-2024屆高三英語二輪復習2021年浙江高考真題讀后續(xù)寫家庭趣事類頭卡南瓜拔不出講義

讀后續(xù)寫原題目：PumpkincarvingatHalloweenisafamilytradition.WevisitalocalfarmeveryOctober.Inthepumpkinfield,Icompetewithmythreebrothersandsistertoseekoutthebiggestpumpkin.Mydadhasarulethatwehavetocarryourpumpkinsbackhome,andastheeldestchild,Ihaveanadvantage-Icarriedan85-pounderbacklastyear.Thisyear,itwashardtotellwhethermyprizeortheonechosenbymy14-year-oldbrother,Jason,wasthewinner.Unfortunately,weforgottoweighthembeforetakingouttheirinsides,butIwasdeterminedtoprovemypoint.Allofuswerehardatworkatthekitchentable,withmymomfilmingtheannualevent.I'munsurenowwhyIthoughtforcingmyheadinsidethepumpkinwouldsettlethematter,butitseemedtomakeperfectsenseatthetime.Withthepumpkinrestingonthetable,holeuppermost,Ibentoverandpressedmyheadagainsttheopening.Atfirst,Igotjammedjustabovemyeyes,andthen,asIwentonwithmytask,unwillingtoquit,mynosebrieflypreventedentry.Finally,Imanagedtoputmywholeheadintoit,likeacork

forcedintoabottle.Iwasabletostraightenupwiththehugepumpkinrestingonmyshoulders.Myexcitementwasshort-lived.Thepumpkinwasheavy."I'mgoingtosetitdown,now,"Isaid,andwithJasonhelpingtosupportitsweight,Ibentbackoverthetabletogiveitsomewheretorest.ItwasonlywhenItriedtoremovemyheadthatIrealizedgettingoutwasgoingtobelessstraightforwardthangettingin.WhenIpulledhard,mynosegotintheway.IgotintoapanicasIpressedfirmlyagainstthetableandmovedmyheadaroundtryingtofindtherightangle,butitwasnouse."Ican'tgetitout!"Ishouted,myvoicesoundingunnaturallyloudintheenclosedspace.注意：1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應為150左右；2.至少使用5個短文中標有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語；3.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好；

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Itwasfiveorsixminutesthoughitfeltmuchlonger.

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ThevideowaspostedtheMondaybeforeHalloween.在寫之前我們先確定一下情節(jié)，情節(jié)是否跌宕起伏其實在高考寫作中并不重要，我們只需要簡單的構(gòu)造一個合理的邏輯閉環(huán)，再進行句子擴充：情節(jié)構(gòu)造三部曲用三句話概括：1.沖突2.解決過程3.圓滿大結(jié)局以本題為例：1.

Irealizedthecamerahadbeenrollingthewholetime.2.Dadhelpedmeadjustmybodytoamorerelaxedposition,andpulledthepumpkingentlyoffmy

head.3.

Thewords

broughtwarmth.稍微進行擴充，就得到了新的Version：Itwasfiveorsixminutesthoughitfeltmuchlonger.

Theairinsidethehollowvegetable

wasfullofmyanxiousbreath.Icouldhearmysister’slaughterandJason’smuffledvoicetalking

aboutcuttingthegiantthingopen.“No!Notmypreciouspumpkin!”Iprotested.Eventually,

Dadhelpedmeadjustmybodytoamorerelaxedposition,andpulledthepumpkingentlyoffmy

head.Hairinknots,nosepluggedwithpulp,andchaincoveredinpumpkinflesh,

Iletoutasigh

ofrelief.That’swhenIrealizedthecamerahadbeenrollingthewholetime!ThevideowaspostedonlinetheMondaybeforeHalloween.

Itwentviralimmediately,in

whichIlookedjustlikeapumpkinhead.Embarrassedandalittleannoyed,Ifledtomyroom,but

Momstoppedme.“Youhaven’treadthecommentsyet.”Iscrolleddownthescreenand

marveledatthestoriestheviewerssharedaboutHalloween.Onegirlrecalledcelebratingitwith

herbrothersandsisters,andthankedusfor“bringingherhome”.Thewordsbroughtwarmthto

myheartandtearstomyeyes.Ifeltluckytobeapartofthismischievousyetlovingfamily.這篇文章已經(jīng)相當出色，語言流暢，情節(jié)完善，有望獲得高分，但我們當然可以繼續(xù)提升一下質(zhì)量。Changed"fullofmyanxiousbreath"to

"thickwithmyanxiousbreath"

foramoredescriptiveandimmersiveatmosphere.Replaced"talkingaboutcuttingthegiantthingopen"with

"discussinghowtocarvethemassivethingopen"

toprovideaclearerdescriptionofthesituation.Altered"pulledthepumpkingentlyoffmyhead"to

"carefullyremovedthepumpkinfrommyhead"

foramorepreciseandengagingdescription.Changed"chaincoveredinpumpkinflesh"to

"clothesweresmearedwithpumpkinflesh"

forclarityandtobetterconveythemessinessofthesituation.Replaced"postedonline"with

"uploadedonline"

foramorecommonlyusedterm.Changed"inwhichIlookedjustlikeapumpkinhead"to

"showcasingmeresemblingapumpkinhead"

forimprovedclarity.Replaced"butMomstoppedme"with

"butmyMominterceptedme"

foramoreactiveanddescriptiveexpression.Replaced"broughtwarmthtomyheart"with

"warmedmyheart"

forasmootherandmoreconcisephrase.Version1.0Ithadbeenfiveorsixminutes,althoughitfeltmuchlonger.

Theairinsidethehollowed-outpumpkinwasthickwithmyanxiousbreath.Icouldhearmysister'slaughterandJason'smuffledvoicediscussinghowtocarvethemassivethingopen."No!Notmypreciouspumpkin!"Iprotested.Finally,Dadhelpedmeshiftmybodyintoamorerelaxedpositionandcarefullyremovedthepumpkinfrommyhead.Myhairwastangled,mynosewascloggedwithpumpkinpulp,andmyclothesweresmearedwithpumpkinflesh.Iletoutasighofrelief.That'swhenIrealizedthecamerahadbeenrecordingtheentiretime!ThevideowaspostedonlinetheMondaybeforeHalloween.

Itimmediatelywentviral,showcasingmeresemblingapumpkinhead.Feelingembarrassedandslightlyannoyed,Iheadedtomyroom,butmyMominterceptedme."Youhaven'treadthecommentsyet."IscrolleddownthescreenandwasamazedbythestoriesthatviewerssharedabouttheirHalloweenexperiences.Onegirlreminiscedaboutcelebratingwithhersiblingsandexpressedhergratitudeforus"bringingherhome."Thosewordswarmedmyheartandbroughttearstomyeyes.Ifeltfortunatetobeapartofthismischievousyetlovingfamily.現(xiàn)在這篇文章在語言方面絲滑了不少，但是我們還可以提高一下語域，與“普通高中生”徹底拉開差距。VocabularyEnhancement:Replaced"full"with"exuded"toconveyamorepreciseanddescriptivesenseoftheatmosphere.Substituted"anxiousbreath"with"apprehensiveexhalations"foramoresophisticatedanddescriptiveterm.Changed"discussing"to"discourse"toelevatethelanguage.Replaced"carefully"with"fastidiously"touseamoreadvancedwordthatconveysmeticulousness.Replaced"tangled"with"ensnared"toenhancethedescription.Replaced"clogged"with"besieged"touseamorevividandsophisticatedterm.Substituted"smeared"with"bespattered"foramorerefinedexpression.Replaced"immediatelywentviral"with"swiftlyattainedviralstatus"toconveyasenseofspeedandsophistication.Substituted"showcasing"with"castingmeintheroleof"toprovideamoreelaborateandengagingdescription.Replaced"Feelingembarrassedandslightlyannoyed"with"Overwhelmedbyamixofembarrassmentandmildirritation"toofferamorenuancedandadvanceddescription.Changed"headedtomyroom"to"retreatedtomyquarters"foramoreformalandrefinedexpression.Replaced"Mom"with"maternalfigure"tointroduceamoreformaltone.Substituted"perused"for"read"touseamoresophisticatedsynonym.Utilized"navigated"todescribetheprocessofgoingthroughthecommentsinamoreadvancedmanner.Replaced"amazed"with"astounded"toconveyastrongersenseofsurprise.Enhancedthedescriptionofthegirl'sstorybyusing"wistfullyrecounted"tomakeitmorevividandemotional.Substituted"gratitude"with"graciouslycredited"toemphasizetheappreciationmoreelegantly.Replaced"warmedmyheart"with"ignitedaprofoundwarmthwithinmyheart"foraricherandmoreemotionaldescription.Used"conjuredtearsinmyeyes"tocreateamorevividandevocativeimage.Version2.0Ithadbeenfiveorsixminutes,althoughitfeltmuchlonger.

Theatmospherewithintheexcavatedpumpkinexudedapalpabletension,suffusedwithmyapprehensiveexhalations.ThesonorouslaughterofmysisterandJason'smuteddiscourseconcerningtheintricateprocessofcarvingthecolossalgourdpermeatedtheenclosedspace."No!Sparemycherishedpumpkin!"Ivehementlyobjected.Atlength,myfatherassuagedmydiscomposure,adroitlyrepositioningmyframeintoamoretranquilposture,andfastidiouslyextricatedthepumpkinfrommyhead.Mycoiffurewasensnared,myolfactorysensesbesiegedbythecloyingpumpkinpulp,andmyattirebespatteredwithvestigesofthepumpkin'sviscera.Iemittedanaudiblyrelievedsigh.ItwasatthisjuncturethatIdiscernedthecontinuous