【讀后續(xù)寫】高三讀后續(xù)寫公開課-Stuck-in-the-crack-讀后續(xù)寫教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)-陶江英

讀后續(xù)寫教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)紹興市上虞區(qū)城南中學(xué)陶江英【主題語境】人與自我——做人與做事【語篇類型】記敘文（原文見附錄）【語篇研讀】故事內(nèi)容如下：一群探險(xiǎn)愛好者穿越圣地亞哥附近的沙漠，到達(dá)ThunderCanyonCave進(jìn)行探險(xiǎn)。進(jìn)入這個洞穴，必須穿過一個冰冷的瀑布，沿著狹小的石縫側(cè)身前行，在這個過程中，“我”被卡在石縫中，進(jìn)退兩難。整隊(duì)人齊心協(xié)力也沒能把我解救出來，最后隊(duì)長Luca只好向救援隊(duì)求助。本文以敘事為主，按照事情發(fā)展的先后順序進(jìn)行展開，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，動作描寫細(xì)致入微，是一篇動作描寫具體化的優(yōu)秀文本。在分析動作描寫的同時，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生關(guān)注動作背后的人物個性特點(diǎn)和人物心理的變化。本文通過描述野外探險(xiǎn)時隊(duì)員間互助合作救“我”脫險(xiǎn)的故事揭示了時團(tuán)隊(duì)合作精神的重要性，屬于人與自我的主題語境，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生在平時的集體生活中要發(fā)揚(yáng)團(tuán)隊(duì)精神，共同進(jìn)步?！窘虒W(xué)目標(biāo)】學(xué)生在學(xué)習(xí)完本篇記敘文后，能夠：1.借助“導(dǎo)讀卡”梳理故事發(fā)展框架，理清主人公心理活動變化這一主線，概括故事主要內(nèi)容，學(xué)會分析和推斷信息的邏輯關(guān)系，培養(yǎng)邏輯性思維的能力；2.借助“導(dǎo)構(gòu)卡”，根據(jù)續(xù)寫段落開頭語預(yù)測可能的情節(jié)發(fā)展和結(jié)尾，為續(xù)寫選擇合適的劃線關(guān)鍵詞，構(gòu)建符合邏輯的續(xù)寫故事框架，培養(yǎng)邏輯性和創(chuàng)新性思維的能力，根據(jù)搭建的故事框架進(jìn)行書面語言的輸出；3.根據(jù)“導(dǎo)改卡”，按照主題思想、情節(jié)構(gòu)思、語言表達(dá)三個方面對同學(xué)的讀后續(xù)寫進(jìn)行評價(jià)，發(fā)表自己的觀點(diǎn)和立場，并對續(xù)寫進(jìn)行修改、潤色，從而提升批判性思維能力，重點(diǎn)關(guān)注：動詞的準(zhǔn)確使用?！窘虒W(xué)設(shè)計(jì)】【導(dǎo)入】Freetalk:Showapictureofaboywhowasstuckinacrack.Askstudents:Whathappenedtotheboy?Howcanhegooutofthecrack?Tip1:Usespecificverbstodescribeaspecificscene.【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】自由討論導(dǎo)入相關(guān)動詞，拓展知識，激發(fā)興趣，提出寫作建議，為更好地理解文本和寫作輸出做好鋪墊?！緦?dǎo)讀卡】1.1.Thestructure:Para.1Thetiringtrip→Para.2Theexperiencedleader→Para.3Thehelpfulteammates2.5Wand1H:when:Sundaylastyear,who:thegroup,where:cave,what:exploredandrescued,why:Iwasstuckin…,how:?3.PlotmapPlot1:ThetiringtripPPlot2:TheexperiencedleaderPlot3:Thehelpfulteammates4.Moreexpressionstodescribenegativeemotionsandpositiveemotions5.Theme:Itwastheteamworkthathelpedmeout.6.Thegivensentences:Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.____________________________________________________________(1)Didthejacksmakemewarm?(2)HowdidIfeel?(3)Whatdidthegroupdoforme?DidJimdosomethingforme?Paragraph2:Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam._____________________________(1)Howdidtherescueteamrescueme?(2)DidLucadosomething?(3)HowdidIfeelintheend?Tip2:Haveagoodunderstandingofthestorybeforewriting.【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】（1）對文本各段大意和六要素（其中how是續(xù)寫內(nèi)容）的分析，有助于學(xué)生從整體上把握記敘文的結(jié)構(gòu)。（2）以故事發(fā)展過程中的三個情節(jié)為明線，人物的情緒變化為暗線，透過三個情節(jié)中的動詞描寫，分析人物內(nèi)心情緒的變化，抓住人物的個性特點(diǎn)，分析故事的主題思想，從而發(fā)展學(xué)生的分析、推理等思維能力。在情節(jié)分析中強(qiáng)調(diào)動詞的正確使用，補(bǔ)充有關(guān)情緒描寫的表達(dá)，為續(xù)寫做好語言上的準(zhǔn)備。（3）分析段首句，以提問的形式對段首句中有可能展開的情節(jié)進(jìn)行刪選，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生在續(xù)寫時做到情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)上與原文保持邏輯一致?！緦?dǎo)構(gòu)卡】1.1.OutlineforParagraph12.OutlineforParagraph2Tip3:Focusonthegivensentencesandunderlinedwords.【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】通過對故事和段首句的分析，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生從以下三個方面尋找情節(jié)構(gòu)思的突破口：主人公可能存在的情緒、行為和有可能使用的劃線的關(guān)鍵詞，同時要求學(xué)生注意段首句與后續(xù)句子之間的銜接、第一段與第二段之間的銜接?！緦?dǎo)評卡】評價(jià)項(xiàng)目內(nèi)容描述得分（優(yōu)秀評價(jià)項(xiàng)目內(nèi)容描述得分（優(yōu)秀3，良好2，一般1）主題思想主題明確，積極向上情節(jié)構(gòu)思續(xù)寫情節(jié)與原文高度相關(guān)兩個續(xù)寫段落之間銜接合理續(xù)寫段首語與后續(xù)情節(jié)連貫語言表達(dá)用詞準(zhǔn)確，語法正確語言豐富（細(xì)節(jié)描寫、句式多樣）使用5個以上劃線的關(guān)鍵詞總分/1.1.Passage1forgrading:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.Nevertheless,theywereofnouseformetowarmup.FeelingIcouldn’tmakeitalive,Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Jim,whoseescapewasblockedbyme,wassurprisinglycalm.AsIwasreadytobearhisstormyblame,hebegantocrackjokestocomfortme.Withtheencouragementfromthegroup,IfirmlybelievedLucacouldfindsomeonetorescueme.(Howmanyscores?Why?)2.Passage2forgrading:Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.WhenIsawthem,Ibreathedfreely.Therescueteamusedtheirtechniquetosavemefromthegap.Isawmyparentsneartherescueteam.Atthattimetearswelledupmyeyes.Afterthisexperience,Iknewthatathinbodyisimportantwhenyougothroughagap.(Howmanyscores?Why?)Tip4:Keepthemarkingcriterioninmindwhilewriting.【設(shè)計(jì)意圖】從語意的銜接、語言表達(dá)的準(zhǔn)確性和多樣性對續(xù)寫內(nèi)容進(jìn)行評價(jià)、打分，引導(dǎo)學(xué)生了解續(xù)寫的評價(jià)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，學(xué)會自我評價(jià)和改進(jìn)，培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的批判性思維和自主學(xué)習(xí)能力?！靖戒洝块喿x下面短文,根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。OneSundaylastyear,eightofushikedforacoupleofhoursthroughthedesertnearSanDiegotoreachThunderCanyonCave.Wehadtoabseil(沿繩滑下)throughanicywaterfalltogetinside,soweputonourwetsuitsandloweredourselves30feetdown.By11:00a.m.wewereinside.Afterweclimbedfurther,wereachedanine-inchcrack.Havingmovedforfourhours,Iwastiredandwet.Thegroupleader,Luca,wasguidingthreecavers.Oneofthem,Stevegotstuckinthecrack.Therewas10minutesofpullingandpushinguntilStevewasfree.Hewastiredandneededtoleave.Luca,assumingI’dbeenthroughthecrackbefore,guidedStevethroughthecaveforanother15minutestoanexit.Iwassecondfromlasttogothrough.Ididn’trealizethatLucawasn’tthere—ifI’dknown,Iwouldn’thaveattemptedthecrack,asIneededanexperiencedguide.Thechallengeistoputyourfeetfirstdownthelengthofthecrack,andthenmoveyourbodysidewaystoswingalong,beforedroppingfivefeettothefloorofthenextspace.Onmyfirstattempt,IknewIwouldn’tmakeitthrough,butthegroupencouragedmetotryagain.Ididn’twanttoinconvenienceanyonebyhavingtomakethelongtripbackthroughthecave,soIbackedoutandtookoffmywetsuit.InjustmyT-shirt,Itriedtoslidethroughagainbutmyhips(屁股)weretrapped.Myfeetwerehangingontheothersideandmyleftarmsupportedmybody.Myhandrestedonawoodenboardthathadbeenleftcoveringboulders(大圓石)toprotectcaversfromslipping.LucareturnedandtheteamtriedeverythingtoshiftmeasImentallyfocusedonescape.Aftertwohoursmyarmweakened,soIslidfurtherintothecrack,wherethegapwasonly8.5incheswide.Mybodyweightwasonmylefthand,mybackandchesttouchingthecoldstonewalls.Theguybehindme,Jim,triedunsuccessfullytopullmeback.Ofcourse,Iwasblockinghisescape,too.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；2.至少使用5個短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語。Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________