2023高考英語復習與訓練-訓練11讀后續(xù)寫示例與寫作訓練06

讀后續(xù)寫示例與寫作訓練6

【寫作示例】

【原文呈現(xiàn)】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

Wearingthethinsneakerswithafewholes,Bobbywasgettingcold.Hehadbeensittingout

inhisbackyardinthesnowforalmostanhour,thinking.Tryashemight,hecouldnotcomeup

withanideaforhismother'sChristmasgift.Heshookhisheadashethought,"EvenifIdocome

upwithanidea,Idon'thaveanymoney.^^

Hisfatherpassedawaythreeyearsago,andthesmallsalarythathismotherwasearning

couldhardlymakeendsmeet.Althoughthefamilylackedmoneyandmaterialthings,theylived

withlove.Bobbyhadthreesisters,whoranthehouseholdintheirmother'sabsence.Allofthem

hadmadebeautifulgiftsfortheirmother.Frustratingly,hehadnothing,anditwasChristmasEve

already.Wipingatearfromhiseye,Bobbystartedtowalkdowntothestreet.

Hewalkedfromshoptoshop,lookingintoeachdecoratedwindow.Everythingseemedso

beautifulandsooutofreach.ItwasstartingtogetdarkandBobbyunwillinglyturnedtowalk

homewhensuddenlyhecaughtsightofsomethingshiningontheground.Hereacheddownand

discoveredashinydime.

NeverbeforehadanyonefeltsowealthyasBobbyfeltatthatmoment.However,his

excitementquicklyturnedcoldwhenhewastoldthathecouldnotbuyanythingwithonlyten

cents.

Suddenlytheflowersinashopcaughthiseye,andhewentinside.Bobbypresentedthedime

andaskedifhecouldbuyaflowerforhismother'sChristmasgift.Theshopownerlookedat

Bobbyandhistencentsoffering.ThenheputhishandonBobby'sshoulderandsaidtohim,“You

justwaithereandrilseewhatIcandoforyou.^^

AsBobbywaitedintheshop,helookedatthebeautifulflowersandeventhoughhewasa

boy,hecouldseewhymothersandgirlslikedflowers.

Thelastcustomer'sleavingbroughtBobbybacktoreality.Bobbybegantofeellonelyand

anxious.(341words)

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為150左右；

2.應使用5個以上短文標有下劃線的關鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語以為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標出你所使用的關鍵詞。

Paragraph1:

Afterwhatseemedanage,theshopownercameout.

Paragraph2:

“Couldthisbetrue?”thoughtBobby.

【思維路徑】

［核心內容］

文本主要內容為：一個身無分文的貧窮的小男孩想給媽媽準備一份圣誕禮物。他意外地

在街上拾到一枚十美分硬幣，可是很快就被告知十美分買不了任何東西。之后他走進了一家

花店，詢問能不能用硬幣買一枝花，老板讓他等一會，去看看能為他做點什么。店里最后一

位客人的離開將他拉回了現(xiàn)實，他開始感到孤單和惶恐。

［寫作思路I

(1)明確故事人物關系(characters)。故事中主要人物為小男孩Bobby和花店老板。

(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。想為媽媽準備一份圣誕禮物的小男孩帶著十美分的硬幣

走近了一家花店，詢問是否可以買一支花，花店老板讓他在店里等一會兒。

(3)根據(jù)已知人物、事件及續(xù)寫段落首句預測故事發(fā)展(development)。故事總體的發(fā)展

應該是過了許久花店老板才從里面走出來，然后他所做的事情使小男孩感到難以置信。結合

上文中花店老板對小男孩熱情關懷的態(tài)度，和小男孩的請求，可以預測或許花店老板為小男

孩準備了一束價值遠遠超過十美分的一束美麗的鮮花，因此小男孩有種不真實感。續(xù)寫第一

段：花店老板出來時，手里拿著一束包裝好的美麗的鮮花，并且告訴Bobby這束花的價格

正好是10美分。續(xù)寫第二段：Bobby被嚇到了，懷疑這不是事實?；ǖ昀习逵蒙埔獾闹e言

騙小男孩說這些花正好在促銷，他手上的錢正好夠付；或者向他解釋這是圣誕老人準備好放

在他店里并且告訴他會有一個拿著十美分硬幣的小男孩來買。最后Bobby開心地付了錢，

接過花，回家去了。

(4)結合下劃線詞羅列寫作要點(points)。結合下劃線詞和文本內容一一花店老板走了出

來以及Bobby的不真實感，展開盡可能豐富的想象，羅列出盡可能多的故事發(fā)展情節(jié)。例

如，第一段可以通過問以下問題來獲取寫作要點“WhatdidtheshopownerdoforBobby?Did

hegetthelittleboysomeHowers?WhatdidtheHowerslooklike?What'stheprice?等“；第二段

可以問以下問題來獲取寫作要點："WhydidBobbyfeelitwasuntrue?Howdidtheshopowner

explaintohim?DidBobbybelieve?DidhegettheChristmasgiftforhismather?Howwouldhe

feel?等”。

［參考范文］

Afterwhatseemedanage,theshopownercameout.There,inhishands,lyingtwelvelong

stem,redroses,withleavesofgreenandtinywhiteflowersalltiedtogether.Bobby'sheartsankas

theownerplacedthemgentlyintoalongwhitebox."Thatwillbetencents,youngman."theshop

ownersaid,reachingouthishandforthedime.

“Couldthisbetrue?"thoughtBobby.Nooneelsewouldgivehimanythingforhisdime!

Sensingtheboy'shesitatation,theshopowneradded,“Ijusthappenedtohavesomerosesonsale

fortencentsadozen.Wouldyouliketobuythem?^^ThistimeBobbydidnothesitate.Hemoved

hishandtogivethemanhisdime,andwhenthemanplacedthelongboxintohishands,Bobby

knewitwastrue.Havingtheseflowersforhismother'sChristmasgift,Bobbywasmorethan

happy.Walkingoutoftheshop,heheardtheshopkeepersay,“MerryChristmas!?,(154words)

［范文解析］

范文圍繞文章的內容進行了合情合理的拓展?；ǖ昀习迮呐男∧泻⒌募绨蜃屗纫粫?/p>

以看出他對小男孩的態(tài)度熱情友好，并且續(xù)寫第二段給出的開頭是Bobby難以置信的感覺，

因此第一段寫了花店老板出來后手里拿著一束用綠葉和小白花裝飾的玫瑰出來以十美分的

價格賣給小男孩。第二段，小男孩感到難以置信，又結合文章前文描述的小男孩熱切希望能

夠送媽媽一份禮物，寫了最終小男孩買到了一份圣誕節(jié)禮物，而這份禮物就是花店老板提供

的這束玫瑰花，中間缺少一個小男孩相信這一事實而接受了十美分買這束花的理由，因此，

寫花店老板告訴小男孩玫瑰花正好在促銷也是符合情理的。

［提煉歸納］

1.有效運用人物心理描寫和語言描寫推動故事發(fā)展

在有特定情境和人物對話的故事續(xù)寫過程中，要通過對故事主要人物的動作描寫和語言

描寫來推動故事的發(fā)展。例如范文中我們用了"Bobby'sheartsank","ThistimeBobbydidnot

hesitate"兩處描寫表現(xiàn)了知道事實前后Bobby的心理變化；而結尾中花店老板的語言描寫

不僅切合了他善良友好的性格特點，又推動了故事的發(fā)展。

2.巧用非謂語動詞，使語言更自然地道

在具體的寫作過程中，除了讓故事發(fā)展合情合理，我們還可以考慮使用一些表達技巧使

文本更加連貫，語言更加地道。例如，在范文中，我們用了多處非謂語動詞結構，如“There,

inhishands,lyingtwelvelongstem,redroses…“，"，reachingouthishand",Sensingtheboy's

hesitation等。

【寫作演練】

L閱讀下面材料?，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫

的詞數(shù)應為150左右。

Thedoctorssentmymotherhometodie.Asafifteen-yearsurvivorofbreastcancer,shehad

sufferedtwoheartattackswhenadvancedcancerwasfoundinherlung.Thedoctortoldmesadly,

“Shehasafewdays,maybeaweek.Herheartisweakandunstable."Momhadstruggledtoraise

threedaughterswhileholdingafull-timejob,yetworkedhardtomaintainawarmhomeforher

family.MyplanfbrMom'sfinaldayswassimple:shewouldlivewithlove,anddiewithgrace.

Itookmothertomyhome,smallbutcomfortable,whichwasaheaventofourcatsandadog.

Theanimalshadtherunofmyhouse.Weequippedthebedroomwithanelectrichospitalbedand

anoxygenmachine,whichfrightenedthecats.I'dmovedtheirfurnitureandthecatswere

annoyed.Thedog,ontheotherhand,animmaturedogwithbadhabits,wasexcitedbyallthe

changesinthehouse.Hejumpedup,barking.HeisOttowhowasnotafraidofthehospitalbed,

theoxygenmachineorthemedicalsmells.Norwasheafraidoftheweakwomanwhohadscolded

him.OttojumpedontothefootofMom'shospitalbed,andstayed.Withtheexceptionofeating

andusingthelitterbox,OttoneverleftMom'sroom.

DayspassedandMomstartedtorally."Notunusual,Iwastold,€tarallyisoftenasignof

imminentdeath（回光返照）"Iwasheart-broken.ButOttowouldnotgiveherupsoeasily.Heused

herimprovedconditiontorepositionhimselffromthefootofherbedtoherside.Herthinfingers

foundhissoftcoat.Heleanedintoherbody,asifholdingtightthestringsofherwilltolive.

Thoughweak,shepettedthedogandwouldnotallowedmetotakehim.Daysturnedintoweeks

andMomcontinuedtofight.

Paragraph1

Once,afterthenurseshadgonefbrtheday,IheardthesoundofMom'svoicecomingfrom

herroom.

Paragraph2

Threeyearslater,MomtogetherwithOttoisstillhere,medicinesandnurseslonggone.

2.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫

的詞數(shù)應為150左右。

Therewassomethingintheelderlywoman'sgracethatcaughtmyeye.Althoughslowand

unsureofhersteps,thewomanmovedwithdeliberation（從容），andtherewasnohesitationinher

gestures.

Itwasafewyearsago,andIhadtakenapart-timeholiday-seasonjobinavideostoreatthe

localshoppingmall.Frominsidethestore,Icouldseethepeopleoutsiderushingby.

Theelderlywomanenteredthestore,alongwithherdaughter,whowasdisplayingaserious

caseofimpatience,rollinghereyes,sighingandcheckingherwatcheveryfewseconds.Iguessed

ifshehadpossessedarope,shewouldhavefastenedittohermothertodragheralongtokeep

stepwiththerushofothershoppers.

TheelderlywomanseparatedfromherdaughterandbegantoseekthroughtheDVDsonthe

nearestshelf.Aftertheslightesthesitation,IwalkedoverandaskedifIcouldhelpherfind

something.Thewomansmiledupatmeandshowedmeatitlewrittenonanoldpieceofpaper.

RatherthanrushofftolocatetheDVDforthewoman,IaskedhertowalkwithmesoIcould

showherwhereshecouldfindit.Lookingback,IthoughtIwantedtoenjoyhercompanyfora

moment.Somethingaboutherdeliberatemovementsremindedmeofmyownmother,who'd

passedawaythepreviousChristmas.Imissedmymomandstillfeltregretfulaboutthemoments

whenEdusedmyimpatiencetomakeherlifeunhappy.

Aswewalkedalongthebackofthestore,Iintroduceditsfloorplan:oldtelevisionshows,

actionmovies,cartoons,sciencefiction.Thewomanseemedgladoftheunrushedcompanyand

casualconversation.

WefoundtheDVDandshethankedme,sayingthatitwastheoneshe'denjoyedwhenshe

washerdaughter'sage.Unwillingly,Iaccompaniedhertothecashregister,realizingIhadto

returntheelderlywomantoherdaughter,whowasstilltappingherfootatthefrontofthestore.

3.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)寫

的詞數(shù)應為150左右。

Ilikeallkindsofchocolate.Motherhadboughtabarofit,andsomehowIcouldn'tstop

thinkingaboutit.IwashelpingFatherintheyardwhenIgottheideathatIcouldcutofftheendof

thatbarofchocolate.Motherwouldbesuretomissit,butbeforeshehadanyideawhohaddone

it,IcouldadmitthatI'dtakenittoescapeaspanking（挨揍）。IwaiteduntilMotherwasoutfeeding

thechickens.ThenItoldFatherIthoughtI'dgoinforadrinkofwater.Igotthebardown,butI

heardMothercomingjustwhenIhadtheknifereadytocut.SoIslippedthechocolateintothe

frontofmyshirtandleftquickly.BeforeIwentbacktohelpFather,!wenttothebarn（谷倉）and

hidthechocolatethere.

Alltherestofafternoon,!didn'tliketolookatFather.Everytimehespokeitmademe

jump.Myhandsbeganshakingsomuchthatheaskedmewhatwasthematter.Itoldhimitwasjust

thatmyhandswerecold.Iknewhedidn'tbelieveme,andeverytimehelookedmywaymyheart

startedpounding.Ididn*twantthechocolateanymore.Iwantedachancetoputitbackwithout

beingcaught.

IwasnearlyouttowherethecowswerewhenIrememberedwhatFatherhadsaidonce-some

ofthefamilymoneywasminebecauseIhadhelpedtoearnit.Whywouldn'titbeallrightto

figurethebarofchocolatehadbeenboughtwithmyownmoney?Thatseemedtofix

everything.ButbythetimeIhadthecowsheadedhome,Ihadbeguntoworryagain.Idecidedto

leavethewholemattertotheLord.IpickedupadriedstickanddecidedIwouldthrowitupinto

theairandtakemyordersfromthewayitlanded.Ifitpointedwest.Fdtakethewholebarback.Ifit

pointedsouth.l*dtakehalfaninchofftheend.Ifitpointedeast,I'dboughtthebarwithmyown

moneyanditwouldn'tbestealingtokeepit.IswungthestickashighasIcould.Whenitcame

down,itpointedmostlywest-butalittlesouth.ThatnightIcouldn'tsleep.Ikepttryingto

rememberhowmuchthatstickhadreallybeenpointingtothesouth.

ParagraphI:

AtlastIgotup,slippedoutintotheyardandtooktheax（斧頭）fromthechoppingblock.

Paragraph2.

ThenhestoodmeonmyfeetandaskedifIthoughtIhaddeservedthespanking._

4.閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。續(xù)

寫的詞數(shù)應為150左右。

Isatatthebreakfasttablewithmyfour-year-oldson,Matthew,tryingtoignoretheachein

mystomach."Mama,wanttoplay?""Nottoday,baby,"Ishookmyhead.ThesedaysIcould

barelygetoutofbed.Iwasstillrecoveringfromasurgery.Ihopedforstrengthandhappiness.But

thefutureseemedsohopeless.

Suddenly,Matthewjumpedupfromhisspotonthekitchenfloor."Bird!”heshouted,rushing

toourcourtyard.Sureenough,therewasawhitedoveseatedinarubbertree.Itsatthereforafew

moments,andthenflewaway.Strange,I'dneverseenoneinourneighborhoodbefore.

WhenIdraggedmyselftothekitchenthenextmorning,thedovewasback.Thistimewitha

matecarryingtwigs."Look,Matthew/*Isaid,pointingtothetree.t4They'regoingtomakeanest.”

Thedovesflewinandoutofthecourtyardallweek,buildingontopoftherubbertree.

Matthewcouldhardlycontainhisexcitement.Everymorning,he'drunintothekitchenand

takehisspotbytheslidingglassdoor,talkingtothebirdswhiletheyworked.Hisenthusiasmwas

influential.AsmuchasIwasgrieving,Icouldn'thelpbutlookforwardtothedoves*visitstoo.

Thenitallwentwrong.Thecourtyardwasasafeenoughspotforanest,buttherubbertree's

broad,thinleaveswerefarfromstable.Onenight,astrongwindblew,throwingthedoves*nestto

theground.Iheardthetwigsbreakapart.

Isurveyedthedamage.Nothinggoodeverlasts.Iwouldn'tblamethedovesiftheynever

cameback.Buttheyreturned.Andtheypaidnoattentiontothepileofsticksthathadoncebeen

theirnest.Theystartedagainfromscratch.Again,though,thewinddestroyedalltheirhardwork.

Thenextday,andthenext,theyrenewedtheirefforts,asifnothinghadhappened.

Paragraph1:

IknewIhadtodosomething.

Paragraph2:

“Itworks!Thebirdsareback!”Matthewannounced.

5.閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進行續(xù)寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

ItwasaSundaymorning.Bettywokeupearlierthanusual.Shecouldn'tsleepanylonger

becauseshewassoexcitedthatheruncleMarkwastakinghertothebeach.Shehadalwaysloved

goingsurfingwithheruncle.Sheputherswimmingsuitonandtookquicklythatshehadprepared

thenightgotbeforeandwentoutsidetowait.Shejumpedupanddownwithjoywhenshesawher

uncle'sredjeepturnthecornerdownherstreet.

UncleMarkgotoutofthecarandhelpedBettygetin."Areyouready?,,heasked.t4Yes!^^

repliedBetty.UncleMarkcouldseetheexcitementinherface.Suddenlyhesaidseriously,"Well,

beforewego,Ihavetoletyouknowthatasharkappearedrecentlywherewe'regoingtosurf

today.,,Scaredandshocked,Bettycouldn'tsayaword.44Haha!I'mkiddingyou,"UncleMark

burstoutlaughing.Bettylaughedtoo.SheknewUncleMarklikedteasingothers.t4Lefsgoand

havesomebreakfast,Iknowjusttheplace/,UncleMarksaid.Theywenttoa

breakfastshopandatesometacos（炸玉米餅）.

AfterbreakfastthetwoofthemwentdowntoPacificBeachandgottheirsurfboardsready.

“Firstyouhavetowax（打蠟）thebottom,explainedUncleMark."Iknow.Tvewatchedyoudoit

before!1'BettysaidasshetookthewaxfromUncleMark'shand.Ittookabout15minutestowax

thebottomoftheirboards.WhenBettyfinished,UncleMarklookeditovertomakesureitwas

donewell."Nicejob,Betty,youwaxyourboardlikeatruesurffer.”

Finally,theywerereadytogetintothewater.Theycarriedtheirboardsdowntothebeach

andwentoutintothewater.Bettywasoverlyexcitedandtriedtorushtocatchawave.Predictably,

shecrashedandhadtostartover.Nextwasheruncle'sturn.Hestooduponhisfirsttryand

smoothlysurfedthewavebeforejumpingintothewater.Bettycheeredforheruncle'sperfectrun.

注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為150左右；

2.應使用5個以上短文中標有下劃線的關鍵詞語；

3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；

4.續(xù)寫完成后，請用下劃線標出你所使用的關鍵詞語。

Paragraph1:

Allofasudden,Bettyfeltsomethingtouchingthebottomofherfoot.

Paragraph2:

“Help!Help!^^Bettyscreamedinhorror.

答案與解析

I.【參考范文】

ParagraphI:

Once,afterthenurseshadgonefortheday,IheardthesoundofMom'svoicecomingfiom

herroom.Ifoundherwiththeheadofthebedraised,readingfromthenewspaper,withOttoin

herarms,listeningadoringly.IwillforevercherishthememoryofOtto'stouchingherface.

Eventually,usingawalker,Mombegantotakewalksthroughthehouse,followedbyOtto.Where

sherested,Ottorested.Whereshemoved,Ottoshadowed.Somehow,Ottoknewthatduringthose

dayshebecameherdogchild,givingherlifepurpose.

Paragraph2:

Threeyearslater.MomtogetherwithOttoisstillhere,medicinesandnurseslonggone.

Whenwesawthedoctorawhileago,UIcan'tbelieveit,Lula,"hesaid.U1can'tfindyourcancer

andyourheartisstrong.Whenyourdaughterbroughtyoutome,Ithoughtyouwereashipthat

hadsailed."MomgivesthecredittoOtto,whocontinuestosharehisgiftoflove—amedicine

morepowerfulthananydrugadoctorcouldprescribe.

【解析】

1.第一段給出的首句是Jalinlookedupandhesawtheotherboysrushingahead.這一句是故事

發(fā)展的轉折點。可以從“我發(fā)現(xiàn)她抬起床頭，讀著報紙，懷里抱著奧托，崇拜地聽著?！比胧?/p>

擴展開去，——無論從何角度拓展，需注意與續(xù)寫第二段首句呼應，最后一句應該用“不知

道為什么，奧托知道在那些日子里，他成了她的狗孩子，給了她生活的目標?！迸c第二段首

句相呼應。

2.第二段所給首句Filledwithpleasure,Jatinwalkedhomeinnotime.這一句呼應前文，緊接著

可以從“不久前我們去看醫(yī)生時，他說:‘我真不敢相信，盧拉。入手續(xù)寫。

【范文點評】

這是一篇續(xù)寫。符合續(xù)寫要求，段落之間銜接緊密，句子環(huán)環(huán)相扣，層次清晰。同時文中使

用高級句子。Ifoundherwiththeheadofthebedraised,readingfromthenewspaper,withOttoin

herarms,listeningadoringly.句中現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀語;Eventually,usingawalker,Mombegan

totakewalksthroughthehouse,followedbyOtto.過去分詞作方式狀語；Whereshemoved,Otto

shadowed.句中where弓|導地點狀語從句；Whenyourdaughterbroughtyoutome,Ithoughtyou

wereashipthathadsailed.句中when引導時間狀語從句。

2.【參考范文】

Para.1

AstheelderlywomanwaswaitinginthequeueatthecashregisterIwalkedovertoher

daughter."Mindsomeadvice?”Iasked.Sherolledhereyesandsaid."Ofcoursenot.^^Butclearly

therewasannoyanceinherreply.IsmiledtoshowherIwasn'tcriticizing."Cherishherand

cherisheverysinglemomentyoucanstaywithher,“Isaid,tohersurprise,AndthenIanswered

hercuriousexpressionbysaying,tuWhenshe'sgone,ifstheselittlemomentsthatwillcomeback

toyou.Momentslikethis.^^Havingfinishedsayingthis,Inoticedtheelderlywomanmovingwith

herdeliberation（優(yōu)雅）backtoherdaughter.

Para.2

Togethertheymadetheirwaytowardthestoresexit.Theystoodthereforamoment,sideby

side,watchingtherushoftheholidaycurrentandthenlookingateachother.Slowly,thedaughter

placedherarmwithapparentlyunaccustomedaffectionaroundhermother'sshouldersandgently

guidedherbackintothecrowd.TearsfilledmyeyeswhenIwatchedthemdisappearinginthe

crowd.

【解析】

通過閱讀所給文章可知，作者在錄像帶工作做兼職時,看到了一對母女一起走進了商店。

女兒非常不耐煩，而母親只是從容地選著DVD?？吹竭@里作者想到了自己的母親，于是在

收銀臺排隊時給了女兒一些忠告。

續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，第一段開頭是：當那位老婦人在收銀臺排隊時，我走向她的女兒。

可知后文應當描寫作者和女兒的對話，作者勸告女兒珍惜現(xiàn)在和母親相處的時刻；第二段開

頭是:他們一起朝商店的出口走去。后文應當描寫聽了作者建議的女兒和母親在一起的表現(xiàn),

她把她的胳膊放在她母親的肩膀上，帶著明顯不習慣的感情，輕輕地把她帶回到人群中。作

者看著消失在人群中，熱淚盈眶。

最后注意詞數(shù)為150詞左右。

【范文點評】

本文描寫詳略得當，使用了高級詞匯和高級句子。如：annoyance,toone'ssurprise,

deliberation等高級詞匯；時間狀語從句Whenshe'sgone,it'stheselittlemomentsthatwillcome

backtoyou.；非謂語動詞的運用Havingfinishedsaying由is,Inoticedtheelderlywomanmoving

withherdeliberationbacktoherdaughter.等高級句式。

3.【參考范文】

Paragraph1:

Atlast/gotup,slippedoutintotheyardandtooktheaxfromthechoppingblockThenIwent

intothebamandtookthechocolateoutside.Bythelightofthemoon,Iwasabouttocutofftheend

ofthebarwhenIheardnSon!uIcouldn'tthinkofathingtosay.Igrabbedupthebarofchocolate

andhiditnexttomychestbefore1turnedaround.Fatherpickedmeupandtookmeovertothe

woodpile.Ididn'tknowanybodycouldspankashardashedid.

Paragraph2:

Thenhestoodmeonmyfeetandaskedif1thoughtIhaddeservedthespanking.Hesaidit

wasn'tsomuchthatI'dtakenthechocolate,butthatI'dtriedtohideitfromhim/'Son,"hesaid,"I

knowyouhelptoearnthefamilymoney.Wemightsaythechocolatewasyoursinthefirst

place.Youcouldhavehaditifyou'daskedforit,butIwon'thaveyoubeingsneakyaboutthings.

【解析】

本篇書面表達是讀后續(xù)寫。通過閱讀所給文章可知，作者記敘了孩童時一次“偷”東西的

經(jīng)歷，因為很愛吃巧克力，作者打算偷吃一點媽媽買的巧克力卻意外地將其整塊巧克力拿走，

然后就陷入了不知如何處理的尷尬局面中，他選擇了扔棍子讓天意告訴他該怎么做，如果落

下來指向西就還回去，指向南就切一點,指向懂就花錢買下來，最終棍子是指向西偏一點南。

續(xù)寫的部分就從那天晚上開始。

【范文點評】

續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，第一段開頭是：我起了床，溜到院子里拿起了斧頭。所以應該寫他

準備切巧克力了，但是第二段開頭是：他讓我站好然后問我覺得自己值不值得挨揍。由此可

知作者在切巧克力時應該是被父親發(fā)現(xiàn)了然后被父親揍了一頓，這些都要在第一段體現(xiàn)。而

第二段則應該承接父親的問題，借由父親之口向作者講清道理，或總結作者從中的收獲，使

文章完整。

續(xù)寫時要注意所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為150左右，需按要求完成續(xù)寫任務。

【范文點評】

本文描寫詳略得當，使用了高級詞匯。如：bythelightofthemoon,beaboutto,besneaky

about等；情境描寫得較為生動，代入感強；英文表達地道，如：Hesaiditwasn'tsomuchthat

Fdtakenthechocolate,butthatFdtriedtohideitfromhim熟練地運用了形式主語it,彰顯了較

高的英語水平。

4.【參考范文】

IknewIhadtodosomething.Thewhitedoveanditsmatehadgivenmesomethingtolook

forwardto,eveninmydarkestdays.NowIwasgoingtohelptheminreturn.Iwokeupthe

followingmorningwithaplan.Therewasonlyanhourbeforethedovesusuallymadetheirvisits.

Ihammeredashelfintothewallnexttotherubbertreeandcovereditwithleavestomakeitlook

likeatree.ThenMatthewandIstoodbytheslidingglassdoor,waitingandhoping.

“Itworks!Thebirdsareback!”Matthewannounced.Theretheywere—sittingontopofthe

shelf,addingsometwigstothenewnestdespitedamagefromthestrongwind.Threeweekslater,

wewatchedthreechicksbreakfreefromtheirshells.4tChirp,chirp!”Matthewsang.Iheldhim

closeandkissedhim,feelingmorepositiveandhopefulthanIhadinmonths.Irealizedallaround

me,lifewenton.AnditwasfilledwithwondersandsurprisesthatIcouldn'tevenimagine.

【解析】

通過閱讀所給文章可知，作者四歲的兒子Matthew每天都看到白鴿來到自己家的院子

里，每天早上，他都會跑進廚房，站在滑動玻璃門旁邊，在鳥兒搭巢時和它們說話。一天夜

里，刮起了一陣大風，把鴿巢掀到地上。作者以為鴿子再也不回來，但他們又回來了。它們

對那堆曾經(jīng)是它們巢穴的樹枝毫不在意。他們又從零開始。然而，風又一次摧毀了他們所有

的辛勤工作。第二天，接著第二天，他們又繼續(xù)努力，仿佛什么也沒發(fā)生過。

續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，第一段開頭是：我知道我必須做點什么。所以后文應該是講述鴿子

給了作者一些值得期