英語脫口秀臺詞

1、英語脫口秀臺詞脫口秀不單單只有中國人會欣賞，人家老外也愛聽，一起來看看以下的英語脫口秀吧。Hi, everybody. Hi! So I dont have too much time up here, before my green card expires. See I grew up in a poor neighborhood in China. The middle school that I went to one year decided to pave the dirt roads with bricks and cement. And the students were re

2、quired to bring bricks to school and .We worked really hard for 3 weeks and finally we built a road. Years later, I heard about the term: child labor. I was like, what?! Those kids got paid?!嗨，大家好啊!嗨!那個我能表演的時間不多，因為我綠卡馬上要過期了。我是在中國的窮鄉(xiāng)僻壤長大的。我們初中某年突然決定要修整土路，鋪上磚頭和水泥，讓學(xué)生們帶磚頭到學(xué)校來我們玩命地干了三個禮拜終于把路修好了。多年以后我聽說了

3、這個詞：童工。我立馬就驚訝了，啥?!那些小孩干活還有錢拿?I got a D minus. But I read that younger kids nowadays cant even read the analog watches any more. They can only read the digital ones. I was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? Its gonna be like, Hot chick, 3 oclock. I cant stay th

4、at long.我拿到的只是D-。我看報道，如今的小孩都不會看手表了。他們只能看懂電子表。我心想，等他們長大以后該如何報告辣妹的位置啊?別人說，“辣妹在三點鐘方向”。我不能待那么久的。So I came to the US for college and I was really into science, which really helped me in the romance department. Like once I asked this girl out and she said, no. I said, are you sure? And she said to me, hey

5、 Joe, NO means NO. I said, well. it also means Nitric Oxide.我來美國是讀大學(xué)，我很喜歡科學(xué)，這對我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次，我來美國是讀大學(xué)，我很喜歡科學(xué)，這對我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次，我約女孩子出去，她說不行。我問，真不行啊?她說，嘿，Joe，NO就是不行的意思。我說，NO也是一氧化氮啊。And one year, I went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Heres something you guys should know about me. I dont approve of nu

6、dity in public. But when it happens, I want to be there.有一年，我去新奧爾良參加狂歡節(jié)。 對于我，你們要了解一點，我是不贊同公共場合赤身裸體的。不過要是真有人這么干了，那我不能錯過啊。And when I first came to the United States, I took a English as a second language class. And the teacher there was too lazy to remember the students names. So he just handed out a

7、list of American names for us to choose from. And by the time I got the list, there were only two names left, so I just picked Joe instead of Jake. And the other day, I told that story to my son, Jake.我初到美國時，參加了英語培訓(xùn)課程。我們老師特別懶，記不住學(xué)生名字。于是他就給了我們一張美國名字表，讓我們選名字。等我拿到表時，只剩下倆名字了，所以我就選了Joe。我選了Joe，另一個是Jake。有一

8、天，我把這故事講給我兒子聽，他叫Jake。So my son is four years old now. But he still has a lot of growing-up to do. Sometimes I look at my son, I was like, wow, this gentleman contributes nothing to society. And I have to pretend that Im impressed by everything he does. I was like, wow, you walked half a block by yourself? Thats amazing! But in the back of my mind, I was like, big deal! When I was a kid, I built