題分析：大部分考生能推測(cè)出這里的意思是是盡管盡管, 得分率較高得分率較高。 88. Oscar was 6 when he first saw the u_ umbrella. 參考答案：參考答案：unusual試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)形容詞，這句講試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)形容詞，這句講的是當(dāng)?shù)氖钱?dāng)Oscar 十六歲時(shí)，他第一次看到了十六歲時(shí)，他第一次看到了這把不同尋常的傘?？忌鶕?jù)這把不同尋常的傘?？忌鶕?jù) 對(duì)文章整對(duì)文章整體的理解才能推斷出這把不是普通的傘，體的理解才能推斷出這把不是普通的傘，是是Mrs. OBrien 的父親給的父親給OBrien的禮物

23、的禮物,而而Oscar又和這把傘有故事，足以體現(xiàn)它的又和這把傘有故事，足以體現(xiàn)它的unusual答題分析：學(xué)生會(huì)寫(xiě)成答題分析：學(xué)生會(huì)寫(xiě)成usual，未對(duì)文章做整，未對(duì)文章做整體理解或者拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤體理解或者拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤unsual少第二個(gè)少第二個(gè)u。 89. Impressed by its beautify, Oscar felt a strong desire to find its o_89_. 參考答案：參考答案：owner試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)名詞，印象深刻試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)名詞，印象深刻于它的美麗，于它的美麗， Oscar 感到有一種強(qiáng)烈的渴感到有一種強(qiáng)烈的渴望去找到它的主人。望去

24、找到它的主人。答題分析：正確率較高答題分析：正確率較高, 90. “Id like to r_ it if its yours,” Oscar said參考答案：參考答案：return試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)動(dòng)詞，如果它是你的，試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)動(dòng)詞，如果它是你的，我想要還給你。我想要還給你。答題分析：正確率不高答題分析：正確率不高 ，學(xué)生錯(cuò)誤有，學(xué)生錯(cuò)誤有returned,不注意不注意Id like to do 用動(dòng)詞原形。用動(dòng)詞原形。 或者拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤或者拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤retured /reture或?qū)懫渌驅(qū)懫渌黵開(kāi)頭開(kāi)頭的單詞。的單詞。 91. May I offer you a rewa

25、rd f_91_ your kindness?參考答案：參考答案：for試題分析：試題分析： offer sb. for your kindness答題分析：正確率較高，常見(jiàn)詞組答題分析：正確率較高，常見(jiàn)詞組Thank you for your kindness. 92.Why had it a_92_ here today.參考答案：參考答案：arrived試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)動(dòng)詞的過(guò)去分詞，試題分析：這里應(yīng)該填一個(gè)動(dòng)詞的過(guò)去分詞，這句講的是為何它今天到了這兒。這句講的是為何它今天到了這兒。答題分析：錯(cuò)誤率較高，只有對(duì)文章開(kāi)頭答題分析：錯(cuò)誤率較高，只有對(duì)文章開(kāi)頭the deliverym

26、an handed Oscar Reyna a package句子的仔細(xì)理解才能想到用句子的仔細(xì)理解才能想到用arrived，許多學(xué)生用，許多學(xué)生用appeared, 即（毫無(wú)即（毫無(wú)征兆或突然的情況下出現(xiàn)用該詞比較合適征兆或突然的情況下出現(xiàn)用該詞比較合適)。 答案只寫(xiě)答案只寫(xiě)arrive 得一分得一分啟示1. 認(rèn)真閱讀文章，根據(jù)邏輯關(guān)系推認(rèn)真閱讀文章，根據(jù)邏輯關(guān)系推測(cè)所填詞。測(cè)所填詞。2. 善于從上下文中捕捉關(guān)鍵詞或提善于從上下文中捕捉關(guān)鍵詞或提示語(yǔ)。示語(yǔ)。3. 做完要復(fù)查，看語(yǔ)法是否正確。做完要復(fù)查，看語(yǔ)法是否正確。存在的主要問(wèn)題：存在的主要問(wèn)題：1. 不能仔細(xì)準(zhǔn)確理解題意不能仔細(xì)準(zhǔn)確理解

27、題意2. 不動(dòng)腦筋，照抄原文中的相關(guān)信息，不做信不動(dòng)腦筋，照抄原文中的相關(guān)信息，不做信息的加工處理息的加工處理3. 回答時(shí)語(yǔ)言表達(dá)不規(guī)范回答時(shí)語(yǔ)言表達(dá)不規(guī)范4. 單詞拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤，抄寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤單詞拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤，抄寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤5. 時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤。時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤。建議建議回答問(wèn)題要根據(jù)文章內(nèi)容回答問(wèn)題要根據(jù)文章內(nèi)容注意時(shí)態(tài)、人稱的統(tǒng)一注意時(shí)態(tài)、人稱的統(tǒng)一注意大小寫(xiě)注意大小寫(xiě)注意在理解的意義上正確抄寫(xiě)注意在理解的意義上正確抄寫(xiě)句子句子1.要提醒學(xué)生，在給出簡(jiǎn)短回答時(shí)，一定要注意要提醒學(xué)生，在給出簡(jiǎn)短回答時(shí)，一定要注意 用語(yǔ)規(guī)范用語(yǔ)規(guī)范.2.不要只是機(jī)械地在文章中找相關(guān)的信息，沒(méi)有不要只是機(jī)械地在文章中找相關(guān)的信息，沒(méi)有對(duì)信息進(jìn)

28、行理解或加工，就胡亂地或是斷章取對(duì)信息進(jìn)行理解或加工，就胡亂地或是斷章取義地給出回答。義地給出回答。存在的主要問(wèn)題：存在的主要問(wèn)題：1. 不能仔細(xì)準(zhǔn)確理解題意不能仔細(xì)準(zhǔn)確理解題意2. 不動(dòng)腦筋，照抄原文中的相關(guān)信息，不做信不動(dòng)腦筋，照抄原文中的相關(guān)信息，不做信息的加工處理息的加工處理3. 回答時(shí)語(yǔ)言表達(dá)不規(guī)范回答時(shí)語(yǔ)言表達(dá)不規(guī)范4. 單詞拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤，抄寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤單詞拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤，抄寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤5. 時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤。時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤。2013 年新增詞匯年新增詞匯 25個(gè)個(gè)1. amazing adj. 令人贊嘆的2. adult adj. 成年人3. battery n. 電池，蓄電池4. bored adj. 感到乏味的

29、；煩人的5. character n. 性格，特性；特征，特點(diǎn)6. contact n. 接觸；聯(lián)系 v. 與。來(lái)往，聯(lián)系7. correctly adv. 正確地8. directly adv. 直接的9. direction n. 方向;趨勢(shì)；用法說(shuō)明10. exit n. 出口，通道 v. 離別；退出11. extra adv. 特別的，非常；另外 adj. 額外的12. effort n. 精力，努力13. economy n. 經(jīng)濟(jì)14. fare n. 票價(jià)；費(fèi)用票價(jià)；費(fèi)用15. fashion n. 時(shí)尚時(shí)尚16. purpose n. 目的；用途目的；用途17. proverb n. 諺語(yǔ)，格言諺語(yǔ)，格言18. respect v. 慎重對(duì)待；尊重慎重對(duì)待；尊重19. staff n. 全體職員全體職員20. satisfying adj. 令人滿意的，令人滿足的令人滿意的，令人滿足的21. signal n. 信號(hào)；手勢(shì)信號(hào)；手勢(shì)22. impression n. 印象印象23. magic n. 魔術(shù)；魔法魔術(shù)；魔法24. website n. 網(wǎng)站網(wǎng)站25. yogurt n. 酸奶酸奶新增詞組新增詞組 5個(gè)個(gè)26. calm down27. referto28. shopping mall29